Every Song Has A Coda
by lionandlamb-cheeryandbroody
Summary: BRUCAS! Ellie Harp said, "Every song has a coda, a final movement. Whether it fades out or crashes away, every song ends. But is that any reason not to enjoy the music? The truth is, there is nothing to be afraid of. It's just life; and love."
1. Realize

Ellie Harp once said, "Every song has a coda." Is this my coda?

It's been exactly 5 hours since the wedding. The wedding that could've marked a new beginning; a new chapter of my life. It was my only escape from this square, then a triangle, that I have built. I thought that marrying Lindsey would end it all. I thought that I get to bury my feelings for my exes if I married her. At least I owe it to her to give her my name. She wasn't just a girl I used to cover my feelings for Peyton. Or for Brooke. No. She was a girl I loved. Genuinely. But apparently, she thought it wasn't enough. She felt that my heart was on someone else. And I'm afraid that she was right. Fate had other plans for me. For us. And I'm still trapped.

Everyone was probably going ballistic right now. They probably don't know where to find me. But there's someone who should know where I am right now. Wait, who am I kidding?! That was back in high school, and _**she**_ probably doesn't remember that, aside from the Rivercourt, the beach will always be the place where I can brood, as she says. They see me as Lucas Scott who **always** saves everyone from their downfall, and that I always have that "hero complex." But I'm not. I'm just human who fall at some time, too. The difference is, it is me who needs saving now. And nobody knows and notices that. Not even _**her**_.

_**Take time to realize,  
That your warmth is. Crashing down on in.  
Take time to realize,  
That I am on your side  
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.**_

"**Penny for your thoughts?" **a raspy voice asked me. 

I shrugged but didn't say anything.

"**I always knew I'd find you here."**

"**Brooke, if you're here to lecture me about being an idiot for not marrying Lindsey, save it. I think I realized that on my own, thank you very much."**

"**Woah! Easy there, Tiger. I wasn't going to?"**

"**Then why are you here?'**

"**Hey! You're not the only one who has the right to brood. Just because I call you Broody doesn't mean you own that word already. And just because you call me Cheery doesn't mean I have to be cheery all the time. I have my fair share of problems, too, you know."**

"**Yeah, right! And that is coming from a very famous fashion designer."**

"**Ok, fine! I came to see how you are! Is that such a crime?!"**

"**Brooke Davis, you have the uncanniest knack of being sarcastic to me when I don't need it the most."**

"**Part of the charm, I guess. And I'll take that as a compliment."**

Silence filled the air.

"**Talk to me," **she said.

"**About what?"**

"**About everything that's in there."**

"**Oh. Don't worry, I can handle it on my own."**

"**You know what your problem is? You want to keep those feelings bottled up inside every time. You pretend everything's fine when they're not, just so people can think you're perfect. You're just human, Luke. You have walls, I know that. But you just have to let people in. You have to let me in."**

So that came out a little harsh. But I know what she meant. I know what she was trying to do. She's trying to get through my walls and I have to let her in. I owe it to her.

"**I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said----"**

"**No, it's fine. You're right. I just…I just feel so lost, you know."**

_**But I can't spell it out for you,  
No it's never gonna be that simple  
No I can't spell it out for you**_

Before I knew it, I was crying. I was pouring my heart out to Brooke Davis. Back then, it was the other way around.

"**Come here, Luke." **She took me into her arms and just listened to me cry. For the first time in 4 years, I felt home. I felt safe and secure.

"**I miss Keith. He always knew what words to say to comfort me. He's a dad I never had. I don't know what to do anymore."**

"**You always know what to do. You're Lucas Scott. You're the only guy I know who always has the answer to things."**

"**Not this time."**

"**Lucas…"**

"**NO! Ever since you and Peyton came back, my life has been in a downward spiral," **I said, pulling away.

"**You're seriously blaming us for letting these things happen to you. That's a little immature, don't you think? I can't deal with you right now. Tell me when the Lucas Scott I know is back. The Lucas Scott that is not immature," **she said, getting up to leave.

"**I'm sorry. That was totally uncalled for. I'm angry and frustrated and lost…I just…my brain's all over the place right now. What I meant earlier was that I was kinda out of it when you and Peyton came back."**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**Before you came back, my life was on track. I was working on my new book and I had a great relationship with Lindsey, and…"**

"**And then what?"**

_**If you just realize what I just realized,  
Then we'd be perfect for each other  
And will never find another  
Just realized what I just realized  
We'd never have to wonder if  
We missed out on each other now.**_

"**My feelings resurfaced. I thought I loved Lindsey. I thought I did. But then, when she left me at the altar, I realized that no one could ever replace who's in my heart."**

"**Lucas, sorry to say this. You are an idiot, to be honest and blunt. You proposed to Lindsey when you're completely in love with Peyton still. And don't even drag me and Peyton into your mess. You know why I came back, and one more reason was for Clothes Over Bros. Yah, Peyton did come back for you. But she also wanted to get a fresh start in the town she called home. Messing up with Lindsey was all you. Lucas, you can't just----"**

"**It's not Peyton."**

"**---blame this---what?!"**

"**It's not Peyton. I mean, I thought it was. But she's not."**

"**What are you saying?! You and Peyton **_**were**_** like madly in love with each other. Come on! You're **_**the **_**Lucas and **_**the**_** Peyton. Of course you love her!"  
**

"**Take note, we **_**were. **_**And Brooke, there's no **_**the**_** Lucas and **_**the**_** Peyton. I feel like we were just clinging on to the past so much and never really moved on from it. We never really had a proper closure. But, like you said, we're not in high school anymore. It's time to move on."**

"**Then why the hell did you propose to her then?"**

"**You mean propose to her with the ring I bought for her, but went to Lindsey's finger earlier, but not before putting it on your own first? Is that what you mean?"**

"**Yes. I think I made myself clear with my question. And your point is?"**

"**Don't you get it, Brooke?"**

"**Get what? That you're an idiot? Yes, I do get that part. But the why-are-you-being-such-a-nonsense-right-now is what I don't get."**

"**It's you, ok?"**

"**It's me what? I'm the idiot? No, Luke! You're the idiot one here!"**

"**Brooke, you know what I mean."**

"**No, I don't get what you mean. And if just stop speaking in such an author-like manner here, I'll think I'll understand you. Come on, Luke. Don't throw words at me like you're writing a chapter of your book. A girl in need of layman's term here!"**

_**Take time to realize  
Oh-oh I'm on your side  
Didn't I, didn't I tell you.  
Take time to realize  
This all can pass you by**_

_**Didn't I tell you**_

"**I love you."**

"**Ok, now you really are an idiot! No! Wait, scratch that! You're psychotic and neurotic and crazy and everything that is synonymous to that!"**

"**Look! I've given enough thought about it and it's you who I want to be with."**

"**Yeah, right! I bet that's the same thing you said to Lindsey and to Peyton."**

"**I love you, Brooke. It's you, for real."**

"**No, no, no, no, no! This- is- not- happening! Ok, Brooke, you need to calm down. This is just a dream. This is just one of your "Lucas nightmares" wherein he's saying he loves you when, in reality, he's not. You're going to wake up soon and realize it's just a horrible dream," **she said while talking to herself.

"**Brooke, calm down! You're rambling! You're talking to yourself and saying things I don't know about. I think you're overreacting."**

"**I'm overreacting?! My ex who was just about to get married this morning and who is still currently in love with my bestfriend just said he loves me! How can I not overreact?!"**

"**What's so wrong with saying I love you when it's the truth?"**

"**You can't ok?! You can't!"**

_**But I can't spell it out for you,  
No it's never gonna be that simple  
No I can't spell it out for you.**_

"**Brooke, I'm pretty sure I can choose who the hell I want to be with."**

"**You're right! You can choose whoever you want! That's the thing! You chose Lindsey and you were just about to marry today, but you didn't! And then you chose Peyton! And now me! You are so messed up! Luke, listen! You can't, ok?! You can't choose me! Not again!"  
**

"**Why not?!"**

"**Because you're meant to choose Peyton. I was out of the picture a long time ago!"  
**

"**Brooke! Please! Who the hell gave you the idea that I'm meant for Peyton?! Would you just forget about her for one minute and actually think about yourself! It's not always about her!"**

"**You're right! Our relationship is not always about her! But your life is always about her and around her! And even if Peyton is out of the picture, you still can't!"**

"**Why?! You're making this hard!"  
**

"**Because!"**

"**Because what?!"**

"**You ****had**** me, Lucas! You had all of me! You had all the chances in the world! You just blew them away!"**

_**If you just realized what I just realized  
Then we'd be perfect for each other  
And we'll never find another  
Just realized what I just realized  
We'd never have to wonder if  
We missed out on each other now.**_

"**Brooke, that was then! I've changed. Things changed."**

"**Oh, really?! Have you changed when you and Peyton were kissing in her office behind Lindsey's back? Sounds like déjà vu, right?"**

"**I wouldn't do that again, Brooke. Especially not to you. I won't hurt you again. Trust me."**

"**Now you're speaking of trust?! Lindsey gave you her trust, Luke, and look where it got you. Am I supposed to be assured that it will be different this time?! No!"**

"**Brooke, I know I hurt you pretty bad. But things changed."**

"**You think it's about that? You think I'm still talking about what happened to us way back in high school? You're wrong, Lucas. I'm talking about the present. Believe it or not, I got over those things you put me through in the past. It was painful. But I have to move on. For me."**

"**How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry?"**

"**How about you mean it? I don't need that. Those are just words, Lucas; two words that tend to be overlooked and not taken seriously. You've said that a lot of times before and that didn't make me feel a lot better."**

We both fell silent.

"**Why me again, Luke?"**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**I mean, you were with Lindsey. You've been pretty much chasing Peyton around. Why me all of a sudden?"**

"**I missed you."**

"**That's it?! Just because you miss me? Well, I'm pretty sure that you miss Rachel, too, and I bet you're choosing her now because **_**you miss her**_**. That's shallow, Luke."**

"**I missed you, all of you, every single day. I tried to brush those feelings away by writing my book because it was unfair to Lindsey. But no matter what I do, I always think about you. I see your face everywhere, on the television, on the magazines. You're not that hard to avoid. You brought everything in me, Brooke. You were there when my first book came out, when my dream came true. I never realized that until reality hit me. I'll never be over you, Brooke Davis."**

She stood up and brushed the sand off her. No way! I'm not letting her go again! She started walking. Fast.

"**Brooke," **I said, touching her shoulder. She turned around and I did what I had to do. I kissed her with all the love and passion I could ever muster. God, I missed her!

I encircled my arms around her waist, while she encircled hers around my neck. Need to know if she feels the same way. And somehow, this answers all my fears and uncertainties. With all hesitation, she pulled away.

"**Where does this take us?" **I asked.

She let go of me and started walking away again. Now I'm officially confused! A minute ago, she just kissed me and I swore that she feels the same way as I do. But now, she is pulling away from me again.

"**Brooke! NO! You're not going to walk away again!"**

"**You want to know some answers?"**

"**Yes."**

"**That kiss didn't take us anywhere, Lucas."**

"**What do you mean? Do you think that was a mistake?"**

"**A mistake is something you regretted doing. And kissing you is not something I will **_**ever**_** regret of doing."**

"**Then be with me."**

"**I can't. I'm not laying my heart on the line again, Luke."**

_**It's not always the same  
No it's never the same  
If you don't feel it too.  
If you meet me half way  
If you would meet me half way.  
It could be the same for you.**__**  
**_

"**I don't understand it. You let me in before."**

"**But you didn't let me. Besides, that was a long time ago. Like you said, things changed."**

"**Still not getting it."**

"**You reopened my wounds, Lucas. You pried them open. I thought I recovered from them. Now I realized that I haven't yet. And you doing this is not helping me. Lucas, you had me, then you let me go. Now I'm not sure if you can have me back."**

That was a slap on the face. Having the love of your life say that you can't have her back basically means the end of the world.

_**If you just realized what I just realized  
Then we'd be perfect for each other  
And we'll never find another  
Just realized what I just realized  
We'd never have to wonder  
Just realized what I just realized**_

"**Brooke, do you still love me?"**

"**I love you, Lucas Scott, and I always will. More than you know."**

"**So what now? What am I supposed to do?"**

"**I can't tell you that, Luke. It's your life."**

"**I can't do anything without you."**

"**I'm sure you're going to be just fine. Lucas Scott is going to change the world someday and he doesn't even know it. You always find your way, Lucas. I'll always be here for you."**

"**And you?"**

"**I'm going to busy myself with work. I have a lot of thinking to do, and I believe you need that, too."**

"**And us?"**

"**People who are meant to be together always find their way in the end. Don't you ever forget that, Lucas Scott."**

_**Missed out on each other now  
Missed out on each other now**_

Yes, this day was truly an eventful day for Lucas Scott. Two girls he genuinely loves had just left him. Can a guy's day get any worse?

Brooke was right. I have a lot of thinking to do. But at least I had my moment of clarity. I realized one thing that I should have realized a long time ago..

I love Brooke Davis. I love her. Lucas Scott loves Brooke Davis. Lucas Eugene Scott loves Brooke Penelope Davis. I think there's no other way of putting it. .I'm not letting her get away again. After all the rollercoaster I've had with girls, I am sure I have learned my lesson and it's Brooke who I want to be with. 

Brooke Davis is the one for me, and she'll see it.

_**Realize**_

-------------

**AN: Hi! I know it's been like a year since I last updated! But you'll be seeing more of me since school's out and summer began for me! I have more time to write Brucas stories. I'm still thinking whether I should continue my past stories and completely start over. Anyways, please review! Let me know what you think!**

**And also, I'm a beta- reader now! Yay! LOL! So those who want my services and want me to beta- read their stories, please PM me! I'd be more than willing to be of help!**

**--cheery**


	2. All We Are

(A year later; New York)

_(A year later; New York)_

"**Hello. Yes, Mark. I need a painting for my office. My office looks a tad boring."**

"**Actually, sir---"**

"**Please. Call me Lucas."**

"**Ok, Lucas. Actually, I have a friend. His wife's an artist. I must say, she's amazing. Actually, she just opened a gallery here in New York. You wanna go and look?"**

"**Actually, I was hoping you'd do that for me. I just need something fun and spunky. Something you awaken the office."**

"**Ok, I'll do my best."**

"**Thanks."**

_(An hour later)_

Someone knocked on my office door and I was pleased to see Mark.

"**Do you have my painting?"**

"**Yes, sir. I think I do. This is, I think, the best painting among everything that was in there. And there was something in it that might be just what you need."**

"**Really? What's the name of the painting?"**

"**If I'm not mistaken, it's Brooke."**

Were my ears playing tricks on me? Did Mark just say Brooke? As in **my** Brooke?

"**What?"**

"**The painting's name if Brooke. Whoever Brooke this is, I think she's special."**

"**I believe she is. Can I see it?"**

"**Of course."**

I ripped open the painting and was excited to see how it looks like. True enough, it spits out every image I have of Brooke. It was indeed special. It is so Brooke.

_**I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong  
Black and white didn't fit you  
And all along, you were shaded with patience,**_

_**Your strokes of everything that I need just to make it**_

"**This is perfect, Mark. Make sure you hang it somewhere I can see it all the time. I'll just grab some fresh air."**

I stepped out of my office and walked along the streets of New York. A lot of memories came back to me just by the sight of that painting. Every part of it reminded me of Brooke.

_(flashback)_

"_**Peyton, I need to talk to you."**_

"_**Me too."**_

"_**No. You need to hear this first. I don't love you. I'm over you."**_

"_**What?"**_

"_**I thought I still love you. But I don't."**_

"_**Ok. I was about to say otherwise."**_

"_**I know. That's why I said what I had to say first."**_

"_**But why, Luke? We are perfect for each other. True love always, right?"**_

"_**True love in a brother- sister type of way."**_

"_**Luke! NO! I've suffered enough from not having you these past 4 years! I'm not letting you go again!"**_

"_**Peyton, you have to, ok?! We've been chasing each other around too much to completely miss what fate has put in front of us!"**_

"_**I'm your comet, Lucas. We are meant to be. You know that. I know that."**_

"_**No! I **__**knew**__** that when we were in highschool. I **__**knew**__** that when I proposed to you before. But you certainly did not know that because you turned it down. You didn't believe in what I believed in when I asked you to marry me."**_

"_**I was wrong. I was afraid that if I agreed to marry you, I won't be able to fulfill my dreams. It was a mistake for saying no, Lucas. You have to understand that."**_

"_**I do understand. What I don't understand is I thought we had true love."**_

"_**We did, Lucas. We still do."**_

"_**Then if true love means being willing to sacrifice and give up everything you have for that one person you love, then how will you explain what you did?"**_

"_**I told you it was a mistake."**_

"_**Then I guess we are a mistake, too. I never regret everything I had and have with you, Peyton. Until now. And it was my mistake for asking you to marry me when we aren't completely in the same page."**_

"_**Lucas, you never begged Lindsey to come back with you to the altar after she ran out. All because of me."**_

"_**Who the hell gave you an idea that I did it for you?!"**_

"_**Lucas, you do things like that for me. Who else would you do it for? You save me from everything. You saved me when my heart was about to shatter by not marrying Lindsey."**_

"_**You know what, Peyton, you're selfish."**_

"_**What?"  
**_

"_**You're selfish. You always think of yourself above others. It's always about you, isn't it? You assume things are about and are done for you."**_

"_**No, Lucas! You kissing me at Tric gave me the reassurance that you still love me! You wouldn't do that if you don't love me."**_

"_**No! That kiss was a mistake! Kinda like what you think when I proposed to you. A mistake like what we are living and believing now. And I was conflicted then, ok?! Just as you were conflicted when you rejected me. But I promised myself that I won't be a cheating scumbag with anyone to anyone- more so with you. We're not in highschool anymore, Peyton. I am trying to move on. Everyone is, and so do you. Grow up, Peyton."**_

_We became silent._

_**We'll say our goodbyes you know it's better that way  
We won't break, we won't die  
It's just a moment of change  
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right  
All we need, all we need, our love is at a bind**_

"_**It's Brooke, isn't it?"**_

"_**What?"**_

"_**You love Brooke. You want to be with her. You need her."**_

"_**Huh- what? Where did you get that idea?"**_

"_**Come on, Lucas. You don't have to deny that just so you won't hurt me. The damage is done. You've hurt me. Why not bring on the heartbreak, right?"**_

"_**I'm sorry Peyton. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't realize this until Lindsey walked out on me; until I talked to Brooke."**_

"_**Wait, you talked to her?"**_

"_**Yah, just before I decided to talk to you. She found me at the beach."**_

"_**Everybody was going nuts trying to find you and you didn't even bother to tell us you were down at the beach with Brooke?"**_

"_**I'm sorry. But I had my moment of clarity when Brooke and I talked."**_

"_**Why her, Luke?"**_

_**I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would've fit  
I figured there's nothing to lose  
I need to get some perspective on these words before I write them down  
You're an island and my ship is running ground**_

"_**Because she brought out everything in me in the first place. I was in the darkness and she brought color to it. She's so bubbly and cheery. It's the complete opposite of me, I know. But she's exactly what I need. I brought her so much pain that she didn't deserve and it's been haunting me every time. She's the strongest person that I know, even stronger than me. She is the most patient person that I know. She so selfless and puts everyone above herself. She was there everytime for me, despite of everything we've been through. She taught me how to support myself and not to depend on others too much. I'm lost without her, Peyton. And because…because I can't imagine myself any happier with somebody else except for her."**_

_**And I believe that I could tear you apart but it won't break anything that you are, you are**_

"_**Wow. You must love that much, huh?"**_

"_**You have no idea. I'm glad you and I talked tonight. At least we have closed our chapter and it's exactly what I need."**_

"_**Me too. Honestly, it doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Take care of my bestfriend, Scott. And if you screw with her again---"**_

"_**Don't worry. I won't."**_

"_**You better. Anyways, I'll take off. I have an early flight tomorrow."**_

"_**Where are you going?"**_

"_**Back to L.A. I have to arrange some things for Mia's tour."**_

"_**OK. Take care. Come here, Peyton," **__I said as I hugged her._

"_**We had a good run, Luke."**_

"_**I know. I'll miss you, Sawyer."**_

"_**You too, Scott. Bye."**_

"_**Bye."**_

_That was it. My chapter with Peyton Sawyer is over. For good._

_(end of flashback)_

_**We'll say our goodbyes you know its better that way  
We won't break, we won't die  
It's just a moment of change  
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right  
All we need all we need, our love is at a bind**_

That painting was the very image of what I said to Peyton about Brooke. Ever since, Peyton and I kind of drifted apart. I guess we were both busy with work. Yes, I managed to get back to my writing, all through the help of Brooke Davis. I remember everything she said the day she left Tree Hill.

_(flashback)_

"_**Hales, have you seen Brooke?"**_

"_**She took off. Didn't she tell you?"**_

"_**Apparently, no. Took off to where?"**_

"_**To New York! She asked Millicent to take care of things here in Tree Hill while she's out. You're sure she didn't tell you?"**_

"_**I'm sure. Not even a word."**_

"_**That's odd. She told me she told you already. Check your phone, maybe she left you a message."**_

_I flipped my phone open. There was indeed a voice mail from Brooke._

"_**Hi, Broody. I'm probably at the place right now while you're listening to this. I didn't say goodbye personally 'cause I know it would be hard. It's not yet over, Lucas. Life is not over. It will continue on as long as you live. You just have to keep on living it. I'll always be here for you. Both of us need to find ourselves again; who we were before all of this began. When the time comes that you realize that it is still me who you want to be in your life, then let fate work in us. I love you, Lucas Scott. Bye."**_

"_**I'm sorry, buddy."**_

"_**Hales, I gotta go."**_

_(end of flashback)_

That was the moment I decided to go to New York. I tried looking for her. But she was always in Paris, Rome, or London for a series of fashion weeks. Now I've lost track. But somehow, the atmosphere of New York brought me hope and life. It's as if there is something in here that makes me want to believe again. Good things have come to me here. My inspiration came back as I worked on my third book. My 2 previous books are still a success. But after everything good that has happened, my heart still aches for her.

**Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. **These were her words at Haley's wedding. These words never left my heart because I believe in those words. Brooke and I have been through a lot. We've experienced a whirlwind of events, a multitude of catastrophes, and a bunch of love triangles and squares. We've been there and done that. What amazed me is how she could still love me truly despite of everything. I've hurt her many times, but she still loves me as much. I don't know what I did to deserve her twice. Third time's a charm, they say. But now with me, I guess. With all the hardships I have put Brooke through, I'm not sure if she'll take me back. But I'll take on all the chances. I'm not letting her get away again.

_**And every single day that I can breathe,  
You change my philosophy,  
I'm never gonna let you pass me by**_

"**Lucas Scott?" **a familiar voice asked me. Amidst all of the hustle and bustle here in New York, I knew who said that.

"**Peyton?" **I turned around and saw a beaming blonde coming towards me.

"**Oh my gosh! I didn't expect this."**

"**Me too. It's so good to see you." **I hugged her.

"**Me, too Luke. It's been, what, a year?"**

"**I believe so. What are you doing here in New York? I thought you were in L.A.?"**

"**I let somebody else handle Mia. I just opened a gallery here. I focused on my art. I'm actually here with----- wait, why are you here? Of all the places?"**

I was about to answer when to people screamed our names.

"**PEYTON! What the hell?!" **a woman asked Peyton.

"**LUCAS! What the hell?!" **a voice of a man shouted at me.

"**Jake?!" **I said.

"**Brooke?!" **Peyton said.

"**Brooke?!" **I said, looking behind me. Suddenly, my heart started beating fast.

"**Lucas?" **Brooke whispered.

"**Brooke?!" **Jake and Peyton asked.

"**Jake? Peyton?" **Brooke asked.

"**Ok, stop it! I'm sure all of us know each other. But can someone please tellm me what the hell is going on?!" **I asked in utter bewilderment.

Everyone's faces show as much confusion as I have. Yep, this is becoming an interesting afternoon.

_**We'll say our goodbyes you know its better that way  
We won't break, we won't die  
It's just a moment of change  
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right  
All we need all we need, our love is at a bind**_

**AN: My thank you's to everyone who reviewed that last chapter:**

**--othfan22**- Aren't we all loving the Brooke and Lucas loving? Don't worry. I can guarantee you that this will be a Brucas is endgame in this story. I'll try my best NOT to include the BLP triangle.

**--onetreehillgirl066**- Yes, I am out of school. LOL! March is the last month for school here in the Philippines. It's about time that Lucas fights for her, right? Mark better see that! LOL!

**-- brookenlucas4eva03**- Thank you for the review! I hope you keep tuning in!

**-- evergloweyes**- It's not yet over. I'm planning of adding a lot of chapters. And yes, you will see Lucas trying his very best to win Brooke back in this story. Question is, will he succeed or not? Tune in!

**-- onetreefan**- Yes, there are more chapters to come! Keep reading!

**-- MaDShiPPA**- I absolutely loved your 10 reasons! I swear! I love it so much! You like gave me 10 reasons why you liked my idea! Thank you so much! And I really agree with your reasons! Your review made my day!

**-- AmbroCoo**- I also love the BP friendship this season so don't expect me to let them argue anytime soon. And besides, I have another storyline with Peyton and it includes a new guy! Stay tuned!

**To everyone who read, reviewed, and made me part of their "Alerts," thank you very much! Those little things you do are greatly appreciated! Thank you! Please keep on reading and reviewing! And I recommend listening to the songs I use every chapter cause they're really good!**

_**Song: All We Are by One Republic**_

_**Previous Chapter's Song: Realize by Colbie Caillat**_


	3. Only Fooling Myself

"_**PEYTON! What the hell?!" **__a woman asked Peyton._

"_**LUCAS! What the hell?!" **__a voice of a man shouted at me._

"_**Jake?!" **__I said._

"_**Brooke?!" **__Peyton said._

"_**Brooke?!" **__I said, looking behind me. Suddenly, my heart started beating fast._

"_**Lucas?" **__Brooke whispered._

"_**Brooke?!" **__Jake and Peyton asked._

"_**Jake? Peyton?" **__Brooke asked._

"_**Ok, stop it! I'm sure all of us know each other. But can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?!" **__I asked in utter bewilderment._

_Everyone's faces show as much confusion as I have. Yep, this is becoming an interesting afternoon._

"**Well? Will somebody tell me? Is this a set- up or what?" **Everyone looked at me as if I'm going nuts. Well, I'm not, aren't I?

"**Oh my gosh! B. Davis! I haven't seen you in a year!" **Peyton said as she ran up to Brooke. With everything's that going on, _our_ eyes remain locked with each other. Then Brooke jolted as if snapping out of her thoughts.

_**I stop to catch my breath  
And I stop to catch your eye  
No need to second guess  
That you've been on my mind**_

"**P. Sawyer! I've missed you! What are you doing here?"**

"**Care to explain, Peyton?" **I added.

"**I was just about to get to that. Or, Jake, would you like to tell them?" **Peyton asked Jake. And now all of us are wondering what Jake has got to do with this. He's just as surprised as everyone was.

"**Definitely not. I'm interested how you will explain this whole thing yourself." **Jake answered.

"**Now I definitely want to know. Open your big mouth, Blondie."**

"**Well, like I said to Lucas, I opened a gallery here. And--"**

"**That's great! Wait, are you two together now?" **Brooke asked, motioning to me and Peyton. She looked hurt and anxious as she asked it. As fast as those words slipped from her mouth were her walls building up. Peyton's eyes widened in shock at her question.

"**Ouch. That really hurt, Brooke," **Jake said mockingly.

"**Oh my gosh! You finally got your man, P. Sawyer! Or should I say P. Jagielski?"**

"**You could say that in 6 months. We're engaged!" **Then the two girls went into a squeal-fest again.

"**Is that true, man?" **I asked Jake.

"**Definitely!"**

"**Congratulations! I'm happy for the both of you! Finally!"**

"**P. Sawyer, you should definitely let me make you gown! Please! Please! We'll do something big like **_**Lindsey's**_**, and it will--" **Brooke stopped abruptly. She winced upon realizing what she just said.

"**Who's Lindsey?" **Jake asked, looking oblivious. Peyton nudged him, silently telling him to shut up.

Silence. The kind that makes you uncomfortable. Oh, great! An awkward moment, just what I need right now!

_**I dream days away, but that's okay  
It's like I want to hear a silent sound  
And then hold it in my hand  
But a rose won't blossom from a ground  
Of desert sand, but I like to pretend that**_

Just then, 4 different ringtones filled the air. All of us reached into our pockets as we were brought back to reality.

"**Guys, I hate to do this. I have to go back to the office. I completely forgot about this meeting," **Brooke said.

"**Yah. Jake and I have to get back to the gallery. A client's looking for us, apparently."**

"**We should totally have dinner together. Tonight, perhaps?" **I suggested.

"**Good idea, Luke. I'll make the reservations and give you two the details. Brooke, you in?" **Peyton asked as I crossed my fingers.

"**Not sure. As long as I'm not caught up with work, I'm good."**

"**Just let us know. Anyways, we'll get going. Keep in touch, B. Davis. Nice to see you, Luke." **

"**I've missed you, Goldilocks! Take care, both of you! And you too, Luke," **Brooke said, although she mumbles the last part with no enthusiasm at all.

All of them went their ways. Then I noticed an all- too- familiar handkerchief on the floor.

"**Hey, Brooke! Your left your--" **I said, well, to no one. I guess I'll just have to give it to her tonight. I hope she'll be there. I smelled and inhaled the strawberry scent that only belongs to her. "The" Brooke Davis is definitely crashing into my world again! Not that I don't like it.

_**One day I'll turn around  
I'll see your hand reach out  
I'm only fooling myself, oh  
But maybe when you smile  
It means you'd stay awhile  
Just maybe, you'd save me now  
Save me now**_

I walked back to the office, handkerchief in hand, with all these questions in my head. Why is she ignoring me all of a sudden? Why did she treat everyone so warmly while all I got was a mumble? Did I do something wrong? Why has everything become so awkward between us? This is all giving me a headache.

I opened my office door and was surprised to see Mark pacing around.

"**Lucas! Where were you?"**

"**I was…around. I bumped into my friends in high school. Why?"**

"**Well, John called me and asked me where you were. When I said you were out, he shouted at me. His exact words were "If you don't find that damn Lucas Scott right now and failed me to give a piece of his writing, I'll fry his freakin' ass and make sure he's out of the writing business. I'll blacklist him for life!" He sounded pretty mad, Luke. I'm surprised he didn't have a heart attack."**

I laughed at Mark. My editor, John, can be such a monster sometimes.

"**Don't worry. I'll make sure to tell him you gave the message perfectly and clearly."**

"**So…."**

"**So what?"**

"**How'd it go with your friends?"**

"**It was nice catching up with them. It's been a year and we all have lost contact with each other. I've just learned that Peyton and Jake, my friends, are about to get married."**

"**Wait, those names sound familiar. Oh, wait! I remember! Please don't tell me that Jake Jagielski is the one that you're talking about."**

"**That's him. Why?"**

"**That's the friend I was telling you about this morning! His wife is Peyton, right?"**

"**Just his fiancé. How come you know these people?"**

"**Oh! I thought they were married. They seem so attached to the hip everytime. Anyways, she's the girl from whom I bought the painting."**

"**Wow. The world just keeps on getting smaller, huh? No wonder the painting looks so much like Brooke."**

"**So you mean to tell me that the Brooke in the painting is a real person?"**

"**Yup. I saw her too a while ago."**

"**So, what is she like?"**

"**She still takes my breath away after all these years. Still the most beautiful girl I know."**

"**Oh. I'm smelling love. You like her?"**

_**Well, now it's etched in stone  
That I can't survive alone  
You have the missing piece  
That I need so desperately**_

"**I **_**love**_** her. For a long time."**

"**How come you're not together?"**

"**Long story."**

"**I've got time. And it seems like you're not going to write anytime soon, so spill."**

"**Like I have a choice. So, it all started in high school. She was a cheerleader and I'm an outsider. We actually met when she showed up naked in my car."**

"**You two made out?"**

"**Not really driving there, Mark. Anyways, we started hanging out after, and I saw the real Brooke. She's not the slut everyone thinks of her. She's more of a vulnerable girl. Then I met her bestfriend, Peyton."**

"**The Brooke you know and the Peyton I know are bestfriends?"**

"**Yes. So we kinda cheated on Brooke, and then Brooke found out. We broke up but eventually become friends. By the end of Junior Year, I told her I love her just before she was about to leave for L.A."**

"**What did you do?"**

"**I waited for her the whole summer. Senior Year, we got together. Then a school shooting happened. Peyton was bleeding and we thought she was going to die. Peyton kissed me, thinking that she'll die soon."**

"**That is considered cheating behind Brooke's back, right?"**

"**Sadly, it is. So I kinda let it slip that Peyton and I kissed again and it all went downhill from there. Then--"**

"**Woah, man. Way too much drama for me. I think I'd like to stop there. But one thing I now know, you owe a lot to Brooke."**

"**I know. And this is life's way of making me pay for it."**

"**Anyways, I'll go grab some coffee. Want one?"**

"**I'm good."**

"**See you later, Luke."**

Mark left. I lied on the couch and thought about the lingering questions on my mind about Brooke.

* * *

"_**Victoria, what the hell is the problem this time?"**_

"_**You were supposed to have a meeting earlier. But I took care of it."**_

"_**Whatever. Make sure no one disturbs me in office."**_

"_**Whatever, darling."**_

_I sighed and entered my office. I was surprised to see a tall man by my window._

"_**Excuse me, who let you in here?" **__I asked harshly._

"_**Hey, Brooke." **__He turned around and a small smile appeared on his face. With a smirk, he came towards me._

"_**Who let you in?"**_

"_**Doesn't matter. I have something to tell you."**_

_Before I got to react, his lips were already on mine. The kiss got heated. I've never wanted anything more than this in my entire life. My hands found their way to his hair. His hands were busy unbuttoning my dress. He lifted and carried me to the couch._

"_**I love you, Brooke Davis," **__he murmured as he kissed the spot behind my ear, which he knows I love._

"_**I love you, too."**_

Lucas. I found myself saying his name as I woke up. Was that just a dream? Whew! Thank God it is! But it was too good of a dream.

I looked at my watch and saw that it's already 8: 30 PM! I am 30 minutes late to our dinner. I hurriedly grabbed my bag and dashed out the door, not even bothering to fix my make- up.

_**Yes, I slip away to a day that'll never come  
It's like a splash of water to my face  
When I suddenly realize  
That you could never find a place  
For me in your eyes, and I don't know why I keep thinking**_

* * *

"_**Brooke, what are you doing here in my office? How do you even know I work here?"**_

"_**I don't know. My feet led me here."**_

"_**So what's up?"**_

"_**I love you."**_

"_**What?"**_

"_**I love you. I don't know. I just had to say it."**_

"_**I love you, too, Pretty Girl."**_

_I kissed her like I haven't in a million years. Just when things are heating up, she pulled away. She smiled sweetly at me._

"_**What?" **__I asked._

"_**Mia's on tour today."**_

"_**What are you talking about?"**_

_**One day I'll turn around  
I'll see your hand reach out  
I'm only fooling myself, oh  
But maybe when you smile  
It means you'd stay awhile  
Just maybe, you'd save me now  
Save me now**_

Suddenly the though vanished and all I saw was Peyton's hand frantically waving in front of me.

"**Hello! Earth to Lucas!"  
**

"**Huh? Oh, sorry, guys."**

"**Dude, you just zoned out on us for, like, 30 minutes. We were talking about Mia's tour and you suddenly went blank." **Jake said.

"**Sorry, just stressed from all the writing."**

"**More like from the lack of it," **Peyton teased.

"**Hey! I'm making progress, for your information. Anyways, where's Brooke?"**

"**You mean, your girlfriend?" **Jake asked mockingly.

"**Very funny, Jake. But, seriously, where is she?"**

"**Luke, like you don't know her! That girl takes forever to get ready! What's up with you two anyway?"**

"**What do you mean? We're friends." **I gulped my drink at my sudden feeling of nervousness. Now I was totally caught off- guard!

"**Yeah, right! Let me rephrase the question. I think it's better to ask what's with all the sexual tension."**

"**Peyton, trust me, I don't know what you're saying."**

"**Man, listen to me. Number one, we're not too blind to see those stares between the two of you. Number two, we're not dense to feel the tensions which I cannot cut with a knife. And number three, we're not deaf to hear how much you want to say 'I love you' to each other," **Jake said.

"**Nice theories, Jake. But not gonna happen soon, I'm afraid."**

"**Luke, if this helps, I think Brooke still loves you," **Peyton said.

"**Thanks for the concern, guys. I think I'll just freshen up a bit."**

* * *

Peyton's gonna kill me! She probably thinks I haven't changed! Thank God I'm here already! I hurriedly went to their table. I haven't seen Lucas yet. That's a good sign!

"**Peyton, I'm sorry I'm late. I'll just pop in the powder room and fix myself. Be back in a minute," **I said quickly and headed to the powder room.

Ok, Lucas Scott, what is seriously up with you? First off, you daydream about Brooke Davis making out with you in your office. Peyton almost caught you! But, focus! You can face Brooke Davis! Just forget that stupid daydream about her and keep your cool and act normal.

This is pathetic! Since when do I talk to myself in front of the mirror? How can I keep my cool when she always attracts my attention? Whatever, ok?! I'll just go out there and act as normal as possible.

I breathed deeply. I can do this. I opened the door and suddenly, Lucas Scott was gone. The torture has just begun. And how's that for keeping you cool?

_**It's love in disguise  
I've lost track of time  
I'm lost in your eyes  
And I don't know why I think that**_

* * *

Make- up? Check. Hair? Check. Dress? Check. Brooke Davis? Brooke Davis? Nope, Brooke Davis is no where to be found.

What's happening with me? I'm Brooke freakin' Davis! I'm never nervous, especially not because of a guy! Ok, here's what I'll do. Go out there. Sit as far from Lucas as possible. Chat with Peyton. Forget about your dream about Lucas. Forget that you were making out with him in your dream. Forget about how hot he was in your dream. Forget about how you wish you could do that again for real, this time--wait, forget about it! Ignore him. Have eye- sex with Lucas. Wait, no! That's not part of the plan! Urrgghh! I'll just go out there and hope the night goes Lucas- free. Wish me well, Brooke Davis.

Or…not. I just opened the door and found myself drowning into two gorgeous pools of blue eyes.

"**Lucas."**

_**One day I'll turn around  
I'll see your hand reach out  
I'm only fooling myself, oh  
But maybe when you smile  
It means you'd stay awhile  
Just maybe you'd save me now  
Save me now  
Just maybe you'd save me now**_

* * *

**AN: Sorry it took me a while to update! But here it is! Please review!**

**othfan326:** Thanks for the review! I'm really sorry for not putting some enough Brucas. This chapter has some, though. But the next one's gonna fill you with all the Brucas you need. LOL!

**onetreefan:** Yes, they were still hugging or at least in each other's arms. That's why Brooke and Jake had their "what-the-hell" reactions! All things are cleared up in this chapter! Enjoy reading!

Thanks to those who read. By the way, I beta- read and I'm looking for stories to beta- read. Let me know if you're interested! Thanks!

_**Song: Only Fooling Myself by Kate Voegele**_

**--cheery**

* * *

**Just so you guys know, I'll not be updating if the reviews don't reach 20- or at least to the number which I think is fair enough. I know it's too much to ask but your reviews are my inspiration. So please review and ask others to review my story too! Thanks! Sorry if I sound demanding, I don't mean to. :)  
**


	4. Wish You Were Here

It was a moment when the world stopped for us; when nothing else matters; when everything else can wait; when, aside from this, everything else is a peculiarity; when all that is important right now is us, or love

_**Gone away are the golden days  
Just a page in my diary  
So here I am, a utopian citizen  
Still convinced there's no such thing as idealism**_

It was a moment when the world stopped for us; when nothing else matters; when everything else can wait; when, aside from this, everything else is a peculiarity; when all that is important right now is _**us**_, or love.

Time literally stood still. We were just staring at each other, trying to see what's going on in each other's heads. Not only did time stand still, but it also take us back to a lot of memories, they happy and the bittersweet. Memories came flooding like crazy, and, for a moment, I thought I was going to explode, and go nuts. But I have done that already- my head has already exploded when Brooke Davis left me heartbroken; I have gone nuts and crazy when I met Brooke Davis and fell in love with her. Only Brooke Davis can make that happen to me.

* * *

"_**Tell me that was a goodbye kiss."**_

"_I wanna be with you, Brooke." _

"_**What?" **_

"_I'm sorry. I know we're friends…it's just how I feel." _

"_**What about Peyton's stuff?" **_

"_I keep that stuff as a reminder of how badly I screwed up things. With you. To remind myself, if I ever get a second chance, I'd never let you go again."_

* * *

"_**I'm the guy for you. I know we're just part time and that's cool, do whatever, have your fun. But one of these nights you're going to realize it...I'm the guy for you Brooke Davis. You'll see."**_

* * *

_"What I wanted? I wanted you to fight for me. I want you to say that there's no one else that you could ever be with, that you'd rather be alone than without me. I wanted the Lucas Scott from the beach that night telling the whole world that he's the one for me."_

* * *

"_There are 82 letters in here, and they're all addressed to you. I wrote them all this summer. One a day, but I never sent them 'cause I was afraid."_

"_**Brooke..."**_

"_I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, like before.' Cause you hurt me so bad, and I was afraid to be vulnerable. And I was afraid of you and the way that you make me feel. And I know that doesn't matter now after what I did, but I just thought that you should know. This was how I spent my summer, Luke, wanting you... I'm just too scared to admit it."_

"_**Brooke! I'm sorry! What you did with Chris... it's okay."**_

"_It's not. It can't be. It's too much to forgive!"_

"_**Well, that's too bad because I forgive you."**_

"_You can't!"_

"_**I just did. So you're gonna just have to deal with it. I'm the guy for you Brooke Davis, and I know I hurt you last time we're together, but..."**_

"_I love you."_

"_**I love you, too, Pretty Girl."**_

* * *

"_**This is my world Brooke. Or at least it used to be."**_

"_I have been here before, you know."_

"_**I know but I just never told you what this place is to me. It's not just a court, it's where I came from it's where I belong. It's my world."**_

"_So do I get to be part of this world?"_

"_**The biggest part."**_

* * *

"_**We just have to trust each other this time."**_

* * *

"_**Know what I think? I think you're trying to sabotage us. Find any reason you can end it. So that you don't have to worry about getting hurt again."**_

"_But the same words, Lucas? The exact same words?!"_

"_**I never sent that letter to Peyton"**_

"_And I never sent my letters to you either but they still meant something! Just tell me, why me this time. Why not Peyton?"_

"_**I can't say anything bad about Peyton. She's my friend, and she's your best friend!"**_

"_That's OK; you can say bad things about her."_

"_**Oh, Brooke. The truth is, I care about Peyton."**_

"_Then what is the difference?"_

"_**The difference... The difference is I love you, Brooke. I wanna be with you, not Peyton."**_

"_But why? I need to know why."_

"_**Because you kink your eyebrow when your trying to be cute. And you quote Keimoo, even though I've never actually seen you read. And because, you miss your parents, but you'll never ever admit that. And because I've given exactly two of these embarrassing speeches in my entire life, and they've both been with you. I mean, that's gotta mean something right? And because we're both gonna get pneumonia, but if you need to hear why I love you, I can go on all night.**_

"_You did pretty good. "_

* * *

"_I wish that it was me. I know that's horrible and I know that's selfish but I watched you rescue Peyton and you told me you rescued Dan and sometimes I just wish you could rescue me."_

"_**From what?"**_

"_From all of it."_

"_**Okay then. I will. If you promise to rescue me back."**_

"_I promise."_

* * *

"_**Look Brooke, I need you to listen to me, ok, I understand that you didn't know about the kiss, and I'm sorry for springing it on you, but I meant what I said. It didn't mean anything."**_

"_A kiss always means something."_

"_**Ok, well, maybe you're right. But it wasn't a romantic moment. And you would know that if.."**_

"_If what I was there?! As you so sweetly pointed out, at the party, the party that I threw for you, I wasn't there, was I??"_

"_**Is it impossible, for you to forgive me?? I forgave you."**_

"_For what?"_

"_**For sleeping with Chris Keller."**_

"_And you know what Lucas, I loved you for that. You had such grace in that moment that I fell in love with you all over again. I can't believe that you would use it now as a bargaining chip."_

"_**No, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I just..I need you to trust me, and believe me when I tell you that my heart is with you. A part of me feels like ever since we got back together, you've just been waiting, waiting to push me away."**_

"_Oh..great, you kiss Peyton, again, and I'm pushing you away! God! Why did I make everybody identical purses as wedding gifts!"_

"_**I love you Brooke, I don't know how else to say it."**_

"_How about how you show it?? I am not pushing you away Lucas, I am holding on for dear life! But I need you to need me back! Why wouldn't you tell me about the kiss and why wouldn't you call me while you were away and why won't you ever just let me all the way in?"_

* * *

"_Listen, I know it's been difficult for you lately, losing Keith and your heart condition and giving up basketball. I feel like I've been keeping you close to me to try to protect you from those things. Like I'm hanging onto the two of us for you, but not for me."_

"_**I'm sorry I kissed Peyton. I should have told you."**_

"_It's not about that Luke. It's not, I mean I thought that it was, but this is not about her. This is about me. I love you Lucas, and I probably always will, but we go days without having a meaningful conversation. And I used to miss you so much when that happened but it never seemed like you missed me. And I guess because of it I stopped missing you. I mean look at today, there was a horrible accident and you haven't even called me...it shouldn't be like this, Luke. I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore."_

"_**Brooke, I'm sorry."**_

"_Yeah, me too."_

* * *

_**Memories they're following me like a shadow now  
And I'm dreaming  
And I've already suffered the fever of disbelief**_

"**Excuse me, Mister." But I really need to use the bathroom. You're blocking the door," **a tiny voice of a boy broke my train of thoughts and snapped me back to reality. I looked down and saw a face of pleading.

"**Oh. Sorry, buddy," **I said as I moved out.

I looked up and saw that she's gone. Again. Damn! That girl could move fast! I sighed. Things are never going to be the same, are they?

I slowly walked back to the table, wondering how this night would turn out.

"**I'm sorry, Luke. Someone called from the gallery. Apparently, they need me for some emergency. I'm really sorry for this. I did want to have dinner with you, guys."**

"**It's ok, Peyt."**

"**I'm really sorry. I promise we'll reschedule, ok? I'll call you two later. Bye."**

Ok, this is uncomfortable. Brooke was drumming her fingernails on the table, looking around the restaurant. I let out a breath I was unconsciously holding. Now, this is way too uncomfortable. Almost unbearable.

"**You wanna get out?"**I nervously asked. Brooke looked at me as if I was crazy.

"**You're kidding, right?"**

"**Oh, no! I don't mean it 'that' way. What I mean was, do you want to get out of this place? As in, like, leave?"  
**

She didn't say anything. Instead, she grabbed her things. She agrees?

"**Is that a yes?" **I asked with all confusion.

She just kept on walking. Oh, she's going to leave me here! But she immediately halted.

"**Shoot!" **she cursed out loud.

"**What is it?"**

"**I forgot to ask my driver to pick me up."**

"**It's good I brought my car with me, then. Shall we?" **I asked coyly, walking past her.

"**As if I have a choice." **She muttered.

We're in for a long night.

"**Well? Where's your car?" **she demanded.

"**I lied. I don't have one with me right now. I left it by the office. I just said that so that you will come with me."**

"**You haven't changed, Lucas Scott! Still the lying scumbag that I know!" **she said as she began to walk again. Her heels were click- clacking opposite of my direction.

"**I just want to talk."**

"**Please," **I said, pleading to her.

"**What for, Lucas?! Huh?! What the hell for?!"**

"**I don't get why you're angry at me when all I want to do these freakin' years is to talk and get things straight. Please, let's just talk."**

"**Ok," **she said raspily.

I jogged up to her and we started walking together.

"**So how are you, Brooke Davis?"**

"**I'm good, really good. The clothing line is doing well, actually. We're expanding, and it's everything how I imagined it to be."**

"**I can't believe someone at the age of 23 have already gotten what she dreamed of and wanted." **

"**That's what you think, Luke. It's not everything."**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**Never mind. How about you? How's the writing going?"**

"**The two books are still on the market, thank God! But this next one, I'm not so sure that it will get published soon."**

"**Why? What's the problem?"**

"**Well, I just don't feel it, you know? The inspiration, it's not there anymore. I don't mean to brag, but I usually do not run out of words and images in my head whenever I write. Truth be told, I'm not sure if I'm still **_**that**_** passionate when it comes to writing."**

"**Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find your passion back."**

"**The same way you'll find what you're looking for, right?"**

"**I guess."**

Once again, silence and awkwardness filled the air.

_**I've seen your act  
And I know all the facts  
I'm still in love with who I wish you were  
It ain't hard to see  
Who you are underneath  
I'm still in love with who I wish you were  
And I wish you were here**_

"**Brooke--"**

"**Lucas, don't even go there!"**

"**What do you expect me to do, Brooke? Forget all about, pretend it didn't happen, and just move on?!"**

"**Yes, that is what I want you to do exactly."**

"**Well, I'm not gonna do that."**

"**Lucas, what are these things you're talking about, anyway? We were way done even before you met Lindsey. You made that perfectly clear."**

"**How about that night at the beach? Don't even tell me it didn't mean anything to you."**

"**It didn't. That night was a mistake. All of it was a mistake."**

"**It's not, ok?! It was actually the night my hope was restored- for **_**us**_

"**What 'us' are you talking about? There is no 'us!' there wasn't and there will never be! Everything we did and happened was just a mistake and was a product of our childish thinking."**

"**I have made too much mistakes in my life to learn from them and believe that everything that happened between us is not a mistake. Too much mistakes had happened when we were together, but the whole of it is not."**

"**It is! You made it like that!"**

"**But you said a mistake is something you regret doing. And I most certainly do NOT regret loving you. If anything, that is the most fulfilling thing that has happened to me."**

"**But I do regret it, all of it."**

"**You do not mean that."**

"**You made me mean it. You made me regret it because all you gave was heartbreak and pain."**

_**I was true as the sky is blue  
I couldn't soon say the same for you  
So now I find denial in my eyes  
I'm mesmerized by the picture that's in my mind**_

"**Brooke, don't throw that back at me again. I told you I'm sorry. Don't you know how much that picture of you so broken- hearted haunts me every time? But you told me that you got over it."**

"**And you actually believed it?! Don't you know it broke my heart to make a wedding gown for the future Mrs. Lucas Scott and knowing that it's not me? Do you know how it feels when the person you love didn't fight for you like he said he would?"**

"**I thought you were ok with it."**

"**That's the problem! You 'thought!' You just 'thought!' but you never really found out. The Lucas Scott I know would've done just that!"**

"**I tried talking to you. But you never said anything."**

"**I thought you knew me. You used to know when I have a problem or when I'm not saying things to you. You used to do everything you can just to get those bothering thoughts out of my heads. But you didn't- at least during that time."**

"**You hid inside your walls, Brooke. How am I supposed to let myself in when you won't open your heart to me?"**

"**I did let you in! Don't you dare say I didn't! you're the one who didn't let me in! I gave my promise to let you all the way in and I kept it! It was you who didn't."**

"**I was afraid, ok?!"**

"**I was freakin' afraid! Hell, I was terrified! But I went for it, didn't I? You promised you won't break my heart, and yet you did! You just can't stop breaking promises, can you? What the hell happened to the Lucas Scott I know?!"**

"**Nothing. I'm still that Lucas Scott."**

_**Tell me when I'll finally see your shallow heart  
For what it is  
Cause I don't want to keep on believing in illusions**_

"**Right; the Lucas Scott who promised me that he'd save me from all of it but didn't. You're damn right that you are still that Lucas Scott!"**

"**Brooke, why are you telling me this now? I thought we were ok when we talked at the beach. Why did you become distant all of a sudden? What did I do wrong? We've barely seen each other in a year but you make it seem I made it hell for you. You know what, I came here hoping to find answers. Don't you think I deserve it?"**

"**You deserve it, you're just not worth it."**

"**And why not? You owe it to me."**

"**The nerve! You even have the nerve to tell me I owe you that?! Oh, no, no, no, no, no! You definitely have changed!"**

"**Why won't you just answer all my questions so we can get it over and done with?"**

_**Sometimes I can't explain  
And I'm so sorry that I can't  
I'll try to concentrate  
On your true identity**_

"**You want answers? Huh?! Fine, I'll give them! So where do you want to start? Hmmm…let's see. How about when I broke up with you in Senior Year? You wanna know why I did that? Because you were not worthy of my love! I gave you everything I could but you took those for granted. It seemed like you never were happy with me. You didn't even open up to me! Peyton said she loves you right before Haley's wedding. And I gave you to her, hoping that it will make you happy. I was right, it did make you happy! But why did I even have second thoughts on whether I should give you up to her or not?! That's Peyton! Your Peyton! Do you know how much that hurt? I felt so alone and vulnerable. I've been with guys in hopes of forgetting you! But I can't! for some unknown reason, your face just sticks to my head every damn time! I worked my ass off just to get my heart out of the gutter. But that carriage ride in New York just gave me a vision of what kind of life I want to have- with you. But then you chose Lindsey. Jumping on your bed and seeing her on it instead of you made me wish that I was her. I wished I was everything of her and Peyton. You seemed to love them to death and I feel like I wasn't. And now you're asking why I'm being distant? To be honest, I am afraid of getting close to you, falling in love with you, and ending up heartbroken. There are your answers, Lucas. I'm done!"**

"**I--"**

"**Save it. I'm done with your apologies. I gave you what you want. But, in every human way possible, you are not worth it, at all! The Lucas Scott I love is not who's in front of me right now. The Lucas Scott I love promised to fight for me and save me from all of it. What are you doing now?"**

I stood there gobsmacked and speechless. For a writer like me, speechless should never be in our vocabulary, but it is. I was too stunned to process everything that's been happening.

Yes, only Brooke Davis can make me nuts, crazy, and speechless all at the same time.

_**I've seen your act  
And I know all the facts  
I'm still in love with who I wish you were  
It ain't hard to see  
Who you are underneath  
I'm still in love with who I wish you were  
And I wish you were here**_

* * *

**AN: HI! I haven't updated in, like, forever! LOL! Thanks for those who reviewed:**

**onetreefan- **Thank you for constantly reading! I love your reviews!

**bella-** Brucas is truly funny! Here's a different side of Brucas!

**brookenlucas4eva03- **Thank you for the review!

**And to the many others, thanks a lot! And those who put me and my story on their alerts, thanks to all of you too!**

**Hope you enjoy this one!**

**--cheery**


	5. Kindly Unspoken

"Brooke, this is Lucas

"_**Brooke, this is Lucas. I can't sleep without thinking about everything you told me. I'm really bothered. And I want to talk to you…again. Please. This will be the last time. Please call me back."**_

"_**Lucas, here. I see that you haven't gotten my first message yet. Let's talk, please. **_

_**When you said you love me, I just knew I had to clear that up. Did you mean it? Please, please call back."**_

"_**Brooke, hi. It's me again. Hope you get this sooner."**_

"_**Brooke…"**_

"_**Please…"**_

"_**sigh"**_

"_**I love you. I still do."**_

_**As high as the moon  
So high were my spirits  
When you sang out my name**_

I lied on my bed, listening to what seemed like an endless number of messages from Lucas. It had been just minutes since we got into that heated argument, and he's already been calling me non- stop.

His voice- full of desperation and pleading- was like music to my ears. I closed my eyes hoping to lose consciousness soon and drift off to sleep. I will sleep hoping that tomorrow will be a better day and that it will be the sun on the sky tomorrow, and not the clouds I am dreading to see.

* * *

Indeed the sun was shining when I woke up. I stretched my arms above my head and I was forced to smile. But that smile quickly faltered when last night's events came rushing into my head again. I was worried that anytime today I could see the face of the boy who can make my walls build up, but can break them down eventually' the boy who could break my heart, but can put the pieces back together; the boy I would have lost all my dreams for' the boy I could never fail to love no matter how hard I tell myself that.

But after all these years, Lucas Scott never learned to fight for the woman he loves. And for a writer like him, he sure cannot come up with the right words to say. It's like he gets tongue- tied every time things catch him off- guard. He runs away from his problems, and will brood. Yes, he still broods. Even up to now, he still has that quality. He wrinkles his forehead and gets lost within his thoughts. But he doesn't speak. He doesn't tell you what he's thinking of. It's up to you to conclude and interpret things. That's Lucas Scott for you- his silence speaks so much more than the words he can actually tell.

_**And coming from you  
It was enough just to hear it  
Oh, it rang like the bells did today**_

You wouldn't believe that of an author who has successfully sold two hit books- about the _**loves**_ of his life. He left us- Peyton, Lindsey, and I- hanging with his answers. It is hard to believe that he has actually written them down in two 250- paged or so books. The answers we've all been waiting for will just be put in a hard cover, consisting of hundreds of pages with thousands of words. Is it hard to just say those words right in front of our faces rather than publishing it into a book and having the whole world read it? Apparently, it is hard for him.

The night after the unfortunate accident during Haley and Nathan's wedding. That was the night when I broke up with him; the night when I made the biggest mistake of my life. That night, when I said I couldn't do 'us' anymore, I was hoping that he'll fight for our relationship and say that he didn't want us to break up. Instead, all he said was he's sorry. Out of all the words that exist in Webster's dictionary, that's all he said. He's sorry.

_**But even the sturdiest ground  
Can shift and can tremble and let us fall down**_

The night after the banquet. It was the night that Lucas and I decided that we are better off as friends. Most couples who have broken up badly would have not returned to this stage. But we did. At the same time, I was wishing that that will be that start of 'us' again. So much for that wish because that was the night Peyton said she's in love with the boy whom I am secretly in love with, too. It was a make- or- break moment for the three us. Either he says he still loves me, or he'll say the same words back to Peyton and they'll live happily ever after. But all he said, "Oh." A word that ignited a lot of questions and anxiety for a girl, but sparked the hope of another. Nevertheless, Lucas Scott was out of words- yet again- at that time, and he was still the boy I hoped to fight for me.

The day of Lucas Scott and Lindsey Strauss' wedding. It was a day wherein the future of one girl will be set and made; but a day wherein two wounded hearts are surely to break into a million pieces. But then the inevitable things happened. The girl who was now part of our "love square" ran out of the church and left a conflicted and distraught Lucas Scott behind. We were shifted into the triangle again. It was a moment where I could shout my hurrah; but something told me it's not yet time to do just that as I have to comfort a broken- hearted Lucas Scott. Unlike the other times, Lucas wasn't able to say anything- at all. He was too stunned to speak. And that was worse. How could the girl he was seconds away from marrying believe that he still wanted to be with her forever when he didn't even say anything to stop her and didn't immediately run after her? To all the heartbroken girls out there, meet Lucas Scott, a boy of mystery and incredibility.

_**Kindly unspoken  
You show your emotion  
And silence speaks louder than words  
It's lucky I'm clever  
If I didn't know better  
I'd believe only that which I'd heard**_

I laughed to myself. It's just the morning here in sunny New York and I'm already thinking about the boy who could put the clouds over my sun. I sighed and lazily walked to the front door to get the morning paper. Not only was I greeted by the newspaper, but a bouquet of flowers, as well. I know of only one person who could be responsible for this. The more I keep on thinking about him, the more invisible my sun becomes. Now why does my gut tell me I'm for a lot of surprises today?

* * *

_**In the days of my folly  
I followed your lead  
Did what Simon said to do**_

I left Brooke a million messages but she still hasn't replied to any of it. That girl is really something else. I did everything she wanted me to do even when we were just in high school- not that I'm complaining, because I'd do anything for her. I just don't get it. She wanted me to fool around with her during class hours, and I did. She let me have a tattoo even thought it was against Keith's rules. I did her speech for the Student Council election because she asked me to. I went along with her stupid "non- exclusive" crap just to get her to believe me again. She asked me to fight for her, and I did. She needed the reasons why I love her to death, and I gave her that. I agreed to just be friends with her, though I didn't get it. She told to me pursue Peyton and I did that because I was doing it all for her. I only failed to do three things- to prove her how much I love her, to save her, and to stay away from her.

She really didn't expect me to stay away from her, did she?

But, nevertheless, I did almost everything she asked me to, didn't I?

_**But I won't let melancholy  
Play me for a fool  
Oh, no I'm on my way somewhere new**_

That was a long time ago. I have given up wallowing in self- pity and sadness when I could do so much better. I've hurt too much that it's just time to move on. It's time to show Brooke that I really do love her. No confusion, no hesitation, and no more regrets. This time, she would actually have to say something before I can let her go. I'm fed up with her sudden departures, leaving me with all these questions with no one to ask, except myself. The word "goodbye" didn't even suffice all the things I've been longing to hear and to be answered. But that's not going to happen now. I'm going to get her back.

_**And as far as your lack of something to say  
Well, to tell me goodbye there was no better way**_

* * *

_**Kindly unspoken  
You show your emotion  
And silence speaks louder than words  
It's lucky I'm clever  
If I didn't know better  
I'd believe only that which I'd heard**_

"**Ms. Davis, someone is here for you. A friend from your hometown, I think. I asked the person to wait inside your office. Is that ok?" **my New York assistant informed me. I immediately thought of Peyton. What is she doing here?

"**Peyton, what are you--"**

"**Hi."**

"**Hi? What are you doing here, Lucas?"**

"**I just want to talk, I promise. Last night didn't turn out great as planned. But you still have things that need to be cleared up."**

"**Ok," **I said simply.

"**Ok, what?"**

"**Go talk."**

According to the dictionary, the word "talk" means to communicate by the use pf speech. Has Lucas completely redefined that word? Oh, no. He's going mute again.

_**So don't keep me up till the dawn  
With words that'll keep leading me on  
I know much better than to wait for an answer from you**_

"**Well? Lucas, we ain't have all day for this. If you think that a million messages and a bouquet of flowers would speak for you, then you're wrong. You need to speak up! But if it's another batch of your stupid lies and rants, don't bother. Your words have a way of tricking me into believing things which aren't true. You're a bunch of crap, Lucas. You know what? I think--"**

"**I still love you."**

"**--you should--what?"**

"**I still love you. After all these years, it's still you. This is not a lie or a rant to lead you to thinking I'm lying to you again. It's the truth- the plain truth."**

"**What the hell are you talking about?!"**

"**I still love you, Brooke Davis. Do you love me back?"**

My jaw literally dropped to the floor at his question. I thought that the whole "mute- and- cannot- speak" was Lucas' thing. Apparently, the disease just bit me hard right on the ass.

The spotlight's on me now. The ball is in my court.

So, Brooke Davis, what's it gonna be? Sink or swim? Make it or break it?

_**Kindly unspoken  
You show your emotion  
And silence speaks louder than words  
It's lucky I'm clever  
If I didn't know better  
I'd believe only that which I'd heard**_

* * *

**AN: So what do you think, people? Will Brooke say yes or no? We'll have to find out in the next chapter! Please review!**

**Brucas True Love- **thanks for the review! Keep reading!

**brookenlucas4eva03- **thanks for the review! Enjoy this one!

**bella- **thanks for the awesome review! Yah, I put a lot of heart into that chapter, especially on Brooke. This one, though, is more of a description, less dialogue. Hop you'll like it!

**onetreefan- **thanks for constantly reviewing! And I might just pick up your idea. Poor Brucas, right? LOL! Well, that's drama! Luke will definitely fight for her this time!

**gilmoregrly4life- **thanks for finding my story cute! Please review!

**Kristin1416, gilmoregrly4life, copperboom321, M190192, tifa1984- **thanks for putting me on your alerts and favorites! Please do drop a review sometime! Thanks!

_**Song: Kindly Unspoken by Kate Voegele (she's an addiction!)**_

_**Previous Chapter Song: Wish You Were Here by Kate Voegele**_

**--cheery**


	6. Look After You

"_**I still love you, Brooke Davis. Do you love me back?"**_

_**If I don't say this now I will surely break  
As I'm leaving the one I want to take  
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait  
My heart has started to separate**_

The question caught me off- guard. I paced around my office. My heart seemed to pound at all the wrong places. My breath became short. I was sure I was hyperventilating. It's like the walls of my office are closing in on us. My mind started to race rapidly. A million thoughts came rushing in to my heard. My knees started to wobble beneath me as I held on to the post to support myself. I started to shake vigorously as I found it hard to control my emotions. My eyes became bleary as they welled up with tears. For a moment, I was sure I was close to dying- emotionally speaking, of course. I closed to stop the tears from flowing. Why am I reacting like this? Isn't this what I wanted? To hear him say out loud that he loves me? Most girls would've done everything in their power just to hear the person they love say they love them back. But why aren't I rejoicing? This should be a moment of happiness! I thought this was just a nightmare, like the one that keeps on haunting me every damn night. It's ok, once I open my eyes, I'll be awake and all this would be over. I opened my eyes, hoping to see myself in my bedroom, but I'm not. His face is still there right in front of me, full of sorrow and agony. It mirrored exactly what my face is showing right now. He closed his eyes and brushed off his tears, too.

"**Brooke, I need to know." **His voice is choking now.

"**Lucas…" **I breathed out. I'm not sure if I even have the strength to speak.

"**Please…" **He pleaded.

"**It's not as easy as you think it is." **I whispered. We're talking in soft and low voices, each one choking and breaking.

"**It's just a yes or a no."**

"**Lucas, you just can't come in here and ambush me."**

"**Aren't these years enough for you to come up with an answer?"**

"**Frankly, no. Circumstances just happen and I lose it sometimes. Now I don't know. I haven't known the real answer to your question."**

"**You know that saying yes will be the best. You're making this hard for me."**

_**Oh, oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
I'll look after you**_

"**You're making this hard, too! You don't know how much my heart is telling me to say, wait scratch that; I want to scream yes! But something's holding me back. I can't voice out what it's telling me. You can't just waltz in here and ask me that. You're not in the position."**

"**I am in the damn position! Damn it! I just found the urgency to ask that. I just have to know if all this is still worth fighting for."**

"**You're…are you…you mean to say…you're giving up?" **The words barely escaped from my lips. I couldn't stand the though.

"**You left me with no choice."**

"**There is always a choice, Lucas! What is this?! An ultimatum? This is so frustrating! You're frustrating!"**

"**I know, ok?! But this is the choice I'm making. If an ultimatum is the only thing that can make you decide if we should end this now or not, then this is an ultimatum. Brooke, I'm not the only one. You made a choice like this when you left me."**

"**I had another choice them! Either I risk myself and my heart, or I make my dreams come true. I chose the one which gave me more chances of living."**

"**By what? By choosing the latter?!"**

"**I had to! I was hurt- and am hurting- too much to believe I have to choose what my head was telling me, not what my heart was. I owe it to myself to be happy for once, though I know it is a lie."**

"**You still had that other choice."**

"**You didn't show any sign that you were with me with that other choice. You're the boy I would have lost everything- my dreams, my mind, my future, my soul, and my heart- for. But you weren't that Lucas Scott when I had to choose. We weren't on the same page. You were somewhere else, far, far away."**

"**I was hurting."**

"**I was, too. But I had that risk either to take or not. I chose not to- not after everything."**

"**But I'll be with you. You, of all people, should know that!"**

_**There now, steady love, so few come and don't go  
Will you won't you, be the one I always know  
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around  
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down**_**  
**

"**You were emotionally not there, Lucas. How the hell am I supposed to go through it alone?!"**

"**If you would have loved me, then you would still take that risk."**

"**It was not a question whether I loved you or not. You know very well the answer to that. It was a question whether I'll be happy or not. I'm the on who only gives everything every time. I'm also the one who takes and suffers all the consequences of all the mistakes- mistakes you made but I had to take the blame for. You built a hole in my heart where every consequence hit. It's gotten bigger and deeper that I'm not sure if it still can be repaired."**

"**You could have told me that earlier."**

"**Right! To someone whose mind was in utter confusion and unconsciousness. How could you have helped me then? What could you have done to ease the pain?"**

"**I'm sorry. I didn't know."**

"**You're sorry, again?! I'm tired of hearing those from you! Is there any other else you could tell me? And yes, you didn't know because I didn't tell you. Should that be my fault? You were lost in your own world of problems that you have completely forgotten all about me."**

"**I said I'm sorry, ok?!"**

"**Thank God! Now you're feeling the pain I have been feeling all this time! Well, why don't we give you some more?! Just to give you an idea- a tincy, wincy one- what the hell I have gone through! Do you realize the pain of being called names? Slut, bitch, whore, hoe, cheater- name it! It's filed under my biodata! You don't have any idea how much it feels to get cheated on! You don't --"**

I broke down completely. I sat on one chair and just cried uncontrollably.

_**Oh, oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
I'll look after you**_

"**Brooke--" **I found the voice to object as I found him coming near me.

"**Don't you dare come near me! You don't have any idea, do you? How about the party Rachel and I threw for you to ease the pain on Keith's death? Wonder how it felt to have your boyfriend zone out on you and block you from his walls?! Or how about your friends see us bicker over something you were so shallow about? You don't have any idea how humiliated I was! Do you feel the pain on having to live and survive alone? You weren't there, Luke, you just drifted away. I have to live everyday and pretend everything's ok when I know it isn't. You just had to make it worse, didn't you? You just had to bring on the heartbreak by kissing Peyton! What do you think did I just feel? I felt betrayed! I felt freaking betrayed! You promised, Luke! You gave me your word!"**

"**I know."**

"**You know?! That's all?! Then why the hell did you still do it? Are just plain stupid? Did I do anything to you to deserve that?"**

"**No, you're right. I--"**

"**Shut up! You let me finish! I just had to get it all off my chest! Do you even have the slightest idea what I'm talking about? You meant everything to me, Lucas! You were my world! You were my everything! You were like this sun that kept me living! But you just have to put out its shine! You never appreciated me! You never loved me! You just broke me to pieces every time! You killed me!"**

_**If ever there was a doubt  
My love she leans into me  
This most assuredly counts  
She says most assuredly**_

"**ENOUGH!! Enough, ok?! Don't you dare say that!" **He shouted at me. I felt myself tremble at his booming voice. I can see him fuming with anger. His eyes, which are always pools of blue, turned icy blue. His expression completely changed when he saw the fear and vulnerability which were evident in my eyes. I quickly looked away.

"**I'm sorry for shouting. It's just that you were putting a lot of things on my shoulders that I couldn't take it. You were accusing me of things that didn't have any truth or whatsoever. You don't know any of those things. Sure, you probably felt that but I never said that straight to you!"**

"**How am I supposed to know? You did not talk. You left me hanging every time."**

"**I know. That was foolish of me. You don't deserve me. And again, I'm sor--"**

"**Lucas, stop it. Don't even continue. The pain you're feeling right now…believe me, it doesn't even come close to what I felt. It's not even an inch close to it. So don't even bother telling me you're sorry or you understand me. You have no idea."**

Silence. We're both lost in our own thoughts. He broke the tension.

"**Tell me something."**

"**Like what?"**

"**Anything. How about what you want to have?"**

"**I want to have **_**you**_**. All of you."**

"**You already have me."**

"**But I don't want to take you."**

"**I understand."**

"**No, you don't." **

_**Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
Be my baby  
I'll look after you**_

I closed my eyes. How can he pretend everything's so fine and perfect when we're far from it? How can he be so calm and together while I, on the other hand, am crumbling down? Can't he see that? He's _**supposed**_ to make everything feel right.

"**I don't understand you. You want me to understand you, and now that I do, you're saying that I don't."**

"**You're sating you understand just to make me feel better. The truth is, I feel a lot worse."**

"**How exactly do you feel?"**

"**I don't know! I'm confused. Pissed off. Angry. I feel like I'm going to explode! God! I'm so messed up! This is such a nightmare! I need to wake up!" **I said as I felt frustrated. I stood up and paced around again. I slowly breathed in and out to vent my inner feelings.

"**Brooke! Calm down! You're acting crazy!"**

"**Maybe I am crazy! Well, I'd rather be crazy than to be here talking to you."**

"**Can you calm down? Please?"**

I shook furiously. My hands, my body, my surroundings- they're all shaking vigorously. There was a sound of a girl crying. I opened my eyes, only to see everything a blur. It was then I realized I was the one who was crying. The blur came from the tears that continued flowing down my face. I only found myself on the floor, my head in my hands, and sobbing hardly. Lucas slowly sat in front of me, his faint sobs sounding with mine. I know he's trying to be strong for us. Despite of the comfort I found in his arms, I know he's breaking just as much.

"**I just don't want this anymore. I'm tired. I'm sick of it. I couldn't handle any more pain and heartbreak. I've already been carrying too much and I just couldn't take some more. My heart is so empty right now, like a bunch of holes were punched on it. It's been aching without you, but it aches more when I'm around you. I'm like a zombie. I don't know what to do." **I cried non- stop and pounded his hard chest.

"**Let me save you," **he choked.

"**I can't."**

"**Why not?"**

"**You promised that before. But you didn't keep it."**

"**I'll keep it this time. Trust me."**

"**I can't. I just…can't."**

"**That's the least I can do."**

"**No! The least you can do is to stay away from me." **I murmured to his chest. Is this what I really want?

"**NO! I wouldn't do that again! Not again!" **he pulled himself away from me and forced me to look at him. I looked away.

"**Brooke, look at me!" **he demanded.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him. One more look will only send me over the edge. I'll be broken forever if I do. It was my only way out.

As if reading my mind, he reached for my face and brought it to look at his. His delicate and soft fingers crossed my face and traced patterns on it. His eyes looked scared, desperate, and broken all at the same time. He's pleading as if his life is on the line.

"**Please…" **he whispered.

I closed my eyes and let the tears fall. I relished the feeling of his touch on my face and dwelled on it. But a faint voice at the back of my head told me this is wrong. My senses got the better of me as I realized what was happening to me- I was falling again.

_**It's always have and never hold  
You've begun to feel like home  
What's mine is yours to leave or take  
What's mine is yours to make your own**_

"**No," **I breathed out. **"I'm not going to do this again."**

I gathered all my strength to remove his hand. I quickly headed to the door but was stopped when I felt someone grab me by the waist and pull me backwards, away from the door.

"**Brooke, please. Don't do this. I can't handle this one more time. I need you. I love you. You have my heart, and my soul. I don't think I can handle anything without you. You're my life. Please don't leave," **He said as hi cries broke my heart, too. He's pleading with all his face. One more sob could've broken my defenses, my walls. But I pretended to be a cold, heartless killer as I completely broke two heart- mine and his.

"**I…can't…do…this…right now. I need to get away for a while," **I said as I mustered all my courage to let go from his strong grasp and leave. I turned the knob, fighting the urge to look back at him and jump into his arms. I stepped out of the room and closed the door abruptly.

Regret, hurt, heartbreak, remorse, agony, melancholy, pain- whatever it's called, I'm feeling it right now. It's washing over me.

But I have to do this.

* * *

**AN: First off, I have to thank Stephenie Meyer's Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan. I have just finished reading "New Moon" when I started to write this particular chapter, so that was my inspiration. I love the angst that Edward and Bella share with Brucas! All those Twilight fans out there, I know you know what I mean. **

**Hey guys, I'm not expecting those kinds of feedbacks from you, guys! Thank you so much! I thought you'll not like the "less- dialogue- more- POV" writing. But you did! Thanks so much! Really!**

**Did I let you guys hanging with that? LOL! **

**But, just to not confuse you, Brooke was not giving up…just yet. Or she may not give up at all, but this chapter definitely DOESN'T end with Brooke giving up. Did Brooke say no? Did she say yes? Neither, for now.**

**brookenlucas4eva03- **that one word makes your review awesome! Thanks!

**gilmoregrly4life- **Thanks! You're one of my best reviewers! I love Kate, too! She's awesome!

**onetreefan- **I left you speechless and hanging?! Wow! I didn't know I had that effect! Thanks all the same! You're the best!

**othfan326- **We all want Brucas, don't we?! LOL! Brooke was confused at so many things and things are just difficult between them that her head is all over the place; that's why she's mad.

**M190192- **Well, cliffhanger no more! LOL! Thanks for loving my story! That's typical of Brooke to run away, isn't it? I'm so loving Kate Voegele right now! I can't stop!

** IamCaroline- **Thanks for the detailed review! We all need drama sometimes, right? And it's for Lucas to figure out how he's going to win Brooke back! Keep tuning in!

**GossipGirlLover-** I feel you! Yah, GG totally rocks! And OTH too! Those 2 shows can be very addicting, huh? LOL! It addiction bit me the first time I watched them! The GG fic idea has been crossing my mind, too. I just don't know if I should go on with it. I'm an NS fan, so that's kinda like the BL storyline…I still don't know! Thanks for the idea, though, for putting me on your alerts, and for the review!

_Song: Look After You by The Fray_

**--cheery**


	7. Apologies

"**Hi."**

"**Hi."**

"**I figured you'd be here at the heart of New York City."**

"**How did you know?"**

"**It's my favorite place, too. This is my Rivercourt- New York style. I come here to think, or brood, as you'd like to put it. Despite of the hustle and bustle of cars, this place gives me serenity. It gives me to be alone with my thoughts."**

"**Yah. Me, too."**

"**I lied."**

"**What?"**

"**I saw you here. Actually, I was on my way, then I figured I'd join you."**

"**Well, that's not a surprise."**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**Never mind. I'm just wondering. Why didn't you follow me when I left you this morning? I mean, you could've followed me, that's so typical of you. But you didn't."**

"**I believe you needed time. I did, too. Besides, I was not in the mood to argue with you twice in a row. You're probably sick of my face now, huh?"**

"**I'm used to it," **she said. For the first time, I saw her smile.

"**Lindsey knew."**

"**Knew what?"**

"**That I am in love with you."**

"**How did you know that she knows?"**

"**She told me. She said she noticed during our engagement party."**

* * *

_(flashback)_

"_**--and we'll have this nice house with white--Luke?"**_

"_**Luke? Hello? Earth to Lucas!" **__I bolted upright at the sound of my name._

"_**Huh—wh—what?"**_

"_**You weren't listening to me."**_

"_**Yes, I was. You were saying about kids, right?"**_

"_**Yes, I was. But that was like minutes ago. And you would've known that I was talking about houses right now when you weren't staring at Brooke."**_

"_**Ok, wait a minute. Brooke?"**_

"_**Lucas, don't lie to me. You two are practically melting each other with your stares." **__She stood up to leave._

_**Yesterday he said my eyes  
Were fading fast away  
I said well what do you expect  
You asked me not to stay and if it had all been for the best  
I wouldn't feel this way  
And he said**_

"_**Linds," **__I grabbed her by the waist and sat her on my lap. __**"I was not staring at Brooke."**_

"_**SO what were you staring at? The fountain that was behind her?"**_

"_**No, I was thinking…about things?"**_

"_**What things?"**_

"_**About us—our future."**_

"_**Sure you were."**_

"_**You don't believe me, do you?"**_

"_**Frankly, no. Lucas, every time we're with Brooke, you always look at her."**_

"_**What's wrong with looking? She's my friend."**_

"_**No, you look at her like…like you love her or something. By the way, she's not just your friend, she's also your ex- girlfriend. Hell! Your friend thinks she's you fiancé!"**_

"_**Lindsey, I'm with you, ok? Come on, we're getting married tomorrow. You're gonna be my wife. My heart is with you."**_

"_**But that doesn't mean you don't love her."**_

"_**You have to trust me, ok? I don't love Brooke- well, yah, I do love her, but not the way you think,"**_

"_**I'm sorry. I just feel insecure sometimes."**_

"_**Well, don't be. No more doubts, ok?"**_

"_**I'll try."**_

_(after the supposed-to- be wedding)_

"_**Lindsey, what were you thinking? Come on, we have to get back to the church."**_

"_**No."**_

"_**What are you talking about?"**_

"_**I'm not going back there, nor am I going to stay here in Tree Hill."**_

"_**You're leaving?"**_

"_**Go make things right with Brooke."**_

"_**Not again, Lindsey. We're not talking about this again."**_

"_**I thought I could fight it, Luke. I thought I could fight what I'm feeling and what you feel for her. I was living in denial. But I can't anymore. Fix things with her. she deserves that much."**_

"_**Lindsey, this isn't about Brooke."**_

"_**So you think. Even if it's not about her, I can't marry a guy whose heart I know is with someone else; someone that is not me. I'm not meant to be your wife, Luke; someone else is."**_

"_**I don't know what to say."**_

"_**How about you acknowledge that I'm right?"**_

"_**I can't do that just yet. I'm sorry it has to be this way, Lindsey."**_

"_**Me too.**_

_With that, she left. Forever._

_**Oh he said it's crazy  
How love stays with me  
You know it hurts me  
Cause I don't wanna fight this war  
It's amazing to see me reading through this scene  
Of love and fear and apologies**_

_(end of flashback)_

* * *

"**She knew it was all about you all along. We were both in denial, I guess. I just couldn't accept the truth. I was hiding from it until Lindsey made me realize it."**

"**Lucas, why do you always have to be so damn confused every time?"**

"**It's funny. I don't get it either. But I guess I'm scared."**

"**Of?"**

"**Of being alone. Dan left me when I was young. Keith died. Mom, she has a life of her own now. You left me. Peyton left me, too. Then Lindsey."**

"**Lucas, you're never alone. You have us. You'll always have us."**

"**I know. But I can't help the feeling sometimes. Besides, we all have our own lives now. I can't always depend on you."**

"**At least you know the people that left you loved you."**

"**What made you say that?"**

"**Keith loves you very much, so does your mom. Dan is repaying for everything he has done to you by trying to be your dad. Peyton, Lindsey, and I loved you so much. At least you know they love you, right?"**

"**Brooke, don't say that."**

""**Why not? It's true. My parents, the random guys I made out with, Felix, Mr. Chavez- **she cringed at the thought-, **Chase, Owen. Even you. It was as if I was never loved, never appreciated.**

"**Those people don't know how much you're worth just to take you for granted. Even I."**

"**I just wanted to feel how is to love and be loved genuinely."**

"**I did."**

"**No, you didn't I was the one who loved you genuinely. Then suddenly hid from me. You ran and went away. You were just gone."**

_**My love is like a blanket  
That gets a little bit too warm sometimes  
I wanna wrap somebody in it  
Who can hold me in his arms  
Cause when it got a little too hot in there  
He was always stepping out for air and he froze  
Oh he froze**_

"**I know and I'm--"**

"**--sorry? I had a feeling you'd say that."**

"**Just so you know, I really did love you, Brooke. I'm sorry if I didn't let you feel it."**

"**Chase knows."**

"**Knows what?"**

"**That…that I…that it's you. He proposed to me."**

"**What?! He what?!"**

"**He proposed to me when he came back a year ago."**

* * *

_(flashback)_

_**He said it's crazy  
How love stays with me  
You know it hurts me  
Cause I don't wanna fight this war  
It's amazing to see me reading through this scene  
Of love and fear and apologies**_

"_**Brooke Davis, I love you so much. Will you marry me?"**_

"_**Chase, I--I can't. I'm so, so sorry. I'm just not--"**_

"_**It's Lucas, isn't it?"**_

"_**What?"**_

"_**You still love him?"**_

"_**And I thought I was very good at hiding my feelings."**_

"_**Hid it? Brooke, you're not very good at hiding. And it's so obvious, anyway. I guess I could say I have figured it out. It's ok."**_

"_**No, it's not. Chase, you don't deserve this."**_

"_**Nah. I just want to push my chance, anyway. Besides, I have known it's always him."**_

"_**I'm sorry it turned out this way."**_

"_**You know what, you're crazy."**_

"_**What?"**_

"_**Lucas Scott has really got you, huh? I don't understand it really. He has broken your heart several times and you still love him."**_

"_**I don't get it myself. But Lucas has got to be the first and the last guy I'll ever be with. Too bad he has set his future with another girl."**_

"_**Then tell him you love him."**_

"_**Chase! I wouldn't do that!"**_

"_**Why not? At least he knows, right? Whether he acts on it or not, it's his call."**_

"_**I would rather that he doesn't know, thank you very much."**_

"_**You do know you're just hurting yourself, right?"**_

"_**Better to hurt myself than to hurt Lindsey. It's unfair to her. She deserves to be happy."**_

"_**And you don't?"**_

"_**I'll be happy. At least I'll be happy somewhere else."**_

"_**You're so selfless, Brooke. I hope Lucas gets to see that."**_

"_**I bet he won't. Anyways, we're good, right? Friends?"**_

"_**We'll always be friends, Brooke. And if Lucas doesn't fix things, I'll be happy and willing to be more than friends with you."**_

"_**Oh, Chase! Shut up!"**_

"_**Just kidding. Anyways, I gotta go."**_

"_**Ok. See you around, Chase."**_

"_**You too, Davis."**_

_**Yesterday he looked at me  
With a tear in his eye and said  
I'll always tell you you're my friend  
I hope I don't have to lie  
Cause it's clear you love another man  
I said you're damn right**_

_(end of flashback)_

* * *

"**I guess we're both living in denial, too."**

"**I guess so. I thought marrying Lindsey would end everything. I thought it was the right thing to do."**

"**I thought Clothes over Bros would make me forget about you. I didn't realize that my feelings are far greater than I can fight them."**

_**And he said  
He said it's crazy  
How love stays with me  
You know it hurts me  
Cause I don't wanna fight this war  
It's amazing to see me reading through this scene  
Of love and fear and apologies**_

Neither of us said anything.

"**Brooke, I owe you an apology. No, I owe you much, much, much more than that. You don't deserve everything I did to you. I don't know how to repay you. Hell! I don't even know how to apologize."**

"**Lucas, relax! It's ok."**

"**No, it's not. You don't understand."**

"**I do understand. But I'm afraid it's too late for that. The damage is done."**

"**I know, I know. Is there any way I could do to make things better?"**

"**I couldn't think of any. I think there's nothing you could do. Not even your speeches can do."**

"**I know. I just wish there is something."**

"**I'm sure you'll figure out a way."**

"**Hey, you still haven't answered my question this morning."**

"**Lucas--"**

"**No, no. You don't have to answer it now. But why can't you just say it?"**

"**I'm afraid. I might fall down to pieces. I'm afraid my walls would break down the second I answer that."**

"**I understand. I just wish you would answer me sooner than later. And that I'll be worthy of it when the time comes."**

"**Just give me time."**

"**That I can do. Hey, can I take you out to dinner tomorrow night?"**

"**Lucas, I don't know."**

"**Just as friends, I promise."**

"**I can't. It's too soon. I'm sorry."  
**

"**It's ok. I'm sorry. I'm rushing things. I might as well enjoy this friendship. We are friends, right?"**

"**You'll always be my friend. How about we make a deal? You stop saying sorry and I will consider taking you up on your offer? Sounds good?"**

"**Sounds like a plan. And besides, if we have dinner tomorrow night, you can't help yourself and you'll start falling for me again."**

"**Uh! Please! Get over yourself! And if I remember correctly, I was the other way around. It has always been like that."**

"**We'll see."**

"**I miss this."**

"**You have no idea. I've missed you, Brooke Davis. Now who said we can't have a peaceful, civil conversation like this without raising voices and throwing things at each other?" **

"**True that! I've missed you, too, Broody." **The nickname seemed to roll off her tongue naturally. I smiled as she remembered our old ways.

"**Come on, I'll take you home."**

She looked hesitant.

"**Brooke, it's just a ride. I don't bite."**

"**Fine, but no crappy music."**

"**Yes, Ma'am."**

_**He said it's crazy  
How love stays with me  
You know it hurts me  
That I didn't figure it out before  
And now it's too late for a soliloquy  
It's way too late for dignity  
It's time for apologies**_

* * *

**AN: Ok, so that was some happy Brucas, right? I thought you guys deserve it for giving such wonderful reviews! Please review this one!**

**onetreefan- **I'm so sorry the last chapter isn't a very cheery one! I promise that this one will not be as sad as the last one. It's not very cheery, but at least they're not fighting, right? But still, thanks for the review!

**evergloweyes- **thanks for reviewing! Now Brucas did their talking! I think we have established the fact that Lucas has felt Brooke's pain. Now what would he do to show he's worthy of her trust again? Stay tuned!

**brookenlucas4eva03- **I love your reviews! Short, but so sweet! Thanks!

**bella- **Thanks for reviewing! Please, please, please keep on reading and reviewing! By the way, whenever I see you name, it reminds me of Bella Swan from Twilight (it's my current addiction!). Anyways, thanks for the review!

**whiters-** thanks for liking my story! Don't worry, you're entitled to your opinion, so if sympathize with Lucas, it's ok. I think he deserves people's sympathy sometimes; he needs to be understood, too. People just can't gang up on him every time. And, don't worry, he will not give up on Brooke, I can guarantee you that. Brucas is meant to be! As for Brooke, she is figuring out if she can open up to Lucas again. Keep reviewing!

**IamCaroline- **Expect more angst althroughout my story! I love angst! Lucas isn't giving up, and neither is Brooke. They just need to learn to trust each other this time around. I felt Brooke, too. Her character is much more angst-y than Lucas 'cause I speak, mostly, on her perspective. Brucas started the angst, not Leyton! LOL! Just kidding! Both couples just have as much angst. I hope this happy-Brucas enough for you! Thanks for the review!

**GossipGirlLover- **This is such a coincidence! I barely meet people who are BL **and** NS fans! Wow, we really are masochists, huh? LOL! Both couples are equally HOT! As for HSM, I'm not really a fan of Gabriella&Troy. I don't know. They're too mushy for me. LOL! But I'll be thinking of that GG and HSM fic…I'll let you know. Thanks for reviewing!

**AmbroCoo- **Cliffhangers are a torture, right? LOL! Well, there aren't cliffhangers in this chapter. But I'll bet you'll be looking forward to more Brucas! LOL! Thanks for the review!

** GossipGirlLover, madcap312 **(hope you'll drop a review sometime! Thanks for reading!)**, whiters- **thanks for putting me on your alerts and favorites!

**You guys are awesome! Please keep reading and reviewing!**

**_Song: Apologies by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals (such an awesome song!)_**

**--cheery**


	8. Story of A Girl

_(Ring, ring)_

"**Hello!" **she answered in a sing- song voice.

"**Someone's cheery early in the morning."**

"**Duh! I wouldn't be called 'Cheery' if I weren't cheery. Besides, you gave me that nickname."**

"**Hey, I'm not complaining. Anyways, remember our deal?'**

"**You'll stop saying sorry and I will think about our dinner?"**

"**Yup. Since I haven't said any sorry's yet, maybe we could do that dinner tonight?"**

"**I'm sorry, Lucas. No can do. We're conceptualizing for the new issue of our magazine."**

"**Oh, ok."**

"**Tell you what, why don't you swing by the office right now and we'll go out."**

I chuckled. We- as in the both of us- will go out?"

"**Oh, no. I don't 'that.' Just as friends."**

"**Relax, Brooke. I know what you mean."**

"**I know. So, you in?"**

"**I'm on my way. Meet you there in, say, 5?"**

"**Sure. See ya!"**

"**See you, Brooke."**

* * *

_(Brooke's office)_

"**Hi. I'm looking for Brooke Davis. Can you tell me where she is?"**

"**Are you Lucas Scott?"**

"**Yes."**

"**Ms. Davis told me to tell you to wait for her in her office."**

"**Ok. Thanks."**

I proceeded to her office and entered. I looked around and applauded her chic style of room. Over at a corner, she had so many pictures from different magazines. She been on the cover of Vogue, Vanity Fair, Marie Claire, and many others I can't recognize. She was pictured with so many A- class celebrities. She's gotten so famous, I thought. One thing I noticed about all the pictures on her wall, though. The smiles she has on the pictures wasn't her smile- the dimpled smile that reaches up to her ears. No, these smiles were fake. If you hadn't known Brooke Davis, you could've been convinced that her smile was genuine. But it's not.

_This is the story of a girl  
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world  
And while she looked so sad in photographs  
I absolutely love her  
When she smiles_

I tore my gaze away from those pictures and onto her table. There isn't anything appealing to it. One thing that caught my attention was an orange bottle lying on her table. I picked it up and looked at what it said.

"**Brooke Davis. Anti- depressants. Once a day."**

Brooke is taking anti- depressants? Since when? Why? I heard the doorknob turn and I quickly shoved the bottle inside my pocket. I pushed aside the thought for a moment and focused on Brooke.

"**Lucas! Hi! It's good to see you!" **Brooke greeted.

"**You too, Brooke."**

"**I was caught up with that meeting. I'm sick of meetings here and there. Thank God it's over! Now you have my full attention."**

"**Is that so?'**

"**Yep. Come on, Broody. Where do you want to go?"**

"**Wherever you want, Cheery."**

"**Using the nicknames now, are we? I like that. But before we do anything crazy, can we please stop by Starbucks? I'm dying for some coffee!"**

"**Whatever you say."**

"**Thanks. You're the best. Wait, I gotta tell something to my assistant."**

"**Ok. I'll wait by the elevator."**

"**Ok. Jess, if anybody calls me, tell them I'm out with the hottest author here in New York. No disturbance or whatsoever. I'll be back." **She winked at me and I laughed.

"**Let's go, Broody."**

The "thought" entered my head again. She's not taking them, is she?

* * *

_(Starbucks)_

_Now how many days in a year  
She woke up with hope  
But she only found tears  
And I can be so insincere  
Making her promises never for real  
As long as she stands there waiting  
Wearing the holes in the soles of her shoes  
Now how many days disappear  
When you look in the mirror  
So how do you choose_

"**Brooke, can I ask you a question?"**

"**Shoot."**

"**What are you doing with these?" **I asked as I pulled out the bottle from my pocket."

"**Where did you get that?" **she asked. She suddenly stiffened.

"**I found this on your table."**

""**You were snooping through my things?"**

"**I wasn't snooping through your things. I found them there. Besides, your assistant told me to wait there."**

"**She told you to wait, not to look through my things."**

"**Whatever. I've seen it, doesn't matter anymore. Now answer my question."**

"**I'm not taking them anymore- not for the past month."**

"**That still didn't answer my question. Brooke, I'm not angry. I'm just converned. Please. Just tell me."**

"**I committed suicide." **she whispered.

"**What? When?"**

"**A year ago. I didn't know what to do. My life was a waste. I was depressed. I felt vulnerable and alone. It was Rachel who saved me. She found me unconscious in the bathroom and took me to the hospital," **she said as her eyes welled up with tears.

"**I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me?"**

"**Tell you? How? You were busy with Lindsey then. Besides, I was ashamed of myself. That was not who I once was."**

"**There's nothing to be ashamed of. Everybody changes. Even I change. Everybody goes through rough times. It's normal. That's life. But that doesn't mean you have to resort to drugs."**

"**That's not all. Those pills were not just for my suicide attempt."**

"**What else happened?"**

"**I kept having nightmares. Same nightmare every night. I would wake screaming and yelling. Rachel got immune of it, knowing that I would wake up soon. I was living in darkness. I didn't know what to do."**

"**It's ok. You're here now. You're safe. I wish I was there for you. I did promise to save you. But, no worries now. I'm not going to leave you. I'll be here for you- always."**

"**Thanks, Luke."**

_Your clothes never wear as well the next day  
And your hair never falls in quite the same way  
You never seem to run out of things to say_

"**I need you to promise me one thing, though."**

"**What?"**

"**You'll not take these pills again, whatever happens. Promise me you'll throw every bit of it away."**

"**Lucas, I don't know."**

"**Please? For your sake, and for me."**

"**Ok. I'll try my best."**

"**I don't need you to try. I need you to do it."**

"**Fine. I'll do it."**

"**Good girl."**

"**So, let's not spoil the rest of the day. Let's go to the park."**

"**What? Are you crazy?"**

"**Nope. Come on."**

* * *

_(Park)_

_Now how many lovers would stay  
Just to put up with this  
Every day and all day  
Now how did we wind up this way  
Watching our mouths for the words that we say  
As long as we stand here waiting  
Wearing the clothes or the soles that we choose  
Now how do we get there today  
When we're walking too far for the price of our shoes_

"**OK. Now we're in the park. What do you want to do?"**

"**I don't know, Broody. All I know is, I want to have fun. Come on. Live a little."**

"**Whatever, Crazy Girl."**

"**Are those cotton candies?"**

"**I think so. Why?"**

"**I want one! Can we buy one?"**

"**Whatever you say."**

"**Yay! Thanks!"**

"**We're in the park. You have your cotton candy. What's next? You know what, I think I like shopping better."**

"**Oh, we'll have time for that later. Right now, I want to play in the swing."**

"**Brooke, what are we? Seven year olds?"**

"**Nope. Are swings for seven year olds only?"**

"**Oh! What the hell! Come on!"**

"**You're turning soft on me, Broody."**

"**Anything for you, Pretty Girl."**

_Your clothes never wear as well the next day  
And your hair never falls in quite the same way  
You never seem to run out of things to say_

* * *

_(Swing)_

"**Broody, I have an idea. Let's play 20 Questions while singing."**

"**You're really making me crazy, huh? You start."**

"**Most embarrassing moment? Mine was Prom Night, when I had the word 'slut' written on my dress."**

"**Ouch! Mine was when I had to get out of the gym naked."**

"**That's not embarrassing. That's hot!"**

"**Sure, it was. My turn. Ummm…most fun thing you've ever done? So far, this one is climbing the charts."**

"**Now you're liking my idea, huh? Mine is Sparkle Classic, Senior Year. Deepest, darkest secret I do not know?"**

"**I kept a red feather from your Devil costume."**

"**No way! You did?!"**

"**I most certainly did."**

"**Now that's a shocker! Mine is that I haven't read both your books. Sorry, Broody."**

"**Ouch, Brooke! That really hurt." **I said mockingly.

"**Who do you miss the most among our class? Now don't say me 'cause I know everybody missed me. No need to mention."**

"**Hmm…except you? This will be hard. But, kidding aside, I don't miss you. I miss the girl behind the red door. You know, that girl that smiles always and always has those sparkling eyes."**

"**I miss that girl, too." **She said thoughtfully.

_This is the story of a girl  
Who's pretty face she hid from the world  
and while she looks so sad and lonely there  
I absolutely love her_

"**Hey, Broody?"**

"**Yes?"**

"**Would you be a dear and push me? Please? Pretty please?"**

"**The things I do for you."**

"**Oh, shut up! You know you love it!"**

"**OK, on the count of 3, I'm gonna push you real hard, ok?"**

"**Make sure it's hard, sissy!"**

"**You're calling me a sissy. We'll see about that. 1…2…3." **

I pushed her as hard as I can and she let out the loudest squeal I have ever heard from her. she sounded like a kid who has just given a box of candies. Now this is the real Brooke Davis.

"**Broody! Keep pushing!" **she demanded.

"**Brooke, I'm gonna slow it down. You might fall."**

"**NO, don't! I can handle it. Come on!"**

"**If you say so."**

I kept on pushing her and she kept on squealing joyfully. Now her swing is becoming higher and higher, and I'm afraid she might fall.

"**Brooke, I'm going to stop pushing now. You're way too high."**

"**Broody, don't. Keep--AHHHHH!"**

Brooke Davis just landed flat on her butt on the ground. I quickly rushed to her side as panic started to fill me.

"**Brooke, are you ok?"**

When I walked over to her, she was laughing like mad.

"**That was so fun!"  
**

"**Cheery, you landed flat on your butt and you're still laughing?"**

"**It didn't hurt a thing. You should've tried it."**

"**Come on, Crazy Girl, get up."**

I offered her my hand. And instead of getting up, she took me down with her.

"**Brooke Davis, you did not just do that!"**

"**Do what?" **she asked, playing dumb.

"**You are so gonna get it! You better watch your back!" **

"**Broody, don't do whatever it is you're gonna do. I'm begging you." **She said as she started to get up, getting away from me.

"**A little too late for that, Pretty Girl." **

She started running around the park, laughing as she went. I ran after and caught her by the waist.

"**Gotcha! Now that's what you get for doing that! And this!" **I laughed evilly and started tickling her. She was squirming and laughing like crazy.

All of a sudden, I found ourselves falling to the ground; me on top of her. Suddenly, all laughs ceased and we were left staring at each other's eyes. Her eyes seemed more hazel than I remember it and they were sparkling just as I remember it.

"**Broody…can't breathe…need oxygen." **She whispered, asking me to get up.

"**Ooopps. Sorry," **I said getting up.

"**This day was fun." **She said, dusting the sand off her clothes.

"**Uhhh…Cheery, I think it's time to head back. The rain's gonna pour any minute now."**

"**You think?"**

"**I know. I can feel it."**

"**Really?" **she asked, smiling goofily.

"**And you seem to like it."**

"**I love the rain! Come on, Broody! I don't wanna head back there yet."**

"**I'll make you a deal. We'll walk back to my place, while it is raining."**

"**Where do you live?"  
**

"**A few blocks from here."**

"**Sounds good. The farther, the better. Sounds fair enough for me."**

"**Ok, let's get soaked then, Pretty Girl."**

_This is the story of a - girl  
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world  
And while she looked so sad in photographs  
I absolutely love her  
When she smiles_

* * *

**AN: Ok guys, I have the whole storyline formulated in my head, and, I'm telling you, it's wickedly good! LOL! It'll probably reach 20 chapters or so. Expect more angst, less happy moments. I've just proved to myself that I'm not good at writing happy Brucas moments, it's hard. I don't know. But I'll try to make some for y'all! I'm warning you, though, a lot of drama! I'm so excited to write those parts already! LOL! **

**But, for now, reviews, please! Thanks!**

**bella ()-** I'm building Brucas to their relationship, if I decide to make them as a couple soon. LOL! Still deciding on that. Let me know what you think! I'm like their fairy godmother now and I'm still thinking if I'm gonna give them happiness or what. Nothing's definite yet, just their friendship.

**whiters- **Team Brooke all the way! I agree with everything you said! She needs to be happy the most, after everything she has gone through. It wouldn't be realistic if I just let Brooke give in that easily. It's gonna be a while, or even _**forever**_, for her to trust Lucas again. We'll see.

**IamCaroline- **Thanks for the great review! Let Brucas take their time. At least we know Brase is over, or is it? I'm thinking of bringing him back, part of my wickedly good storyline! LOL! Brucas totally owns the flirting!

**othfan326- **Thanks for devotedly updating! I liked that LL and BC had their closures. Although, I'm thinking that one of those couples will resurface sometime in the future chapters. Don't know yet. Keep reviewing and reading!

**brookenlucas4eva03- **I still don't know about that yet. Thanks for reviewing!

**gilmoregrly4life- **HI! Haven't heard from you for a while now! Thanks for reviewing! Brucas is so cute**!**

**onetreefan- **thanks for reviewing!

**Sophia-Chad- **Thanks for reviewing! I like your username by the way! LOL! Brucas as friends is good, sometimes even better than being a couple 'cause things just go wrong when they're together...but Brucas still rocks! Thanks for putting me inyour alerts!

**BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE- **I'm still thinking about the "Brucas as a couple" idea. Yah, I do want them together but I'm just saving them from the heartbreak. We all know Brucas and their tendency to screw their relationshi. But do expect more Brucas scenes, some happy, and some not so much. But nevertheless, please tune in for more! LOL! Thanks for putting me in your alerts and for reviewing!

**GossipGirlLover- **OK, seriously, you have just freaked me out! But totally in a good way! We both love the same ships! Seriously! Are you my twin or something? First, we both love Brucas. And NS. And now you like T/S too? OMG! Coincidence much? I love the ships you love! LOL! We're totally on the same wavelength here! Thanks for reviewing!

_Song: Absolutely (Story of A Girl) by Nine Days_

**Thanks for reviewing, guys! Don't forget about this one!**

**--cheery**


	9. All At Once

_(Lucas' house)_

_**There are certain people you just keep coming back to  
She is right in front of you  
You begin to wonder could you find a better one  
Compared to her now she's in question**_

"**That was so fun! Seriously! I've never been out under the rain like that much! Come on! Didn't you enjoy it?" **Brooke asked me as we entered in the house, dripping from the rain.

"**Well, yeah. I guess it was kind of fun. Plus the fact that we got totally soaked."**

"**Come on, Broody! You know you enjoyed it!"  
**

"**Fine, fine! So I had fun!"**

"**I knew you did. Your place is awesome!"**

"**You think? It's not that big, compared to your mansion. But it's enough. I'm barely here, anyways."**

"**This rocks! Hey, do you have something I could change into? I'm soaked!"**

"**Are you ok with any of my shits and a pair of my boxers? Don't worry. They're clean."**

"**Anything that's yours will do. Really."**

"**Ok. Then grab anything from my drawers. I'll get something from the kitchen. Be right back. Don't leave just yet."**

"**Relax, Broody. I'm not going anywhere."**

"**Ok. I'll be quick."**

Lucas headed right out of his room. I walked to his drawers. On top of it were pictures from our high school days. There was one from our Prom, Graduation, and our last day as Tree Hill high schoolers. Right in the middle of those pictures was our very own collage of pictures that I clearly remember were taken from a photobooth. I ran my hands through it and smiled. Being in this place brought back memories. It made me feel like I was back in his old room. I guess it Lucas that brings 'hominess' wherever he goes.

_**And all at once the crowd begins to sing  
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same**_

I slowly opened the first drawer and saw a box- no, it's not just a box, it was _**my **_box. I lifted the lid off, and I was once again reminded of the 82 letters I wrote to him one summer. I picked one envelope, and right I was on the verge of pulling the letter out, I abruptly closed it again and put it back in the box. There's no sense in reading it if I'm trying to move on. What's the purpose of trying to heal if I'm just prying the wounds open again?

I sighed and tried to look for the clothes. Aha! Finally! I'm freezing in these wet clothes. I hastily pulled my top over my head and took it off. My attention was caught when I heard a thud on the bedroom floor. I grabbed the top I just pulled off to cover my half- naked body, and turned around. I jumped when I saw Lucas standing by the door, his eyes just fixed on me. It seemed like he was on a daze. The "thud" I heard was apparently his shirt that has landed on the floor. He never changed. His toned torso is still so gorgeous that it kills to look at it. His face seemed more handsome that I last looked at it- not that he didn't look mighty fine ever since. His captivating blue eyes seemed to stare deep into my soul, and, damn!, they seem bluer than before. His hair is tousled in different direction as it got soaked in the rain. It has always been in casual disarray and makes him look sexier. But right now, it looks so neatly disheveled. He has on that "scruffy look" that makes him look like a badass. I just realized I have never scrutinized him that much, unlike what I am doing now. Is it possible for a man to age so gracefully like him?

Wait, why am I thinking like this? Brooke Penelope Davis, you better stop this right now! You have plenty of time for those fantasies when you're alone, but not when you're like thus- half- naked, that is- and you're obviously staring at his half –naked, oh- so- gorgeous body!

I snapped out of my thoughts and tried really heard to focus.

"**Lucas! What are you doing here? Wait, no, no. that was foolish of me. Of course this is your house. But I meant, like, what are--" **I rambled.

"**No, no. it's fine. I just came to tell you that I ordered a box of pizza. And there's some soda in the fridge if you want one. I thought you're going to change in the bathroom."**

"**Oh, of course! The bathroom! That was stupid of me."**

"**Well, since you're here, and obviously in the middle of changing, I'm going to leave you to it. Uh, I'll be…I'll be in the kitchen."**

"**OK." **I said, waiting for hum to leave.

"**I'm…I'm gonna…go." **He said. Waiting for a beat, he hesitantly left the room.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Talk about an awkward moment! I hurriedly changed into the fresh clothes before Lucas comes in again. I went into the kitchen and found Lucas by the fridge. His back was turned against me so he couldn't see me yet. I chuckled to catch his attention. He has changed into new clothes, too. So this is good; we're both decent. He turned around, and smiled.

_**Maybe you want her, maybe you need her  
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there**_

"**Hey there, Pretty Girl. I'm sorry for what happened there earlier. I should've known you're changing."**

"**No worries, Broody. Nothing you haven't seen before, right? Besides, this is your house."**

"**Right. So I changed into a more decent clothing so you won't have to drool again."**

"**Oh, please! Me?! Drooling?! You're sure you're not talking about yourself?"**

"**Oh! I was so not drooling!"**

"**Whatever you say, Broody. But I know what I saw."**

"**Sure, you do. Anyways, pizza's on the way. What do you want to do? Hey, don't you have a meeting?"**

"**Screw that meeting! I'm pretty beat, anyway. I know what we can do. We can watch a movie."**

"**Ok. You pick the movie and I think I just heard the doorbell ring, so I'm going to get it."**

"**Sounds like a plan."**

"**Cheery, pizza's here!"**

"**Ok. The movie's loading. I'm just going to get my phone from the bedroom."**

I entered the bedroom and checked to see my phone. So far, I have 12 voice messages, and 7 missed call. I groaned in frustration as I realized they were all work- related. Right now, my assistant's calling me from the office.

"**Hello?"**

"**Ms. Davis?"**

"**Yes. Jess, what do you need?"**

"**Victoria's looking for you. Some clients are looking for you."**

"**Tell her I'll reschedule. I'm busy right now."**

"**I told her that. But she keeps on insisting that you come here right now."**

"**I can't deal with this. I'm in the middle of something. Can't you survive without me for a minute? Damn it! Tell her I'll be back tomorrow morning, but I can't right now! I'm with my friend."**

"**Ok. I'll tell her."**

"**And please tell her she can go to hell! Goodbye!"**

I angrily ended the call and calmed my nerves. I walked back to the living room and faked a smile.

* * *

"**Everything fine?"**

"**Yah. Just work stuff."**

"**You sure they don't need you back there? It sounded urgent."**

"**Is that your way of kicking me out, Lucas Scott?"**

"**Nope. Just worried."**

"**Well, don't be. I think they'll be just fine without me for a while. How about you? Don't you need to be writing?"**

"**Nope. I just finished the book. It's with the publisher a week ago."**

"**Wow! I thought you're not close to finishing it?"**

"**Well, my inspiration came back. Besides, it's just a couple of chapters that's missing. I didn't sleep one night and finished them. Since my editor works fast, we managed to give it to the publisher. Now, it's scheduled for release very, very soon."**

"**Wow! That's a reason for celebration! I'll be looking forward to that release. I have to say, I'm amazed, Broody. You work fast."**

"**Just like I said, it's all because of the inspiration. Uh, Brooke, your phone has been blinking for a while now. If I counted correctly, this is the twelfth time."**

"**Oh, don't worry. It's nothing."**

"**You sure?"**

"**Positive. Now could you kindly shut up and focus on the movie?"**

"**Ok. Zipping my lips right now."**

_**Looking for the right one you line up the world to find  
Where no questions cross your mind  
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt  
Much longer for you to sort it out**_

I lied on the couch, and Brooke positioned herself in front of me, with her head on my chest. I smiled. Just like the good 'ol times.

Not a minute has passed and I can feel Brooke's steady breathing. I looked over and saw that she's sleeping. I smiled and almost laughed to myself. I took this moment to gaze at her perfect face. Her skin seemed flawless as ever. She still has that smooth and creamy skin that seemed to attract every guy who sees her. Her eyelashes are curled to perfection, just like she has done over the years. Her lips are crept into a smile, and her lips seemed redder than before. If she wasn't sleeping, I could've kissed those perfect lips right there and then. Her dimples are on full- bloom even while sleeping. How could her dimples show even when she's sleeping? I inhaled the lavender scent of her hair and it captivated me more. Is she torturing me or something? If I didn't keep my cool, I might not control myself. What did I do to deserve her and just take her for granted?

I looked outside the window and realized that it's still raining. It's going to be nighttime soon and I hope that Brooke didn't miss anything at work. The last thing I want to happen is her company will crumble because we're spending more time together. I don't want her to be losing it all because she feels obligated to be with me. With her phone blinking wildly for the past minutes, I just hope it really is nothing. I closed my eyes and pushed aside that thought. I just listened to the steady sound of raindrops falling, and hoping that I will fall into a deep slumber. Will she be here when I wake up?

* * *

The sounds of raindrops falling on the roof woke me up. I adjusted my eyes to the bright light in the room. What time is it? I looked at the clock and realized that it was one in the morning. We've passed out for a very long time. I looked beside me and saw Brooke still sleeping very peacefully. She really must be tired to be in a very deep slumber. Looks like she's staying here for the night. I carefully moved out of the couch and stretched to relieve my aching back. Damn! That was uncomfortable! I slowly lifted Brooke to my arms and carefully carried her to my bedroom. I placed her on the bed and watched her sleep for a minute. I tucked some stray hair behind her ear and caressed her cheek.

"**Goodnight, Pretty Girl. I love you." **I said as I kissed her forehead. I stood up to crash on the uncomfortable couch again when I heard her mumble something.

"**Sleep with me, Broody." **She mumbled groggily. Leave it to Brooke to surprise you with her words. Whatever she was meaning, I'll take her up on her offer. Nevertheless, I climbed on the bed and lied beside her. I instinctively put my hands around her waist as we both slept again.

_**And all at once the crowd begins to sing  
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same**_

* * *

I woke up and felt the other side of the bed. Brooke's gone. Panic suddenly took over me. I bolted upright and frantically searched for her around. I stumbled upon the kitchen and found her cooking. OH! So that explains the enticing smell! I leaned against the doorway and watched her from behind. She was listening to her iPod and swaying her hips along to whatever she was listening to. She turned around and finally noticed my presence.

"**Someone has a good morning." **I said.

"**Well, that was the first time I slept like a baby. Broody, your bed's good."**

"**You're welcome to crash on it anytime."**

"**Thanks for taking care of me last night. And as a way of repaying you, I cooked you breakfast."**

"**Brooke, you didn't have to. It's my pleasure, anyway. Besides, I'm not even sure if this is a 'good thank you' or a 'bad thank you.' How can I be sure that you're not poisoning me with your cooking?"**

"**Hey! I did learn to cook! And I want to. So no buts. Eat up, and I'm gonna go take a shower, and go to work."**

"**Let me drop you off."**

"**OK. Give me an hour."**

* * *

_**Maybe you want her, maybe you need her  
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there  
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it  
Maybe it's all you're running from  
Perfection will not come**_

"**Brooke! You're gonna be late! Come on!" **I called from the living room.

"**I'm coming, Broody." **Then I heard her heels click- clacking, and, finally, she came out from the bedroom. I was stunned at her appearance.

"**So how do I look?" **she asked.

I couldn't find the voice to answer.

"**Do I look that bad?"**

"**No way! You look perfect. Cheery, is there any way that my heart would ever stop beating so rapidly like it's going to pop out of my chest whenever I see you?"**

"**Nope. Not a chance! You cleaned up fast. Where'd you shower?"**

"**The other bathroom. Now come on!"**

"**Let's go."**

* * *

We arrived at Brooke's office. Early in the morning, people are already running crazily and everything seems in a rush. Brooke has her "gameface" on as soon as she entered the office.

_**And all at once the crowd begins to sing  
Sometimes  
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain  
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same**_

"**Brooke, where the hell were you for the past half- day?" **A woman, who looks like in her late 40s, asked Brooke angrily.

"**I was with an old **_**friend**_**." **I winced at the word "friend". It hurts to realize that we are just friends right now.

"**You were with him?" **she asked coldly, motioning to me.

"**Yes. Lucas, this is Victoria, my mom. Victoria, this is Lucas."**

"**Brooke, how many times do I have to tell you not to call me 'mom?' You make me sound so old. Anyways, someone's here to surprise you."**

"**Who?"**

"**Jacob! Come here. Brooke's here." **Victoria called out.

Then this guy turned around. He looked like a model. I studied his features. Brown hair; tousled in different directions. Green eyes. Red lips. Red cheeks. Tanned. Stands just about my height. Who the hell is this guy?

"**Oh my gosh! Jacob! You're here!" **Brooke squealed and hurriedly ran up to him, and hugged him tightly.

"**Hi to you, too, Brooke." **He enveloped Brooke in a bear hug.

"**I thought you were in Italy with your family."**

"**We flew back yesterday."**

I watched them chatter endlessly as jealously crept up to me. My eyes turned hot and I was gazing at them with fire shooting out of my eyes.

"**Jacob is Brooke's boyfriend." **Victoria whispered as she walked past me as she left the room. Her voice kept replaying in my head. Brooke has a boyfriend? He's her boyfriend? Her boyfriend is that Jacob guy? Brooke and Jacob?

My blood started to boil furiously. I turned my heel to the door and left before I start beating the crap out of that guy.

Brooke has boyfriend? Have I lost her to another guy?

_**Maybe you want her, maybe you need her  
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there  
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it  
Maybe it's all you're running from  
Perfection will not come**_

* * *

"**Oh my gosh! Jacob! You're here!" **

"**Hi to you, too, Brooke." **

"**I thought you were in Italy with your family."**

"**We flew back yesterday."**

"**Why didn't you tell me?"**

"**I wanted to surprise you. Are you surprised?"**

"**I am, I am. It's just that I did not expect this, at all. But I'm so glad to see you. Wait, I want you to meet my friend. His name is Lu--" **I turned around to where Lucas was standing to motion him to come over. But he's not there anymore. All I saw was his retreating figure with a look of hurt and fury in his eyes. Why did he suddenly leave?

"**Everything alright, Brooke?" **

"**Yah. I'll just introduce you to my friend some other time. So tell me about Italy."**

Jacob and I talked for hours. Though I tried really hard to focus, I just can't- not when the face of Lucas etched with pain is permanently glued to my brain. Something is definitely wrong.

What happened to him? Did I do something to upset him?

_**Maybe you want her, maybe you need her  
Maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another  
To another**_

* * *

**AN: Here's the new chapter! Please review! There's gonna be loads of drama from now on. Just warning you, guys. LOL!**

**IamCaroline- **thanks for reviewing! Brucas being happy is sometimes fake, isn't it? After all, our ship is masochistic. They seldom live for happiness. But nonetheless, that's what makes them lovable, right?

**onetreefan- **thanks for reviewing! I'm still thinking if I'm going to give the "Brooke taking anti- depressants" idea up or not. After all, she survived without them for a month. But let me know if that will make the story more interesting!

**bella- **thanks for reviewing! Brucas definitely deserves to enjoy sometimes, too!

**whiters- **Being in the fashion world can definitely push you to take anti- depressants. So that's kinda what happened to Brooke. I kinda envisioned the "Jenna and Matt in the playground" scene in 13 Going on 30 for that chapter. I had fun writing that! Thanks for the review!

**brookenlucas4eva03- **thanks for reviewing!

**Sophia-Chad- **Thanks for the review! I know y'all would like some happy Brucas!

**BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE- **Brucas will always be adorable, in every way. LOL! Thanks for reviewing!

**Bazzle- **thanks for putting me in your alert. Please do drop a review sometime! Thanks!

**Keep reading and reviewing, guys! Nice job! REVIEW! LOL!**

_Song: All At Once by The Fray_

**--cheery**


	10. Bleeding Love

I woke up with a splitting headache. I adjusted my eyes to the bright sunlight cascading in my bedroom. Damn! Was I hit by a truck or something? Oh, yah! I was hit by a truck; a truck named Jacob. I slammed my forehead with my palm as yesterday's events came flashing in my head- take note that was an unforced reaction. I shook my head in disbelief at what's happening to me right now. I pushed the thoughts out of my head. I'm not going to let this ruin my day. I'm not going to think of it as much as possible.

Uggghhh! That "Jacob" guy is so infuriating! Who does he think he is, anyway? Why was Brooke so excited to see him? Should I believe Victoria?

Wait a minute. I thought I am going to think about this as little as possible? With as much determination I can muster, I pulled myself out of the bed, nursing my terrible headache, and went to answer the door. I opened it and was greeted by the last person I want to see today. Great! So much for not thinking about it!

_**Closed off from love  
I didn't need the pain  
Once or twice was enough  
And it was all in vain  
Time starts to pass  
Before you know it you're frozen**_

"**Hi, Lucas!" **Brooke greeted oh- so cheerily, as she entered the house uninvited.

"**Did I call you to come over here or something? And please do me a favor, speak softly." **I said as I creased my forehead, trying to think if I asked Brooke to come over.

"**Grouchy, much? Aren't you graced with my presence?"**

"**Not really." **I muttered very softly.

"**What was that?"**

"**Nothing. Brooke, I have a terrible headache and I'm suffering from the worst hangover. And you came here at a very bad timing. What exactly do you want?"**

"**Rough night, huh?" **She peeked the bedroom and saw some beer cans lying around.

"**Brooke, thank you for stating the obvious. But FYI, you're not helping. And you still haven't answered my question."**

"**Fine, Oscar the Grouch. I was just here to ask why you left so suddenly yesterday. You were looking very broody when you left, Broody."**

"**What are you talking about? I'm always broody." **I said, acting innocent.

"**Sure you were. But did I mention that you looked angry, too?"**

"**OK. This was a bad idea. What is this really about, Broke? If you wanna say something, say it. I'm not really in the mood for a mind game right now."**

"**OK. I'm gonna be real blunt about it, ok? Can you handle it?"**

"**It couldn't be worse than a hangover, right? Bring it on."**

"**Is this about Jacob?"**

The mere mention of his name sent a lot of needles poking my head. Damn it! That guy really is trouble!

"**Ouch, Brooke! My head hurts! When you told me you're going to be blunt, I was not expecting you to be **_**this **_**blunt. Couldn't you be more subtle for a man who is suffering from a hangover? Damn it! My head!"**

"**I'm sorry! That was the only way I could put it. So? Did Jacob's presence cause your sudden disappearance?"**

"**Can you explain how is he involved in this?"**

"**Number one, we were in really good terms that morning- well, that was until I saw Jacob. Number two, you are acting really grouchy today as I'm asking you."**

"**Well, that's because, in case you haven't noticed and I haven't told you yet, I have the worst hangover right now."**

"**And for reason number one?"**

"**Is it such a crime that I left so suddenly?"  
**

"**Fine. If you don't want to answer my questions, I'll answer my questions myself. You can't seem to wrap your hung-over head around the fact that you may be threatened by Jacob's presence. Maybe that's why you left immediately, while looking so broody and angry."**

"**ME?! Intimidated by him?! Now where did come from?!" **I said defensively.

"**Since you're acting so defensive while I'm talking to you right now; plus the fact that you don't want to answer any questions about him."**

"**OK. Let's put it this way. I'm going to bring the ball back to your court. Why would I be intimidated of him? Who is he to you?" **I said, challenging her. Let's see how she's going to get out of this one.

"**Well, Jacob is my…he's my…well, technically, he's my…" **she said, feeling quite uneasy.

"**Well? Jacob is your what?" **I bit my tongue on the inside as I waited for her answer.

"**Jacob is my…f-f-friend." **I breathed out a sigh of relief. But could she really be saying the truth?

_**Closed off from love  
I didn't need the pain  
Once or twice was enough  
And it was all in vain  
Time starts to pass  
Before you know it you're frozen**_

"**Thank God." **I said out loud.

"**For what?"**

"**Oh…ummm…well…you see, ummm…my headache's gone! Amazing, right? The wonders that your voice could do to my headache!" **I said, relieved that she bought it.

"**Uh- huh. Whatever. I'm really sorry if I kinda left you in the middle yesterday. It's just that, I was really glad to see him, and I missed him so much. You do understand that, right?"**

"**Me? Oh. Of course. Of course. Why wouldn't I? After all, he's a friend, right?"**

"**Right." **She said uneasily. Suddenly her phone went ringing. She put it on a loud speaker.

"**Hello?"**

"_Ms. Davis?"_

"**Yes? What's wrong this time, Jess?"**

"_Nothing, actually. There's a Jacob here that wants to talk to you."_

"**Put him in."**

"_HI, Brooke."  
_

"**Hi, Jacob."**

"_I was wondering what time you'd get in the office."  
_

"**I'm on my way. Why?"**

"_I was thinking of taking you out for lunch."_

"**Lunch?"**

_**But I don't care what they say  
I'm in love with you  
They try to pull me away  
But they don't know the truth  
My heart's crippled by the vein  
That I keep on closing  
You cut me open and I**_

She looked at me, as if asking my approval. Does it matter that much?

"Go." I mouthed at her. Wait! No! NO! Don't say that! Take it back! Damn it, Luke! You just made your life living hell!

Before I can find myself taking the word back, she's already saying yes.

"**Sure. Pick me up at around 1? Oh, wait. You're already there in the office, right?"  
**

"_I'll be back by 1. I have to run an errand, anyway. I'll come back."_

"**Ok. See you."**

"_Uh, Brooke, just a word of advice. You might want to get in here as soon as possible 'cause Victoria's already biting everyone's heads off looking for you. I might be next."_

"**Are you kidding? She loves you."**

"_Not anymore, I think."_

"**I'm on my way. I'll be there in a flash."**

"_See you."_

She shut her phone off and smiled at me apologetically.

_**Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love  
I keep bleeding  
I keep, keep bleeding love  
Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love  
You cut me open**_

"**I'm sorry you have to hear that."**

"**It's fine."**

"**And thanks for being cool about this whole 'Jacob thingy.' You're sure you're not awkward with it?"**

"**Me? Awkward with it? What are you talking about? It's fine." **Liar!

"**Ok, good. So to make up for what I did, how would you like to go to a bar with me tonight?"**

"**Our-first-date-go-to-the-bar-with-me kind?"**

"**Nope. It's more like let's-go-to-the-bar-as-friends type."**

"**Damn it! I liked the first one better!"**

"**You're kidding, right?"**

"**Just kidding, Cheery. So, just the two of us?"**

"**Positive."**

"**No intruders?"**

"**I'll try to do so."**

"**Then I'm in."**

"**Yah?"**

"**Yah. I'm free, anyways."**

"**So, meet me at One bar. 8-ish?"**

"**I'll be there."**

"**You better not run out on me again, Broody."**

"**Not dreaming of it, Cheery. You'll be stuck with me for a while."**

"**I'll hold your word that. I, on the other hand, will not be holding you for some more. I should probably go to the office now, before my employees are dead."**

"**Ok. See you later, Pretty Girl."**

"**See ya, Scott!"**

Ok. So this morning was eventful. I had the worst headache in the whole history of my life. Then Brooke was in here. Then Jacob called and I heard his unconventional way of inviting Brooke to lunch. Then my ears flared because Brooke agreed, due to my stupid act. It gives me the creeps just by thinking about it! And no Brooke has left. Burt not before inviting me to the bad with her tonight! It's going to be just me and here. No intruders- meaning no Jacob. It made me smile just by thinking about it. Ok, fine. I'm not just happy. I'm beyond ecstatic right now! It's like our first date all over again! Well, minus the tattoo, pool, and making out in the back parts. We don't know about that yet, it might happen again. Woah, Scott! You're getting ahead of yourself! All I know is that this night will be fun. And the fact that she initiated it means she wants to hang out.

_**Trying hard not to hear  
But they talk so loud  
Their piercing sounds fill my ears  
Try to fill me with doubt  
Yet I know that the goal  
Is to keep me from falling**_

* * *

I looked at my watch as I entered the bar. 8: 07 PM. Damn it! I'm late! I stopped by the bartender, and looked around the crowd. I was taken aback when I saw Brooke- her cheery, dimpled face coming out of the ladies' room. As always, my breath was taken away, and my heart is beating as if it's going to pop out. I would never ever get over that feeling, wouldn't I?

"**Hey, Luke." **She said as we hugged.

"**I missed this. I missed you."**

"**You missed me? We just saw each other this morning."**

"**Well, you're not that hard to miss."**

"**Really, huh? Then I feel the same way. Believe it or not, I am looking forward to this ever since this morning. Good thing time flies fast."**

"**So what do you want to do?"**

"**I don't know. Dance, maybe."**

"**Then lead the way, Cheery."**

We haven't even stepped an inch when someone came in front of us. It was Jacob. What the hell is he doing here?

_**But nothing's greater  
Than the rush that comes with your embrace  
And in this world of loneliness  
I see your face  
Yet everyone around me  
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe**_

"**Brooke?"**

"**Jacob? What are you doing here?"**

"**I could ask you the same. Who is he?'**

"**Right. Jacob, meet Lucas. Lucas, this is Jacob."**

"**Hey, you're the guy with Brooke in the office yesterday, right?"**

"**Yes. That's me." **I was starting to get annoyed. Did Brooke invite him here? I lowered my head to whisper to Brooke.

"**I thought no intruders."**

She looked nervously at me.

"**Jacob, can I talk to you for a sec? Be right back, Lucas."**

Then, off they went. I sighed and turned my head to the bartender.

"**One scotch, on the rocks."**

_**And it's draining all of me  
Oh they find it hard to believe  
I'll be wearing these scars  
For everyone to see**_

This is gonna be a long night.

* * *

We rounded at a corner near the exit as I talked to Jacob.

"**Jacob, what are you doing here?"**

"**What are **_**you**_** doing here? Especially with that schmuck?"**

"**Ok. Number one, I asked you first, so you answer first. Number two, that guy that I am with right now has a name. It's Lucas and he is not a schmuck. Wait a minute, are you drunk? You smell like gin."**

"**I drank a couple of shots. No big deal. The big deal right now is why you're out with him."**

"**Why are you mad? You're not usually like this."**

"**I can be mad whenever I want. Now answer my question."**

"**He's a friend, ok? He's an old friend- just like what we are. Don't go overprotective on me, Jacob. You're not my boyfriend."**

"**Brooke, I've been courting you for the past months. Can't you still yes?"**

"**Jacob, we'll talk about this some other time- when you're sober. And if you will excuse me, I have to get back to Lucas. Unlike some of us, we are here to have a good time." **I said as I began to walk away. But Jacob's strong hands caught me and put me against the wall. His eyes were dark and aggressive, like it wasn't him at all.

_**I don't care what they say  
I'm in love with you  
They try to pull me away  
But they don't know the truth  
My heart's crippled by the vein  
That I keep on closing  
You cut me open and I**_

"**It's either you say yes now, or I'll make matters worse."**

"**Jacob, let go of me."**

"**I need an answer, Brooke."**

When I didn't say anything, Jacob grabbed my face and kissed my forcefully. I didn't respond and I pushed him away as hard as I could to let me go, but they were just too strong. Then my instinct to slap him entered my head- and it worked. He snapped out of his thoughts and touched the cheek I have just slapped. I pushed him away from me and brushed back the tears that have formed in my eyes.

"**Don't you ever dare to touch me, or talk to me again!" **I said angrily as I pointed a finger at him.

The first person that I thought of was Lucas. I looked around the crowd and noticed that he was gone. I pulled my phone out and called him. After a few rings, he answered.

"**Lucas, where--"**

"**So much for being friends, huh?" **He said, and then hung up.

Did he see the kiss? Worry washed over me, and realized that I am in deep trouble with Lucas.

_**Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love  
I keep bleeding  
I keep, keep bleeding love  
Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love**_

* * *

**AN: Sorry for not updating sooner! Please, please forgive me! Anyways, please review this one!**

**Sophia-Chad- **loving the drama, huh? LOL! Thanks for the review!

**BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE- **We aren't sure yet who is Jacob. But you will find out very soon! Thanks for the review!

**IamCaroline- **Shockers, shockers, shockers! LOL! That is what this fic is all about! LOL! Lucas is definitely sure of what he wants right now, but does Brooke know what she wants? We'll see. Thanks for the review!

**hoeoverbros- **Thanks for calling my story 'amazing!' Thanks! Thanks for putting me in your alerts!

**bella- **We're not sure who's telling the truth. Victoria or Brooke? But you'll know very soon. Does Lucas have some competition? Thanks for the review!

**onetreefan- **I love your ideas! Seriously! I might use some of them, credits will go to you, of course. Thanks for the wonderful ideas and review!

**brookenlucas4eva03- **I will definitely keep you posted as long as you keep on reviewing. Deal? LOL! Thanks for the review!

_Song: Bleeding Love by Leone Lewis_

**--cheery**


	11. Whatever It Takes

I hurriedly grabbed my purse and jacket, and headed towards the exit of the bar. I have to find Lucas. After that call I've had with him, I knew that he saw it. The anger, sadness, and remorse altogether proved me that he saw it. He wasn't meant to see it. In fact, the while kiss wasn't meant to happen. If only that ass of a Jacob didn't show up his face, and caused trouble. Things were beginning to become normal for us again. I was learning to open up to him again. With each day I have spent with him, my days got better. I wake up every morning knowing that I will have to see him again. This, at all, is the sole reason I wake up happily. The hole in my heart, which has grown bigger and hollower through the years, suddenly disappeared. It didn't even heal. It was as if it hadn't been there at all. It is as if I was back in Tree Hill; back to my high school days; back to when it has always been his name that my heart keeps shouting, beating, and living for; back when it was just me and him. My frequent hallucinations were replaced with happy voices reminding me to calm myself and my heart down because the mere sight of him drives me nuts. Sleepless nights and nightmares turned to peaceful nights and dreams which seem to be more of a reality. I find myself smiling everytime I wake up. But, as of now, all of those were erased as the bad things start to haunt me again.

_**A strangled smile fell from your face  
It kills me that I hurt you this way  
The worst part is that I didn't even know  
Now there's a million reasons for you to go  
But if you can find a reason to stay**_

The hole in my heart seems to have resurfaced. It was just covered, not truly gone. I can just imagine Lucas' face when he saw it. His eyebrows are knitted in confusion. His forehead creased with anger. His eyes turning a dark shade of blue; shooting with balls of fury. His hair is probably sticking in all direction after running his hand through it a hundred times. His whole expression is just enough to send you on a guilt trip because of the hurt and anger etched on it. I figured that it would be best if I just let the night pass, act innocent through the night, and talk to him tomorrow. But my will said otherwise. I knew I had to talk to him. He's trying to prove really hard that I deserve him. It's just me who's the problem. And now, it's up to me to make things better- if that's even possible. He deserves that much.

As I knock on the door, I have no idea what to do and expect. Should I smile? Should I say hi? Is this a bad idea?

"**Hi."**

_**I'll do whatever it takes  
To turn this around  
I know what's at stake  
I know that I've let you down  
And if you give me a chance  
Believe that I can change  
I'll keep us together whatever it takes**_

* * *

I sat in front of the TV, watching some cartoon crap. I'm not really paying attention to it. My head is still inside that damn bar, the scene replaying in my head non- stop like a motion picture. The picture just gets clearer and clearer the more I think about it. The higher my anger gets as I remember it so vividly, and it's becoming a memory I have no plans of keeping.

I was worried where she and Jacob talked. I had to make sure she was ok. I scanned the crowd and didn't even see a sign of her or Jacob. I checked the back to see if they were talking in a quieter spot. I went up the second floor to see if they were there; but they weren't. My mind was racing. Worry and anxiety were so evident on my face. I will never ever forgive myself, nor Jacob, is something happens to her. Don't he dare lay a finger on her! Defeated, I made my way to the guard to ask if he saw either of them. I stopped dead on my tracks as I saw them kissing. Jacob's mouth on her; hers on his. Anger was the first feeling that washed over me. I curled my hands into balls of fists, my jaw clenched, and my heart seemed to have stopped pumping blood as I felt myself shake with fury. Not taking it anymore, I walked as fast as I could towards the exit. I even walked past them, but neither of them noticed since I purposefully walked with all my speed. As if the kiss wasn't enough, Brooke even called me on my phone! The nerve! I spoke before she even finished her sentence, and hung up. OK, so maybe that was harsh. But, at this point, I don't really care. I don't care anymore! I can't stop myself from feeling angry. I am only containing myself at this very minute because I might destroy more than I intend to if I let my anger out. My senses are closed to any explanations and/ or apologies. Nothing could get through me. The damage is done.

Then, the doorbell rang. I'm not in the mood to answer it; nor am I in the mood to see anyone. But I stood up to answer it anyways. I breathed in and out to prevent myself from attacking the innocent creature that is on the opposite side of the door.

I opened it and felt my claws coming back and crawling on the bones of my fists like Wolverine. I heard myself hiss by itself as if I'm ready to attack anytime. But it was Brooke- the one person who could break my defenses down even though I'm feeling angry. I felt myself stiffen, and my eyes darkened at the sight of her.

"**Hi." **She said softly. I stood there motionless, and she came in the house without my invitation.

"**What are you doing here? Are you here to tell me that you and your Jacob got engaged? Oh, wait! You're just friends, right? Friends can't get engaged, unless they're not **_**just**_** friends," **I said with heavy sarcasm.

"**What are you saying?"**

"**Oh, come on! Don't act all innocent on me! You and Jacob aren't just friends, are you?"**

"**I thought we talked about that this morning?"  
**

"**But we haven't, have we? God, Brooke! Fine! If you're still playing dumb, I'll say it! I saw you kiss him. There! I said it! Maybe that would knock some sense into you."**

"**I figured."**

"**That's it?! You figured?! 'Oh, Lucas! I figured you saw Jacob and I kiss. Let's forget about and move on.' Is that what you're trying to say? Huh, Brooke?!"**

""**God! Luke! You got it all wrong!"**

"**What did I get wrong? The part where you and Jacob **_**aren't **_**just friends? Don't worry. I got that part. You even gave me a visual of that, didn't you?!"**

"**NO! Jacob and I are just friends for the umpteenth time! And we didn't kiss, for your information. He kissed me. But I didn't kiss him back."**

"**Sure you didn't."**

"**I didn't! Why don't you believe that?!"**

"**Because it looked pretty darn clear to me that you were kissing him back! My vision is not that impaired, thank you very much."**

"**I was not kissing him back! He kissed me forcefully!"**

"**Then why didn't you push him away?"**

"**I did. But he was too strong."**

"**That's got to be the lamest excuse I have ever heard! Should I believe that?"  
**

"**What kind of a question it that? Of course you have to believe that! That's the truth! If you trust me enough, you'll believe it."**

"**But you broke that trust, didn't you?"**

_**She said "If we're gonna make this work  
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts  
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"  
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be  
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"**_

"**What?"**

"**Never mind that. If that's the truth, then what do you call the whole' Jacob- and- I- are- just- friends' thing? Is that also the truth?"**

"**I told you! It's true! You're infuriating!"**

"**That's not what Victoria told me."**

"**My mom told you something?!"**

"**She said Jacob's your boyfriend."**

"**She said that?! And you believed her?!"**

"**Well, right now, she seems more credible than what you are to me."**

"**Fine! You still don't believe me?! I'll say it! Jacob and I aren't just friends. We have a complicated relationship!"**

"**It's nothing complicated 'til you complicate it."**

"**This is gonna be harder than I thought. How do I explain this? Jacob and I met when I started Clothes Over Bros. Victoria introduced me to him. She wanted us to get married. She fixed it for us. I objected and said she has to wait for a whole until Clothes Over Bros becomes successful. We became friends- with- benefits."**

"**Why am I not surprised?!"  
**

"**You have to shut up. Then I realized what we're doing is wrong, so we started over. Now, he's on the stage of courting me formally and seriously. I have to say I have feelings for him. But I just can't say yes to him."**

"**Why not? He sounds like someone you've gotten close to. And it seemed like you had no problem when it comes to kissing each other."**

"**You're being stubborn, you know that?! I can't say yes to him because he's not just you, ok? He's completely different from you. I was holding back because there is still that faint spark of hope that tells me you could come back. I waited all my life for you, Luke. I waited for you to come back. Now you're here. Don't you know how alive I became when I saw you for the first time here? All of a sudden, New York became a brighter place. I woke up everyday smiling and thinking I'm going to have to see you again. You are my life, Luke. I wish you could see that, instead of pushing me away." **She said as tears welled up in her eyes.

"**I'm pushing you away?! Great! Nice one, Brooke! I was fighting like hell to prove you I have changed, and you call that pushing you away? I might as well not fight for you, then maybe you'd take me back more willingly and you won't accuse me of pushing you away."**

"**Fine. Say what you want. Think whatever you want. You know what, stop fighting for us, too! It doesn't matter now, does it?"**

"**IF that's what you want, fine! You said that yourself! That way, you can go back to Jacob and kiss him some more."**

"**You're not going to let that go, are you?"**

"**Just like what you said, a kiss always means something."**

_**I'll do whatever it takes  
To turn this around  
I know what's at stake  
I know that I've let you down  
And if you give me a chance  
And give me a break  
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better**_

"**OH! I get it! Firing the words back to me now, huh?! Ok. If you so want to bring that time back, I'll ride along. At least you now know how I felt when you kissed Peyton- twice behind my back!"**

"**Oh, no! Don't you ever bring that up again! All of us are way over that stage."**

"**With the way you're acting now, I'm not sure you're past that."**

"**Don't bring the past to the present. I was stupid, foolish, and confused then, unlike some of us today."**

"**OH! So you think I am stupid, foolish, and confused? Maybe you're right. I am stupid to be explaining this whole damn thing to your hard- headed brain right now. I am foolish for ever letting you get **_**this**_** close to me again; for actually thinking you'd fight for us this time; for putting my trust back on you; for believing we'd be together this time. Lastly, I'm confused as to why my heart still beats for you all this time and why can't I just let others guys in so I could just move on, and forget about you. But I think I've got the answer. It's because I'm still holding on. I never once liked to let go. Just the mere idea of it sends me over the edge. I've thought about it a lot of times, but I never did it 'cause I still love you. I have been in love with you from the start. And it's hard because it seems like fate is telling us to give up, to start over without each other, and you don't have the tiniest idea how hurtful what will be."**

"**No. It's not fate that is telling you to give up. It's you who's telling yourself to give up, Brooke! I've told you endlessly that I'm not fooling you this time. I'm the guy for you! If you just let me in! Ah! This is so frustrating!"**

"**But you haven't been that guy for me, have you?"**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**I wanted the Lucas Scott to be the guy I know who would be calm, forgiving, and understanding about this. Not the one who's being very possessive of me right now."**

"**You kissed Jacob and you expect me to be calm?! You're unbelievable! Aren't you expecting a little too much of me, Brooke?"  
**

"**AH! I told you I DID NOT KISS JACOB! Get that through that little head of yours! Why would I kiss him?!"**

"**Oh, I don't know. Let's see. Hmmm…because you like him?"**

"**I do not like him! I told you that."**

"**No, that's not it. Because….the benefit of him being your friend is that he gets to kiss you?"**

"**Lucas…"**

"**Oh, wait! I know! You love him, right?"**

"**I have feelings for him. But not as hard as what I have for you."**

"**But you still love him! You said it yourself! You know what, things were getting better for us. You just have to break everything, do you?"**

"**Are you saying that I wished for this to happen?"**

"**Well, didn't you? So you won't worry getting your heart broken again? And instead, you broke mine?"**

"**I didn't wish for this happen! Hell! I wish Jacob didn't come back at all so that things wouldn't get screwed like this."**

"**Well, it didn't look like you didn't want him back the day you saw him."**

"**Why are you even pushing me to Jacob?!"**

"**I'm not pushing you to him."**

"**It looks pretty clear to me that's what you're doing."**

"**I'm not! Why would I even do that?!"**

"**Lucas, if you love me, trust me on this. Why is it so easy for you to believe the lie that I kissed Jacob than the truth that I didn't kiss him?"**

"**Because I don't even know if I should trust you again. After what I saw. Are you calling me a liar?! Brooke, I know what I saw! I have two damn clear eyes to see what happened back there!"**

"**Your eyes saw that, but your brain interpreted it wrong. If by liar you mean saying things that aren't the truth, then you're a liar!"  
**

"**I can't believe this! I saw the kiss and you're calling me a liar! Great! Just what I need! All hail Lucas Scott, the visually- impaired liar! Thanks, Brooke!"**

"**I do not even get why you're angry at me to begin with."**

"**I will pretend you did not say that."**

"**No. I'll be straightforward. Why are you angry?"**

"**Why am I angry?! You should ask why aren't I furious! You should ask why I'm not beating that Jacob up right now! You should ask why am I even here, talking to you about this! Are you kidding, Brooke?! Do you have the slightest idea what I'm feeling right now? No! Scratch that! Do you even have the tiniest but of clue what that kiss made me feel? Huh? Do you?!"**

"**What?"**

"**You don't get it, do you?"  
**

"**Lucas, if you would stop speaking in figures, and actually in layman's term, I might actually get it!"**

"**I felt defeated, Brooke! I felt replaced! You kissed him or nit, I don't give a damn! I have been fighting for us for so long, and you're angry at me?! He's known you for what? Months? A year? And he gets to kiss you? While I, I have known you almost all my life and you get angry if I kiss you all of a sudden? What the hell?!"**

_**But remember the time I told you the way that I felt  
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself  
Let's hold onto each other above everything else  
Start over, start over**_**  
**

"**So the issue here is that he gets to kiss me, and you don't?! Fine! Kiss me right now, Lucas Scott! Give me your best shot!"**

"**I don't believe this. It's not even about that! It's about how you can't let me in, while it's so easy for you to let others in."**

"**Then what do you want me to do? Erase this?"**

"**No. There's no possible way for you to make this better. You might even aggravate it. Suppose it's the other way around, I'm sure you would have felt the same."**

"**Finally! Now you know how I felt when you kissed Peyton twice!"**

"**This doesn't make a difference."**

"**You know the difference? The difference is when you kissed Peyton- twice- I was in love with you. I was your damn girlfriend! I was insanely in love with you! I had every right to be angry. But right now, Jacob kissed me, and you're furious? Who are you, anyway?! You aren't even my boyfriend. You're **_**just my friend**_**."**

My head suddenly shot up when she said those words. She, too, looked surprised at what she said. I felt the all my blood rush to my face. I stiffened. My face hardened. My whole body went rigid, like a wall that's unbreakable. My eyes became dark. My limbs went numb. The whole surrounding went quiet. You would even hear a pin drop. My face showed more fury and anger, while Brooke's showed fear and regret. Gathering all the calmness I still have with me, o stood up and opened the door. She has crossed the line and I'm not sure I can hold myself any longer if she stays here.

"**I think you should go." **I said coldly.

"**Lucas, I'm--"**

"**Go, Brooke."**

"**NO, I want to ex--"**

"**Don't waste a breath on me. I think you've said what you have to say."**

"**Lucas…"**

"**I SAID GO. LEAVE." **I said, my teeth clenching together in anger. I was shaking. I can't help myself.

Brooke slowly walked towards the door, but stopped in front of me.

"**I'll call you tomorrow?"**

"**Don't even bother."**

"**Bye, Lucas." **She said softly, her voice choking.

I slammed the door shut. A loud thud echoing as the hinge closed. I don't care what happens from now on. My head is too clouded to think right. Anger is taking over me and I can't do anything about it.

_You're just my friend._ That's what she said.

She's right. I'm just a friend. Nothing more.

_**I'll do whatever it takes  
To turn this around  
I know what's at stake  
I know I've let you down  
And if you give me a chance  
And believe that I can change  
I'll keep us together whatever it takes**_

* * *

**AN: More drama! So far, we're reaching the climactic part, so brace yourselves! Please review!**

**iloveoth3- **Thanks for putting me in your alerts! Wish you could review! Thanks!

**hoeoverbros- **Please don't hate Jacob just yet! Yah, he was a darn ass in the previous chapter, but I have some good stuff in store for him. Thanks for the review!

**BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE- **Yes, Brucas does belong together! How long will they realize it? Now Brooke's got A LOT of explaining to do. Now we all know Lucas when he gets angry. Thanks for the review!

**bella- **Jacob did cross the line, Brooke is in deep trouble, and Lucas, well, someone's got to get a hold of him. We all know how he is. Just imagine 308 and 309, when he saw Brooke slept with Chris. Yikes! Trouble! Thanks for the review!

**SV- **Yay! New reader! Thanks for reading! We're not quite sure yet if Jacob is like psycho-Derek. He's under the influence of alcohol that time, _**so he says**_, so he maybe acting weird due to it. Thanks for the review!

**schu1844- **thanks for the alert! Hope you drop a review! Thanks!

**brookenlucas4eva03**- Yup. Love triangle! Move over, BLP. There's a new one. LOL! Thanks for the review!

**onetreefan- **Jacob did sound creepy. I was creeped by him, too. Well, I got to make it look as sick as possible to make it work. Yah, Lucas just saw the kissing part. Thanks for the review!

**Sophia-Chad- **You really love drama, huh? It's a good thing then, 'cause I do too! Thanks for the review!

_Song: Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse_

**--cheery**


	12. With Me

_**I don't want this moment to ever end  
Where everythings nothing without you  
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile  
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you**_

It was early in the morning. It's probably just around 5AM or something. But I don't care. I couldn't sleep, anyway. After an endless tossing and turning on the bed, I gave up. I started my daily routine- taking a bath, brushing my teeth, and breakfast- way earlier than I usually do. I have to do _**something. **_I opened my drawers and grabbed the garment that was oh- so familiar to me.

Last night- or this very early in the morning- didn't go well with Lucas. We fought endlessly and that was the first time I have seen him so angry. His eyes were so dark that you would think he was possessed by a demon or something. I am not angry at him anymore. Yah, he should believe me on the whole Jacob- kissing thing, but, right now, I don't really care if he does or not. What I'm feeling right now is more of regret.

You are just my friend. That's what I said to him. That sent him over the edge; and that really touched his nerve. I didn't mean it that way, of course. If anything, Lucas and I are not _**just**_ friends. I am just stupid and scared enough to admit that. Who am I kidding, anyways? There has always been _**something**_ with Lucas and I. Come on. We never really start on the "friends" stage. What I said to him last night was just a slip of the tongue. I was feeling so angry at him for being so stubborn that the words flew out of my mouth faster than I can think of them. I lost control. And I can't take it back.

I let my feet lead me to wherever I could go to this morning. It's 5AM and New York is so cold. Good thing I have something to warm me up. As I ponder on my thoughts, I wonder if Lucas will be able to forgive me still after that fight. I think "forgiveness" is so far from his vocabulary that him forgiving me is a wishful thinking. But I won't give up. I will do anything- everything- it takes for him to forgive me. It's my time to fight for us. He's done his part, and now it's mine.

I stopped walking and realized that I have reached my destination- his house. I took off the Keith Body Shop hoodie that I'm wearing and walked ever- so silently to his doorstep. I have no plans of waking him up or seeing him. I just want to give back something that really belongs to him. I carefully folded the hoodie, and right about I was going to put it on the doorstep, the door opened. I knew it! This was not a good idea.

_**Through it all, I made my mistakes  
I stumble and fall, but I mean these words**_

"**Lucas." **I said, startled by his presence.

"**What are you doing here, Brooke?" **his voice is still cold and angry. His eyes have a red or purplish shadow under them that it looks like he hasn't slept at all, or he was up all night crying. His eyes are still dark, the shade that shows that anger is all around him.

"**I was…I was ummm…I was in the neighborhood."**

He didn't answer.

"**Lucas, I just want to give this back. It's yours anyway."**

"**Keep it. I don't need that anymore."**

"**Lucas, it's yours."**

"**I said keep it, right?" **his voice was raising.

"**Are you still angry about last night?"**

"**Why do I have to be angry? You made it perfectly clear that we are just friends. And I was this stupid asshole to think I have a chance with you," **He sounded bitter, and every word he said stings to me.

"**Can we just talk about it again?"**

"**Goodbye, Brooke." **

_**I want you to know  
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul  
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'as I bleed my heart out to show  
And I won't let go**_

He slammed the door at my face with a loud thud. My heart broke into very fine pieces I wiped the tears that have escaped from my eyes and breathed deeply. I should've known he will be very stubborn. But I've got to show to him the truth; that there is still a chance for us and I'm going to make him realize that.

Nevertheless, I left the hoodie right at his doorstep, hoping that he'll take it. I took one last sight of the house before I went the other way, going back to my place.

I have to be strong. I have to fight.

* * *

My morning was ruined way earlier than I expect it to. I knew that sometime this day I would run into Brooke, but not this early. She even has the face to show up? I can't believe this! She was practically the one that shoved me out of her life, and she has the nerve to still show up.

I slammed the door at her face, and leaned on it. My eyes are getting blurry again as tears formed on them again. But I brushed them before they even fell down. I'm not going to cry over Brooke Davis. Not again. Not ever.

I opened the door again to see if she has gone. And she did. Something at the pit of my stomach feels sad for her disappearance again. I still love her more than ever, but why does it hurt this much? All I want to do is to touch her face and get close to her. But do I have to suffer all of this just to get that?

_**Thoughts read unspoken, forever in doubt  
Pieces of memories fall to the ground  
I know what I didn't have so, I won't let this go  
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you**_

Should I give up? This was the question that has been lingering in my mind all this time. I told I will fight for us, but what if she's the one who doesn't like me to fight? The whole "Jacob- kissing" is way past us now. I forgive for that, and I believe her. But her last statement is what enraged me more. After all this time, we are just friends? She and I know that we're not just friends. There still an undefined relationship between us, but that is definitely not friendship. But with what she said yesterday, I wonder if she thinks friends are all we can be. The thought pains me. I sighed and took the hoodie with me and went inside the house.

Is this the end? Is this our coda?

_**All the streets where I walked alone, with nowhere to go  
I've come to an end**_

* * *

I entered the office, with Jess following me.

"**You have a meeting with Macy's today at 12 noon. Then a meeting with Alberta Ferretti will follow, regarding her line for the Fashion Week. Then at 5, you will meet up with the editor- in- chief of Vanity Fair because they're asking you to be the cover for next month's issue. At 7, Victoria asked you to--"**

"**Jess, cancel all my meeting for today."**

"**What? You have a bunch- packed set of meetings of today."**

"**I know, and I want you to cancel me."**

"**Are you sure?"**

"**Yes."**

Then Victoria came to us.

"**What is this I hear about canceling all the meetings for today?"**

"**I want to cancel all meetings for today."**

"**Because?"**

"**Because I'm not feeling well."**

"**Whatever, Brooke. Jessica, if Brooke doesn't want to attend the meetings, I will. Have the car ready."**

Then Victoria left. She sure is pissed at me.

"**Ms. Davis, are you sure that you want Victoria to do the meetings?"**

"**Whatever, Jess. Do whatever she wants."**

I stormed off into my office and slammed the door behind me. I was startled by the presence of someone sitting on my office couch.

_**I want you to know  
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul  
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'as I bleed my heart out to show  
And I won't let go**_

It was Jacob.

"**What are you doing here, Jacob?" **I asked, irritated.

"**Brooke, I want to apologize."**

"**Oh, right! Now you want to apologize?!"**

"**Yes. That was stupid of me. I was drunk and I lost control. But, believe me, I didn't want to do it."**

"**But you did, didn't you?! You know what, don't bother apologizing. Lucas saw it, and my relationship with him is probably wrecked forever."**

"**I know Lucas saw it."**

"**What?"**

"**I know he was there. He was probably looking for you. But I know he was there."**

"**You knew he was there?? I can't believe you! You didn't tell me? Are you freakin' insane?"**

"**I was stupid, ok? I didn't tell you 'cause I'm jealous. After all the time we've known each other, I know he's the one holding you back. I've been courting you for months, but I know you can't commit because of him. You kept talking about him when I ask you about your life in Tree Hill. I know you love him after everything, no matter what."**

"**Then why did you do it?"**

"**I used it to your and my advantage, actually. I figured if I kiss you, he would react very negatively. And if he does, which he did, it's a proof he really does love you, Brooke. And kissed you because it's probably the last time I'm ever going to do it."**

"**What? What are you saying?"  
**

"**I'm going to back to Italy."**

"**What? When?"**

"**I have a flight booked for tomorrow. Don't worry, it's for good. I just wanted to apologize and say goodbye. Of course, it doesn't matter now, but I just wanted to let you know."**

"**Jake…"**

"**Don't worry, Brooke. It won't happen again. And this is the last time you'll see me again."**

"**Jacob, I forgive you for what happened. And, believe it or not, I'm going to miss you."**

"**I'll miss you too, Brooke. And I'm really, really sorry for everything. I hope everything works out with Lucas."**

"**I hope so, too. Come here. Give me one big, bear hug."**

We hugged for, probably, the last time. I'm really going to miss him. Then we pulled away.

"**I have to go. I'm meeting my parents at Central Park."**

"**Oh, ok. Have a safe flight. And I'm going to miss you."**

"**Me too. Bye."**

"**Bye, Jake."**

Jacob left. That's the last of him. Slowly, my problems are being solved. The only problem left is with Lucas.

Someone was knocking on my door. I opened it and saw Jess.

"**Jess, what's the problem?"**

"**Ms. Davis, there's a Lucas waiting for you a while ago."**

"**What? Why didn't you let him in? Where is he?"**

"**I told him to just go in your office. But he suddenly left. I don't know why."**

"**Oh my gosh." **I said slowly. Oh my gosh! He's seen that hug with Jacob! He must have misinterpreted it again!

"**Jess, I have to go." **

I grabbed my purse and immediately headed for the elevator. No! I'm not going to ruin this again.

_**In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies  
When you don't know what you're looking to find  
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies  
When you just never know what you will find**_

I reached Lucas' house as fast as I can, and knocked on his door furiously. I must explain this to him! He thought wrong!

When no one answered, I pulled out my phone and called him. He's not answering it. I left him a million messages but he hasn't returned to any. I sadly walked back to the office, in hopes of seeing him there.

* * *

I can't believe this! First they kissed, and now they're hugging?! Is Brooke kidding me? I can't believe her! I thought she and Jacob are only friends!

I sat on of the stools on One bar, the bar where Brooke and I decided to go one night, only to find out it was I was getting the worst night of my life.

I toyed with the glass of my scotch as many questions entered my head. I can't stand to see those two again! It's my first glass, and I have no intentions of getting drunk, unless I lost control.

"**I knew I'd find you here." **A guy's voice spoke to me. I looked and it was Jacob.

"**Great! Just the person I wanted to see." **I said with heavy sarcasm.

"**Lucas, I have to apologize."**

"**What for?"**

"**For kissing Brooke."**

"**Why do you have to apologize to me?"**

"**Because I was way out of line. It wasn't right for me to kiss her."**

"**Why are you apologizing to me? It's not like we have something."**

"**I know. I know. But I know you and Brooke love each other very much."**

_**I don't want this moment to ever end  
Where everything's nothing without you**_

"**Nah. We're just friends."**

"**That's what you say. But we all know it's more than that."**

"**What are you saying? Brooke said it herself. We are **_**just**_** friends."**

"**And you're ok with that?"**

"**Not really. How about you? What's up with you and Brooke?"**

"**We're just friends."**

"**Right."**

"**No, really. We're just friends."**

"**That's not what it looked like to me. First you kissed, then you hugged. Wow. That's…friendly."**

"**Ok. Let me get those things clear. I kissed Brooke. But she didn't kiss me. She was actually pushing me away."**

"**What the hell, man?! She was pushing you away! Why didn't you let go?!"  
**

"**I saw you there."**

"**You knew I was there?!"  
**

"**Yes."**

"**Then why? Are you retarded or something?"  
**

"**I kissed her to prove something to the 3 of us. That kiss proved you that you are insanely in love with Brooke that's why you reacted that way. That kiss proved me that Brooke's not in love with me, and that I have no chances with her. That kiss proved her that she still loves you, after everything."**

"**Wow. You're a lot smarter than I give you credit for."**

"**Thanks. And you love her more than I give you credit for."**

"**You have no idea, man. And the hug?"**

"**I was just saying goodbye to her. I'm going back to Italy first thing in the morning. Wait, you saw that?"  
**

"**Yup. I was in Brooke's office to patch things up with her. Then I saw the two of you hugging."**

"**And you thought we're together."**

"**Yes. Well, you can't blame me. You two looked pretty cozy."**

"**Don't worry. Nothing is going on between me and Brooke. Just friends. So what now?"**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**What do you plan to do with Brooke? Come on. You just can't ignore her."**

"**I have no idea, actually."**

"**Have you checked your phone?"**

I pulled it out and saw that I have 20 voice messages.

"**20 messages?! That's big, man."**

"**I know. And they're all from Brooke."**

"**Can't you see?! She still loves you! She's just afraid, considering your history and all. But she cares for you, so much."**

"**How do you know?"**

"**Well, she won't commit to me because she's holding back. She's hoping for you. And whenever I ask her about her life in Tree Hill, she always tells the parts where they include you. You have no idea, man. Lucas this, and Lucas that. I was close to thinking that she's obsessed or something."**

"**Really? She did that?"**

"**Yup. She loves you, big time!"**

"**Wow. So what am I supposed to do?"**

"**You're dumb, Lucas! Really!"**

"**Wow. Thanks. I feel so much better."**

"**Go get your girl, man!"**

"**You think?"**

"**I know. Come on! You've been chasing each other all your lives. And I think it's time that you get together. Don't you think you owe that to yourselves?"**

"**Yah. I think so, too. Thanks, Jacob. You really helped me a lot."**

"**No problem, man. Anything for Brooke. But if you screw this up, --"**

"**Not dreaming of it."**

I hurriedly went out of the bar and headed to Brooke's office.

I'm going to get my girl back.

_**I want you to know  
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul  
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'as I bleed my heart out to show  
And I won't let go **_

* * *

**AN: Sorry for waiting, guys! I was so busy this weekend! Well, I did you guys a favor. Jacob's gone. Good news, right? And I smell a Brucas reunion! LOL! But first, review!**

**iloveothmica- **Hi, Mica! Thanks for reviewing! Yah, it's so intense! Both of them have a point! How's your Twilight? BTW, thanks for the alerts!

**hoeoverbros-**the truth hurts, doesn't it? Well, Brooke will explain what she meant in this chapter. Thanks for the review!

**BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE-**frustrating, right? Both their minds are just so messed up! LOL! Thanks for the review!

**brookenlucas4eva03**- Thanks for the review! Karma bit Lucas on the butt! LOL!

**Sophia-Chad- **Awww…you cried? I think Lucas has realized that, there's another problem, though- what Brooke said. Thanks for the review!

**onetreefan- **I feel so honored with what you said! Thank you! And Brucas will be broken no more…LOL! Thanks for the review!

**whiters- **I haven't heard from you in a long while! I love angst, too! That the most prominent thing in my stories. Lucas is just so messed up! Thanks for the review!

**bella- **Yah, overreact, much?! LOL! But that's Lucas! He's stupid and he really makes you angry. Thanks for the review!

_Song: With Me by Sum 41_

**--cheery **


	13. Who's to Say

_**Stand up straight  
Do your trick  
Turn on the stars  
Jupiter shines so bright  
When you're around they tell us slow down,  
We're too young you need to grow  
The speed's the key  
And they don't know who we are**_

It was nighttime when I reached the office. Everybody was gone, but I didn't really care. My head was still clouded with Lucas' disappearance. I was sure he saw that hug. He wasn't answering any of my calls. He was not in his house. I have looked for him everywhere. I didn't have the slightest clue as to where he could be. I even went to Central Park to see if he was there, but he wasn't. Where could that boy be?

My body was feeling numb. I couldn't feel anything. It was as if I was paralyzed or something. Worry was the only thing I am accustomed to feeling right now. Other than that, no emotions filled my heart. How could I be so stupid? I have made the same mistake- twice! What was worse was that he had to see that. I have no idea how I will make him believe that those things didn't mean anything. Nothing could get through his head.

I thought this is what I wanted. I wanted him to come back. I wanted us to be together. I wanted us to build a family I have long wanted. I wanted us to be _**us**_ again. I have it. Then I _**had**_ it. There was my chance. It was an inch away from me; waiting for me to grasp and take it. But I didn't. Instead, I pushed it away- far, far away. Back in Tree Hill, whenever I was with Jamie, I kept on wishing that I could have a child of my own. I wanted someone to play with, cuddle with, and someone to take care of. I wanted that future, too. I wanted that future with Lucas. I couldn't imagine any other guy I would have it with except for him.

Now, it seemed like that chance will happen once in a blue moon. I looked around me. This is Clothes Over Bros. This is my dream. This _**was**_ my dream. Now I have it. But why was I feeling incomplete? Sure, this was the dream I thought I would never fulfill. But now that I did, I was still not happy. I am 23 years old. I can't believe that someone aged 23 would have everything she wants- well, except for me, of course. It was like my life has come to an end. I have Clothes Over Bros. I am successful. I am rich. I am popular. But I didn't have a family with the boy I only, and truly love- the one thing that my heart aches for right now. If I'm not going to get it, I might as well die right now. I'd rather be dead than feel this heartache in me. I'd rather die than suffer all these pain. Don't I deserve to be completely happy just this once? Is my life meant to be all about pain and failure? I guess so.

I went inside my office and sat on my chair. Tears were starting to cloud my eyes, but I brushed them back. It was hard to believe that tears could still form through my eyes when it felt like they have run out after the endless times that I have cried. I blinked my eyes a few times, and they were gone. They were gone like magic. After many experiences of putting a mask on and a brave face for the media and cameras, preventing my tears from falling is a piece of cake. All my problems are bottled up inside, and it seemed to be better that way. Everyone thought that Brooke Davis is the happiest person in the world. She has everything- money, fame, looks, and popularity- she wants. No one had seen through my mask; that behind that pretty face lay a broken, and an incomplete heart. I tried to put on a smile and a brave face. No one would have to see Brooke Davis so broken. After all, this was the impression I have built for everyone to see and believe. It's nothing a tablet of anti- depressants can't cure. But, no. I have promised Lucas that I would not take them anymore. Though the temptation to reach into my drawer, open the bottle, and take on was so irresistible. At least, if I'm not going to do this for me, I'm going to do it for _**him**_.

Where was my knight in shining armor? He promised to be here for me. He promised to save me. He promised to fight for me. Where was he when I needed all the fighting and saving I could get?

_**And who's to say that we're not good enough?  
And who's to say that this is not our love?**_

My door suddenly flew open and inside came a raging Victoria Davis.

"**Brooke Penelope Davis! Where the hell have you been?"**

"**I was out." **I said simply, not really wanting to argue with her at this very moment.

"**Yes, I could see that you were out. I am not that stupid. But you know very well what I mean."**

"**I was out. I needed some fresh air."**

"**That is such an unreasonable excuse."**

"**Victoria, you're not the only one who gets crowded with too much work in here."**

"**You're crowded from too much work?! Are you serious?! Brooke, you have been absent from all the meetings these past few days. What work are you telling me?!"  
**

"**I was busy working my ass of on new designs for the new line."**

"**Then, where is it? I want to see it right now."**

"**It's in the house." **I lied. The truth is, I was hardly sketching some new designs."

"**Right. In the house. You have been barely in the house. You were always out, doing God knows what."**

"**Why do you care, huh?" **I challenged. I strode off that topic.

"**Why do I care? Brooke, I am your mother! And you made me CEO of this company! That's why I care!"  
**

"**Oh. I get this. Well, then, congratulations! You have just been recognized as the most outstanding employee of Clothes Over Bros." **I said sarcastically.

"**You think this is about that? Brooke, our company is slowly losing it's money because of your poor decisions. It's about time someone steps up and be responsible around here."**

"**And I suppose that someone is you?"**

"**Brooke, you have been MIA these past few days. What do you want us to do? Sit here, wait for you 'til your senses come back, and watch the company- **_your_** company- drown? Honey, you know I don't like that to happen to you." **She said, lying through her teeth.

_**Mother don't tell me friends are the ones that I lose  
'Cause they'd bleed before you  
And sometimes family are the ones you'd choose  
It's too late now  
I hold on to this life I found**_

"**Cut the crap, Victoria. You don't have kiss my ass just to tell me what you want. I put you in the CEO position. Isn't that enough? Cut the acting, and let's get on with it. Bring it on!"  
**

"**Brooke, I am still your mother! And you have no right to speak to me like that! Watch your words, young lady."**

"**Oh, right! So now you're my mother?"**

"**What are you saying? I have been with you all this time, and that's what I get? I feel so appreciated."**

"**OK. If you so badly call yourself my mom, then what are you in the first half of my life? No! Where were you in the first three- fourths of my life? Where were you when I was in highschool? Where were you when I had a pregnancy scare? Where were you when I became Student Council president? Where were you when I almost got shot because someone brought a gun to school? When I was almost expelled from school because I was caught cheating? Where were you when I graduated? Where were you when I got my heart broken for a zillion times? Now why don't you explain to me where were you during all those times?!"  
**

"**You have no idea what you're saying! Your dad and I were working our butts off just to give you what you want! We have spent late nights and early mornings just to provide our family with money for all your needs! Just a little credit, Brooke, that's all we need."**

"**Credit? Credit for what? For abandoning me as your child?! Mom, that's not what I wanted! I wanted my parents! I wanted love from my parents! Do you know how much I envy those kids at my school? They knew me as Brooke Davis- the rich and the famous slut without parents."**

"**So you're saying just because we weren't there for you that we didn't love you? That's selfish, Brooke."**

"**But you never did love me, did you? I looked up at Karen Roe as if she was my real mother. With or without money, I just wanted my parents. Is that so hard to give to your child?"**

"**Then why did you take me back?"**

"**Because I love you, ok? Because you're my mother. Because, as a family, it's my responsibility to take care of my family. But I wish I didn't."**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**I wish I didn't take you back. I was so stupid to believe that you changed, that you actually wanted us to be a family again. Apparently, I was the only one who was still hoping for that. You are still the mother I knew who lusts for money."**

"**Don't you dare say that to me! Without me, your company would be nothing. This will be nothing. You will be nothing."**

_**And who's to say we won't burn it out?  
And who's to say we won't sink in doubt?  
Who's to say that we won't fade to gray?  
Who are they anyway? Anyway they don't know**_

"**I would do just fine without you, thank you very much!"**

"**Ok. Tell me what would have been the difference if I wasn't here."**

"**I wouldn't have lost contact with my friends. And I would have been much, much happier!"**

"**You mean your friends who suck on you like leeches?"**

"**Don't you dare say that to my friends!"**

"**Why not? You and I know it's true! Face it, Brooke! You're their friend because you're rich and you're popular. They're using you."**

"**NO! My friends are my family! And they are not like that! In fact, you're the one who's using me."**

"**Look at you. The girl who's got a big company and lots of money. You've let the air get into your head, huh? You even have the guts to accuse that to your own mother!"**

"**You are not my mother! You haven't been my mother for a long time now! And don't you dare put the blame on me!"**

"**Who's to blame? Brooke, you're the one who's messing up this company. Not me."**

"**I am not messing up my own company."**

"**You haven't? You missed 7 meetings so far with famous fashion designers. A lot of papers need to be signed, but you haven't touched even one. You've been missing a lot of photoshoots for the magazine. And you haven't been attending galas and events that need your presence. What happened to you? You were not like this!"**

"**Oh. Forgive me for wanting to have a life, Victoria! Don't you think I deserve to have a good time after everything I have been through?"**

"**Brooke, you committed to this. You just can't give up on it now."**

"**Watch me! I am willing to take this all away for one thing!"**

"**You wouldn't dare!'**

**"Watch me! What? Are you scared you'll run out of money for your Christian Loubutin shoes or your Prada bags?"**

"**You're really willing to lose this all? For what, Brooke? For what cost? For the stupid boy you've been hanging out with?"**

_**And you say we're too young, but maybe you're too old to remember  
And I try to pretend but I just feel it when we're together  
And if you don't believe me, you never really knew us  
You never really knew**_

"**Don't call Lucas that! You have no idea what you're talking about!"  
**

"**Brooke, he's not worth it. How do you know he's not clinging on to you for your money? He's probably one of your money- sucking friends you met in that freaky, old town!"**

"**Enough, Victoria! Number one, you know nothing about Tree Hill. Number two, if anything, Lucas is the boy I would have gladly lost and given up all of this for! He loves me, and I love him."**

"**Love! What do you know about love, Brooke? You're 23 years old! You're young!"**

"**I may be young, but I'm old enough to make my own decisions without any parental consent. If it's Lucas that I want, you don't have any say in that!"**

"**I have every right to say what I want! You are still my daughter!"**

"**Forget you have a daughter, Victoria."**

"**What is with that boy that you're head over heels for? Look at him! He's nothing. He looks like those people who depend on their spouses for their money."**

"**Someone like you?"**

"**You have no idea what you're talking about, kid!"**

"**Lucas is the guy I have only loved! He is the guy who has been with me when you're not! He is the that I have lost twice to two different girls. But he is here. He went all the way here for me and to prove me that he loves me. Can't you just be happy for me?"**

_**You and I, packin' up my room, we feel alright  
But we're not welcome, soon  
We'll be drivin', 'cause they don't know who we are  
Who's to say we won't stay together?  
Who's to say we aren't getting stronger?  
Who's to say I can't live without you?  
Who are they anyway? Anyway they don't know**_

"**If he really loves you, think about this. Why did he pursue you now? Why now? You told me you lost him to two girls. Which was when? In highschool? Why is he pursuing you now that you're successful? Isn't that enough proof that he's only after your money?"**

"**Do not manipulate my mind, Victoria! Do not even try! It will not work. And do not say anything about Lucas and I. You know nothing about this. You've been absent for more than half of my life and you pretend that you know everything about me all of a sudden? Nice try!"**

"**Don't you get it, Brooke? That's why I introduced you to Jacob. If you want to get married, get married with Jacob. At least I know you'll have a future with him."**

"**No! At least you know that **_you_** have a future with him! Face it, Victoria. You were not thinking about me when you introduced me to him."**

"**Of course I was thinking about you! If I want you settle down with someone else, I have to make sure it's the right guy. That's what moms do."**

"**Moms let their daughter be happy with whoever she decides to marry."**

"**Trust me. You'll not be happy with that Lucas."**

"**You don't even know how happy Lucas makes me! And don't push me to Jacob."**

"**And why not? The boy is fine. The boy is rich. The boy has a future."**

"**Clearly, I'm not on your best interest when you thought about that. Stop acting like you care for me."**

"**But I do care for you, Brooke. You are still my daughter."**

"**No, Victoria! You care about yourself. You think about yourself. You worry for yourself. You work for yourself. Stop pretending. You never really thought about me. It's always been like that- yourself and money. It's always been about the money! That's why you pushed dad to work, even though it meant leaving me alone. You never even thought of me- just yourself! You are the most selfish, self- centered, and narcissistic woman I have ever known! And I am ashamed to call you my mother!" **I shouted at her as tears sprung to my eyes. I couldn't even help the words. They were coming out on their own.

_**And you say we're too young, but maybe you're too old to remember  
And I try to pretend, but I just feel it when we're together  
Who is to say?  
And who is to say?  
And who are they anyway?**_

Victoria was stunned. She was red all over. Her nostrils flared. Her eyes widened. Her hands were curled into fists. Her body was rigid, almost like a statue. Then, ever so slowly, she lifted her hand. A booming sound was heard- like something just collided with something.

It was her hand that collided with my cheek. She has just slapped me. My own mother, my own flesh and blood just slapped me. The tears have now fallen down my cheeks, and I feel myself silently sobbing. I touched my hot, flushed cheek. It was hot, like it was just set on fire.

Victoria was still expressionless. She went back to her previous position. Eyes widened, nostrils flaring, and body rigid. Not even an ounce of concern or regret was seen on her face.

No one was speaking. No other sound was there to be heard. Just then, a familiar voice filled the air.

"**Don't you ever touch Brooke again!"**

The voice was angry. It was raging. It was like mercury in a thermometer that's shooting up very fast, and at the verge of exploding. A wave of relief and security washed over me. Right at that very moment, I knew I was safe.

He fought for me. He saved me.

_**Stand up boy, I shine so bright when you're around**_

* * *

**AN: Here's an update! Sorry if it's short. I'll try to make it longer the next time. So enjoy! Watch some Davis showdown! LOL! Please review!**

**iloveothmica- **Look at Lucas fight for Brooke! LOL! Patience, Mica. Brucas will come soon! Thanks for the review!

**BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE- **Brucas won't be together just yet, but they will be **very** soon! Trust me on this. Thanks for the review!

**hoeoverbros- **I just can't let Jacob leave without letting him do something good. He owes Brucas something, and that was it. LOL! Thanks for the review!

**bella- **Thank you for your very heart- warming reviews! Hope you'll tune in!

**brookenlucas4eva03- **Sorry if I didn't update the night you wanted! Sorry! If it's any consolation, I did update today! LOL! Thanks for the review!

**M190192- **HI! Haven't heard from you for a very long time Don't worry about your English, it's fine. Thanks for the review!

**onetreefan- **Yes, everything is indeed coming together. And the Brucas reunion will come soon. Hmmm…for Jacob? That's a tough one! I'll probably say someone like Hayden Christensen or Gaspard Ulliel…guys of their kind, actually. Thanks for the review!

**Sophia-Chad- **Keep your hopes up! Brucas will be reunited, just do not know when and for how long, Watch out for that! Thanks for the review!

**IamCaroline- **I think we all loved Jacob in the end, didn't we? At least he did something right for Brucas. Brucas is definitely fighting for each other right now- just like what they should be doing on the TV right now…LOL! Thanks for the review!

**whiters- **I officially love your reviews! Seriously! Yes, that part where Lucas slammed the door was heart- breaking. It was for me to write that part, 'cause I don't like it when Brucas does that to each other. But it's angst-y. I totally got your point with Jacob. Everybody has to take their chances, right? But at least he gave up knowing that he won't ever have a chance with Brooke. Thanks for the review!

_Song: Who's to Say by Vanessa Carlton_

**--cheery**


	14. First Time

_**We're both looking for something  
We've been afraid to find  
It's easier to be broken  
It's easier to hide**_

I was losing time. I knew I had a little amount of time on my hands before I could make this right. The past few days, I was stupid and stubborn for not believing Brooke. I have been scolding myself for actually believing Jacob more than Brooke. It was a stupid show I have put up. I have blocked my senses because of my anger and frustration. Brooke has been fighting for us as much as I have. We were so close to being in each other's arms again, and I think I may just have blown it. I didn't know what happened to me. I was clouded with my emotions that I have refused to see the truth that was in front of me all along. After everything Brooke has done, it's time for me to make amends.

I looked for her everywhere. After having that talk with Jacob in the bar, I was filled with determination- determination to make things right with Brooke. I drove fast and impatiently to her house. I was driving so fast that I didn't care if I was breaking the rules. All I knew was that before this night ends, I have to get things right. I was frustrated to see the house empty. There was no Brooke. Then it hit me. Maybe she was still in her office. I looked at my watch. It is around 9 in the evening. Brooke couldn't be working that late. Nevertheless, I drove to her office. I parked abruptly and half- ran all the way up.

I reached her office, only to find no one there. I was getting impatient. Where the hell could Brooke be? Just when I was about to leave, I heard voices from her office. It looked like she and Victoria were having an argument. I stood by the door, which was left ajar. Call it eavesdropping or whatever. Brooke didn't deserve to be treated like this, especially by her own mother.

"**Lucas is the guy I have only loved! He is the guy who has been with me when you're not! He is the that I have lost twice to two different girls. But he is here. He went all the way here for me and to prove me that he loves me. Can't you just be happy for me?" **Brooke said.

"**If he really loves you, think about this. Why did he pursue you now? Why now? You told me you lost him to two girls. Which was when? In highschool? Why is he pursuing you now that you're successful? Isn't that enough proof that he's only after your money?"**

After hearing what Victoria said, I was filled with anger. How dare her think I was giving Brooke a run for her money? The woman doesn't know what she's talking about! That's crap! Nonsense! I was never, ever, interested in Brooke just because of her money. Brooke, of all people, should know that. I fell in love with the girl I fell in love with years ago. I fell in love with the Brooke Davis who was, and still is, vulnerable, but has the biggest and most selfless heart I have ever known. With or without money, I knew in myself that I would love her, and only her.

"**Do not manipulate my mind, Victoria! Do not even try! It will not work. And do not say anything about Lucas and I. You know nothing about this. You've been absent for more than half of my life and you pretend that you know everything about me all of a sudden? Nice try!"**

"**Don't you get it, Brooke? That's why I introduced you to Jacob. If you want to get married, get married with Jacob. At least I know you'll have a future with him."**

"**No! At least you know that **_you_** have a future with him! Face it, Victoria. You were not thinking about me when you introduced me to him."**

"**Of course I was thinking about you! If I want you settle down with someone else, I have to make sure it's the right guy. That's what moms do."**

"**Moms let their daughter be happy with whoever she decides to marry."**

"**Trust me. You'll not be happy with that Lucas."**

"**You don't even know how happy Lucas makes me! And don't push me to Jacob."**

Brooke was right. Victoria was worrying about herself when she introduced Jacob to Brooke. It was what I was thinking when Brooke told me what happened to her and Jacob. Clearly, Victoria was more concerned as to how and where she would get money for her personal needs- not her daughter's. Victoria doesn't Brooke- not even an inch. Brooke was far too good and too kind for Victoria. She has grown up without her mother, and, yet, she has grown up the most.

"**And why not? The boy is fine. The boy is rich. The boy has a future."**

"**Clearly, I'm not on your best interest when you thought about that. Stop acting like you care for me."**

"**But I do care for you, Brooke. You are still my daughter."**

"**No, Victoria! You care about yourself. You think about yourself. You worry for yourself. You work for yourself. Stop pretending. You never really thought about me. It's always been like that- yourself and money. It's always been about the money! That's why you pushed dad to work, even though it meant leaving me alone. You never even thought of me- just yourself! You are the most selfish, self- centered, and narcissistic woman I have ever known! And I am ashamed to call you my mother!" **

I was infuriated the second I saw what Victoria has done with Brooke. Brooke doesn't deserve to be treated like that! Especially by her own mother! No one has the right to hurt my Pretty Girl. Everyone doesn't have an idea how much she has been through and how much problems she has to take all by herself. She is the strongest person I know, and nobody can just slap her or hurt her like that!

That was it! Victoria has pushed me to my limit! I entered the room and spoke with all the calmness I could ever find in myself. As it happened, my voice came out as a shout.

"**Don't you ever touch Brooke again!"**

Victoria's head turned around and looked at me. Brooke's face was a mixture of relief and sadness. Her eyes were red and puffy from the sobs she was holding ever since she and Victoria were arguing. She was shaking and sobbing at the same time. She looked like the vulnerable girl I have loved way back. Right now, she was not the girl the always posed for the cameras with her fake smile. She was the girl who has a broken heart deep inside, which she doesn't want the world to see. But now she has let her guard down. Brooke was now an open book, waiting for the world to see who she really was. If only she was like that everyday.

_**Looking at you, holding my breath,  
For once in my life, I'm scared to death,  
I'm taking a chance, letting you inside.**_

Victoria didn't show an ounce of sympathy or regret over what she has done. She has hurt her daughter, and she was pretending as if she has done nothing wrong. Her face showed more of amusement, rather than regret.

"**And who are you?" **She asked with a voice of a snob. **"Oh, right. I remember you. You are Lucas Scott, right? The boy my daughter cannot simply forget and leave."**

"**And I suppose you are Brooke's mother? Oh, wait. You haven't been her mother in her whole 23 years, have you?"**

"**Young boy, you have no idea what you're talking about. This is between my daughter and I. you have no say in this."**

"**Yes. I may not have a say in this. But I care for Brooke. And, if you can't see it, you're hurting her. I love your daughter. And I can't stand to see her like this."**

"**Love?! You don't know what you're talking about. What do you know about love?"  
**

"**And what do **_you_** know about it?"**

"**You are rudest boy I have ever known! You do not deserve my daughter!"  
**

I was about to retort when Brooke's voice cut me off.

"**Stop! Both of you! Victoria, I would see you tomorrow. You can leave now." **Her voice was stern, and very bossy.

"**We're not done here, young lady. I have a lot of things to say to you."**

"**NO! I think we're done. Leave. Now." **Brooke said each word very carefully, as if emphasizing it.

Victoria hesitantly left the room. When we were alone, I instantly went to Brooke and wrapped my arms around her. I hugged her with all my might, as if there's no tomorrow.

"**Are you ok?" **I whispered. She just simply nodded her head as we stayed that way. I felt my shirt getting wet as I heard muffled sobs coming from her.

"**It's ok. It's going to be alright." **I reassured her. I stroke my hand along her hair, as I calmed her down. I put my hand on her shoulder and guided her to the couch nearby. I sat her down with me.

"**Do you need anything?" **I asked. I brushed her tears from her cheeks. I can't stand seeing my Cheery not so cheery.

"**I'm fine. Thanks."**

"**Are you sure?"**

"**Yes. Lucas, I'm fine. I'm not incapacitated." **She joked. Her dimples showing for the first time.

"**OK. That's good. I can't believe your mother."**

"**I know. Tell me about it."**

"**Who does she think she is, anyway? Yah, she is your mother and all. But you don't deserve to be treated like that. You've worked so hard for all your dreams, and she hasn't contributed anything to it."**

"**She is still my mother. I just wish that she wouldn't treat me like that- like I'm always a failure."**

"**I know. But it was nice that you stood up to her this time. You can't let her keep on saying things like that to you."**

"**Wait a minute, how much did you hear? Were you eavesdropping?" **she asked as her eyes widened and her eyebrows shot up.

_**Feeling alive all over again,  
As deep as the sky, under my skin  
Like being in love, she says  
For the first time  
Maybe I'm wrong,  
But I'm feeling right where I belong  
With you tonight  
Like being in love  
To feel for the first time**__**  
**_

"**Well, I guess you could put it that way. But I was actually looking for you and I heard the commotion."**

"**What did you hear?"**

"**Well, the part where you said that I was the only guy that you have and will ever love." **I said cockily.

"**You heard that?! Oh my gosh. I'm so screwed." **She covered her face with her hands, like she was ashamed or something.

"**Hey, hey, hey. Don't be ashamed. It was nice hearing it." **I said as took her in my arms again.

"**Why are you looking for me, anyways? I was looking for you." **We pulled away again.

"**You were looking for me? When?"**

"**This afternoon. I went to your house, but you weren't there. Where the hell were you?"**

"**I was in a bar. With Jacob."**

"**Wait, you were with Jacob."**

"**Well, we sort of ran into each other."**

"**What happened? Please don't tell me you got into a fight."**

"**No, we didn't. We talked, actually."**

"**You talked?! Without punching and those stuff?"**

"**No. No punching. Just a quiet, decent talk."**

"**What did you talk about?"**

"**About the hug. About the kiss. About everything about you, actually."**

"**Ohhh…"**

"**That's an appropriate reaction." **I smirked.

"**Well, I don't know how to react. What do you want me to say? I have no face to show you anymore."**

_**The world that I see inside you  
Waiting to come to life  
Waking me up to dreaming  
Reality in your eyes**_

"**How about you explain to me about the hug?"**

"**I guess you saw that, didn't you?"**

"**Yup."**

"**OK. Don't overreact on me, ok? And what I'm going to tell you is the truth. Are you sure you're going to believe me? No running away again?"**

"**Depends. Let's see what you got."**

"**OK. So Jacob came in here this morning. He apologized for the unwanted kiss and he told he's leaving for Italy. He just came to say goodbye. We hugged because, honestly, I'm really going to miss him."**

"**IS that it?"**

"**Yes."**

"**Are you sure?"**

"**Positive."**

"**I believe you."**

"**What?"**

"**I believe you."**

"**Yah, yah. I heard you. I just can't believe this. I thought you're going to scream at me or something."**

"**Nope."**

We both fell silent. I looked at Brooke quizzically. She was looking at me, as if expecting for something.

_**Looking at you,  
Holding my breath,  
For once in my life  
I'm scared to death,  
I'm taking a chance,  
Letting you inside.**_

"**Still waiting for the screaming and shouting, aren't you?" **I asked.

"**Yes. I just can't believe it. I'm sorry."**

"**No, don't be sorry. I should be the one who's sorry. I was an idiot for shouting at you. Jacob told me the same things you told me. so I guess I should believe you. Heck! I should've believed you the first time you told me. I was too stubborn. I really am sorry, Brooke."**

"**It's ok. I understand you. You're the one person I know which has a lot of temper. It's expected of you."**

"**Well, I guess you could say that. But what I did is unforgivable. No, that was beyond unforgivable. You didn't deserve that. I was the one who was telling you that you should trust me, when I was the one who did not trust you. I'm really sorry. And you were right. I had no right to be angry. We were just **_friends_** and all." **I noticed her wince as I said the word 'friends.'

"**Uh- huh. Lucas, about what I told you the other night--"**

"**It's ok. I forgive you."**

"**What? You forgive me?"**

"**Brooke, why do you find it hard to believe that I forgive you?" **I asked with humor.

"**I'm really sorry. I'm just new to this side of you. Wait, this is wrong. This is so wrong."**

"**Huh? What is?" **I asked, a sudden wave of panic washing over me.

_**I'm feeling alive all over again  
As deep as the sky that's under my skin  
Like being in love, she says, for the first time  
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right  
Where I belong with you tonight  
Like being in love to feel for the first time**_

"**This. You. Forgiving me. This is wrong. Gosh!"**

"**Brooke, this is NOT wrong. I forgive you. It's not like you're the only one who has messed up. I have messed up, too, you know."**

"**You're too good for me. I do not deserve this."**

"**You do deserve this. If anyone deserves the best in the whole world, it had to be you. You deserve everything."**

"**Lucas, don't think of me like that. You make it sound like I'm perfect."**

"**Well, you are perfect. People are too blind to not see that. At least, in my eyes, you are the most perfect girl I have ever seen and known."**

"**You're too good for me, you know that?"**

"**I have been told." **I said cockily.

"**And you are too full of yourself, apparently."**

"**But, kidding aside, can I hug you now? As in like bear- hug you now?" **I asked, with a hint of desperation in my voice. I missed Brooke so much, and I feel like I'm going to lose if I don't have her in my arms this minute.

"**Come here, Broody. I missed you too much." **

_**We're crashing  
Into the unknown  
We're lost in this  
But it feels like home**_

She forced herself on me as we hugged. I encircled my arm on her waist as tight as I can, without suffocating her. My other head held her head very tightly, holding on to it very tight. I closed my eyes and savored the feeling of being this close to her. I have endured a lot of years just to be this close to her and hug her. Eventually, we pulled away.

"**I missed you a lot, Cheery."**

"**Me too, Broody."**

"**OK. Let me just get this straight. We have each other forgiven, correct?"**

"**Yup. We have a clean break."**

"**Good to know."**

Then everything was silent. We were just staring at each other's eyes. I feel like I'm a goof staring at the person I love with a smile on my face that reaches up to my ears.

"**Tell me what you're thinking right now." **I asked.

"**I love you." **She suddenly said out of the blue. I must be hearing things.

"**What? Did you say anything?" **I asked on disbelief. I must be daydreaming again.

"**I love you."**

"**Wait. I must be dreaming. Can you slap me on the face right now?"**

"**Broody, you are not dreaming. I love you. I really do."**

"**You do?"**

She just nodded, her dimples showing on her face.

"**You want me to scream or do something?" **I asked.

"**Well, I was hoping you'd say you love me, too."**

"**I love you, Brooke Davis." **I said as I picked her up and swung her in circles. She let out a very loud squeal. Then I put her down on the ground.

"**Are you sure I'm not dreaming?" **I asked again.

"**No, you're not. Let me prove you." **

She tiptoed on her feet and reached up to me. Her lips touched mine lightly, and I gladly deepened the kiss. I felt her smile against the kiss. She encircled her arms on my neck, as I put my arms on her waist. We eventually pulled away, but the smiles are still intact on our faces.

"**Still think you're dreaming?"**

"**Definitely not. I love you, Brooke Davis."**

"**I love you, too, **_**Boyfriend." **_

"**God! I missed that nickname!"**

"**I missed saying it."**

Right there and then, I knew I was complete. I felt complete.

_**I'm feeling alive all over again  
As deep as the sky that's under my skin  
Like being in love, she says, for the first time  
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right  
Where I belong with you tonight  
Like being in love to feel for the first time**_

* * *

**AN: There's a treat for you guys! BRUCAS! Yay! Thanks for previous chapter's reviews!**

**hoeoverbros- **You loved the showdown, didn't you?

**OneTreeHillForeverLover- **Yay! New reader! Thanks for appreciating my story! Thanks for the alert!

**BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE**- Yah! About time Luke comes to Brooke's rescue!

**whiters- **Yeah! Davis showdown! Team Brooke!

**brookenlucas4eva03**- I think this is going to set your moods up!

**brucas3- **New reader! Yay! LOL! Lucas will be forever Brooke's savior.

**onetreefan- **I loved the fight! I loved writing it, too! Yes, I am going to let you know soon enough how much Lucas heard…

**Sophia-Chad- **No, thank you for constantly reviewing!

**IamCaroline- **Hope you figured out that your intuition's right! It's Brucas' time!

**iloveothmica- **Hi Mica! Yeah, go Brooke! I have a feeling that after reading this, this will be your fave chapter! LOL!

**All Stories Have Happy Endings **and** Colleen3200- **Thanks for putting me in your alerts! Please drop a review some other time! Thanks!

_Song: First Time by Lifehouse_

**--cheery**


	15. Ghost of You

**I never, said I'd lie and wait forever  
If I died we'd be together now  
I can't always just forget her  
But she could try**

_Ever heard of the saying "The best things in life are free?" I reckon it's true- well, at least in dreams that is true, if this is even a dream. This is so good to be true. I'm back in Tree Hill. I'm in the Rivercourt. I'm with Lucas. I am in my perfect world. This is so good to be a dream. Have I finally got everything I wanted?_

_I sighed. If this is a dream, I better enjoy while it last. I leaned over to my side, and reached my hand to the face of the one guy I truly ever loved- Lucas Scott. We were lying on the ground of Rivercourt, enjoying the peace and serenity we, for once, were finally having. I stroke his face, memorizing every part of it, every contour, every curve of his face. I don't know, but I suddenly felt the urge to do so. It's as if I have to memorize every inch of his face. It's as if I'll never be able to touch and see that god- like face again. _

_I smiled as a saw a hint of smirk on his face. His perfect eyelids are closed over those tantalizing and dazzling blue eyes of his. His eyes are like to big pools that are ready to swallow and drown anyone in. Nevertheless, those eyes seem to captivate me everytime. His nose is that of a Greek god. Imagine the perfect god you could ever imagine- if there's even one- and that has got to be Lucas. His lips are twitched into the famous Scott smirk that has captured the hearts of many girls. But Lucas' smirk is different. It's like there's always a hint of humor and teasing in it; like there's something up his sleeve; like they're a bait that's waiting to be bitten for you to fall to his devious plan. His hair is in it's casual disarray; just the way I like it. It's been disheveled in all directions after numerously running his hands through them. But still, he looked hot in it. Nobody could ever project and imitate the "Lucas Scott hair", except for him, of course. His jaw is clenched, which is unusual. He only clenches his jaw when he's holding back his anger or frustration. There's nothing wrong, isn't it? Suddenly, his eyes fluttered open and his heartwarming eyes are revealed once again. I smiled up to him and gave him a peck on the lips._

"_**You know that I love you, Brooke Davis, right?"**_

"_**Yah, of course, Lucas. Why? What's the problem?"**_

"_**I don't know. I just want to say it again. You never know when I'll be able to say it for the last time."**_

"_**Lucas, you're freaking me out. Is there something you're not telling me?"**_

"_**No, no. Don't worry about it. I just have this unusual feeling."**_

"_**What feeling? Tell me about it."**_

"_**Like there's something about to happen."**_

"_**Good or bad?"**_

"_**I don't know. I mean, it has got to be bad for me to feel this way. I don't know. Don't worry about it."**_

"_**Are you sure?"**_

"_**Yes. Besides, I'm not going to let anything happen to you."**_

"_**Lucas, you're really scaring me. Are you sure everything's ok?"**_

"_**Brooke, if I die right now--"**_

"_**That's it, isn't it?" **__I said, propping my head with my elbow._

"_**What is?"**__ he asked, utterly confused by my question._

"_**You're not taking your meds, are you? Lucas Scott, are you killing yourself?!" **__I asked, frustration taking me over by storm._

"_**No, no. I'm taking my meds regularly. I'm just saying 'if.' It's just a hypothetical question."**_

"_**OK. Let us speak on hypothetical terms. But promise me it's not going to happen soon." **__I said, lying down again. I let calmness take over my nerves. I breathed heavily and braced myself for whatever is going to happen next._

**At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You are  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Could I?  
Should I?  
And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever ever...**

"_**OK, I promise. So, hypothetically speaking, what if I die right now? I mean, what's going to happen to you?"**_

"_**Lucas Scott, that's a dumb question. You know pretty well what will happen."**_

"_**I need you to promise me one thing when that happens."**_

"_**Lucas, don't do this. Why are you so calm about this? It's your life we're talking about here."**_

"_**Please?"**_

"_**Just say it. I'm not promising you anything."**_

"_**When I die, hypothetically speaking, I want you to move on to another guy."**_

"_**Lucas, that's mathematically, in any way, impossible! You're the only guy I had, I have, will ever have loved in my entire life! I can't believe you're telling me this right now! What are you thinking?!"**_

"_**Brooke, hypothetically speaking, remember?!"  
**_

"_**Lucas, no! I'm not going to do that. You know me very well. I can't live without you."**_

"_**Brooke, you have done just fine in the last few years I was without you."**_

"_**Well, yah, maybe I have. But I was a living zombie. You have no idea how much it was hard for me to live without you. I can't live anywhere without you! Lucas, are you torturing me?!"**_

"_**I'm just asking you, Brooke. Just a little, innocent question."**_

"_**That's not innocent! That is torture! Why are you doing this, in the first place?"**_

"_**I just want you to be prepared. You never know when that happens. Who knows that in a split second from right now I could die?"**_

"_**Wait, let's back up a second. We need to stop this nonsense talk right now. You're not going to…be like that soon. I'm not, either. No one is in a split second from right now."**_

"_**How can you say, Brooke? Has the Grim Reaper visited you lately and told you when you're going to die?"**_

"_**Lucas, why are we talking about death? Are you in a cult or something?"**_

"_**Preparation, Brooke. I just want you to be prepared."**_

**Ever...  
Get the feeling that you're never  
All alone and I remember now  
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies  
She dies**

"_**OK, then. If it's just for preparation sakes, let's put this the other way around. What if I'm the one who's going to die anytime soon? What are you going to do? And what if I asked you to move on to another girl, too? Will you do that for me?"**_

"_**Yes."**_

"_**And you're sure of yourself?"**_

"_**Brooke, you know you're the only girl that I have and will ever love. And if that makes you happy, dead or not, that's what I'm going to do. You know you're always at my best interest."**_

"_**You're just going to move on that easily?"**_

"_**I'm not doing it for myself, I'm doing it for you. That's your request, that's where you're happy, I'll do it for you. That's how much I love you. I'm not going to stay away from you unless you ask me to do so."**_

"_**And you're so calm and collected about this. You're incredible."**_

"_**Hasn't death crossed your mind?"**_

"_**No, nor will your death cross my mind."**_

"_**I just want you to be prepared, Brooke. All I want is when I die, you'll move on to another guy and live the life you've always wanted."**_

"_**That's the problem, Lucas! The life I have long wanted is with you, and with you only! It will not work with anyone else. Do you understand that?"**_

"_**I'm sure you'll survive without me."**_

"_**NO, I can't survive without you. If you die, you will take my soul and spirit with you. There's no doubt in that."**_

"_**OK. I guess this will be much easier for you. When I die, I want you to forget about me."**_

"_**Lucas, that's never going to happen. I will never forget about you. Everything I do revolves around you. Everything I see is about you."**_

"_**Then do everything in your power to forget about me."**_

"_**How am I supposed to do that? No matter what you do now, I am attached to you in all aspects."**_

"_**I don't know. Have a brain transplant. Knock your head on something to trigger an amnesia. Throw everything that reminds me of you. I don't care, just forget about me."**_

"_**Are you so eager to push me away?"**_

"_**I'm not pushing you away. Brooke, if I die, I cannot stand to see you grieving over me and crying over me. Who am I, anyway? I'm not some famous rockstar that has been a living legend. I'm just Lucas Scott."**_

"_**Yes, you are Lucas Scott. You are the guy that I will eternally and unconditionally love. You just can't expect to forget about you in one minute. Do you know how much you mean to me? Do you have any idea how much you will be taking away from me if you- **__I can't say the word. I can't say it. That can't possible happen. It's not going to happen soon. That simple word cannot escape from my throat- __**if that happens?"**_

**At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You are never coming home  
Could I?  
Should I?  
And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me  
Never coming home  
Could I?  
Should I?  
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me  
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me**

"_**Exactly my point! You mean as much as I mean to you. If I die, you let me take everything from you. And I can't do that. You have a long life to live. You have a lot of things ahead of you. I just can't let you throw everything you have away because of my death."**_

"_**There's nothing you can do about it. You are my life."**_

"_**Don't let me be your life. I will forever be holding that guilt if you forfeit everything because of me."**_

"_**You're worth it."**_

"_**NO, I'm not. I'm just a guy who you happen to love. You can't give everything away for me. There's so much more out there that you could busy yourself with. You have much more talents than to waste them on me. There are so many guys who will be willing to love you more than I do."**_

"_**Your love is more than enough for me. You are more than enough for me."**_

"_**This is harder than I thought."**_

"_**There is nothing hard about this., I can't live without you. When you die, you take me with you. End of story. Period. Discussion closed."**_

"_**Please, try."  
**_

"_**I won't. You can't convince me."**_

"_**For me?"**_

"_**You never know how things will play out."**_

"_**Is that a yes?"**_

"_**I'm not promising anything."**_

"_**Thank you." **__He said, looking down on me. His blue eyes melting my hazel ones. He put his arms around my waist, and I snuggled closer to him. I feel him kiss the top of my head. I relinquish the feeling of being this close to him. I close my eyes and let the surrounding take over me. I'm slowly memorizing the scent, the feeling, the sight, and the music that is in front of me right now. If __**that **__happens right now I have to be prepared, just like what Lucas wants. I have to memorize this very scene in my life right now. I have to know the feeling of how it's like to be this close to him, even if it's for the last time._

**If I fall...  
If I fall...  
Down**

"_**You wanna go to the café?" **__He asked, touching my cheek. I broke my train of thought. I looked up to him and smiled._

"_**Sounds good." **_

_He stood up and brushed the dirt off his clothes. Then he stretched his arm forward, his hand offering to take mine. I smiled sweetly at him and place my hand on top of his. He snaked his arm around my waist as I leaned my head on his shoulder. Life is good. So far._

_Then, out of nowhere, a motorcycle was speeding crazily towards us. The guy has lost break and is not in control of the vehicle. I stood rotted to the ground, my mouth forming a perfect shape of "O" as I watch what's happening in front of us. For some unknown reason, I couldn't move. My feet have been glued to the pavement. My eyes are locked on the motorcycle that is moving closer and closer to us. Maybe Lucas was right. Maybe death is on its way to haunt us, to search for us. I closed my eyes to block the sight of what could probably be my last memory. This could be my last breath._

_After a few minutes, I found myself down on the ground. Damn! My head hurts! My head is throbbing like hell! I touched it and massaged it a little bit. I couldn't be dead, right? If I was dead, then I wouldn't have felt the pain in my head and the sore feeling of my body. After all, I am only a spirit now. Wait, could I be in hell? Nah. There's not so much fire and heat that I'm feeling right now. Well, where am I? I slowly opened my eyes. My vision was blurry. It's as if everything was spinning. I held my head to ease the pain and stop the constant pounding. I looked around me. I was still in the Rivercourt._

_Then the events flashed through my head like a slideshow. Lucas and I were in the Rivercourt. We were on our way to the café when a crazy motorcycle was heading our way. Panic washed over me. My heart suddenly started beating. My eyes widened in horror. My breath became short. I was unconsciously praying that my intuition was wrong. Then I saw it. I saw him._

_I rushed over to his side, tears now falling from my eyes. He was covered with blood. I can't feel any breathing. I can hardly see his face because of the blood that's rushing from his head. His clothes are now soaked in blood. No! This can't be happening! He can't be dead! He can't be dead! He is not supposed to be dead!_

_I sobbed continuously as I rocked him back and forth, silently wishing that a miracle would happen right now. That some angel would appear from heaven and bring him back to life. Our conversation flowed back to me like water. He must have sensed that something is going to happen to him for him to say those things. He must have felt and predicted that his time has come. But I refused to believe. And I will refuse to believe. I looked back to his face. My heart broke to see him so lifeless and helpless. What's worse is that there's nothing I can do. I don't have the power to bring him back. Only a miracle can. I sobbed harder. What was I going to do now? Does he really want me to move on?_

"_**LUCAS!!" **__I shouted._

_All of a sudden, everything went black. It was as if I am being pulled to some black hole. Am I dying?_

**At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You are  
Never coming home**

I bolted upright. I looked around me. I immediately noticed my surroundings. I was in Lucas' room. So, that was just a nightmare? Thank God! I wiped the cold sweat that has formed across my forehead. I breathed a sigh of relief. I was breathing in and out to calm my nerves. All the fear and panic that has formed within me is suddenly starting to vanish. The rapid beating of my heart is slowly dying down. I was returning to my normal self.

Then my eyes widened again! I looked at the other side of my bed. Lucas wasn't there! I looked around me. Not a sight of him. No one is in the bathroom. There seems to be no movement in the house. I jumped off the bed and ran across the house.

"**Lucas?" **I called out. No answer.

I looked at the living room and at the backyard. He wasn't there. Then I ran to the kitchen. He wasn't there, either! Another batch of panic came over me. Where was he? Did something happen to him?

Then I noticed a note on the fridge that looked very much like is writing. I slowly calmed down. This is way too early for surprises and nightmares! I slowly walked to the fridge and read the note.

_**Brooke,**_

_**Good morning. I'm having my morning run. Be back for breakfast.**_

_**Love you.**_

_**Lucas**_

At least he wasn't dead! I shuddered at the thought. I grabbed my phone that was resting on the kitchen counter and dialed his number.

"**Lucas Scott, you have to get in the house right this very minute! Your heart will seriously be worked up when I beat you to death! The next you're going to be running for is your life! You better be here this instant!" **I shouted as I left a voice message for him. He'll surely be running home when he receives that message.

After a few minutes of fidgeting and worrying, the front door opened. I ran to the front door, with a smile on my face. I ran up to him and he caught me as I snaked my legs onto his waist. I kissed him full and forcefully on the lips, and savored the moment.

"**Wow. I'll surely be doing this again if this is what I get every morning. Are you sure I'll be running for my life? 'Cause that's what you said in your message. All the while I thought I was going to be scolded."**

"**Maybe later." **I mumbled as I kissed him once more on the lips.

"**I'll wait." **He said as he kissed my neck teasingly.

"**How about now?" **

"**Whichever is fine." **He mumbled on the hollow base of my throat.

I kissed him once more on the lips, with much more passion this time. I felt him smile against my lips, and I couldn't help but let a smile creep on my face.

"**Maybe after you shower. You smell," **I said as I put myself down, and making a disgusted face.

"**Well that didn't stop you from making out with me. Or, more like, teasing me." **He said as he smirked.

"**Ha! You wish." **I said as I walked to the kitchen. I heard him proceed to the bathroom and opened the shower.

I smiled to myself. That was just a nightmare. A nightmare that was far from happening. A nightmare that was far from the reality. A nightmare that will never ever cross our paths. Death is surely far from us. Even more, separation is far from happening.

Everything is fine. Everything will be fine. As long as we're together. As long as we have each other.

**And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Could I...  
Should I?  
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me  
For all the ghosts that are never gonna...**

* * *

**AN: YAY! Brucas is back! For how long? I don't know. LOL! One thing I advise you, though: Enjoy it while it lasts! Just a reminder…**

**Thanks to: **OneTreeHillForeverLover, IamCaroline, Sophia-Chad, hoeoverbros, onetreefan, brookenlucas4eva03, BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE, and iloveothmica

_Song: Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance_

**--cheery**


	16. Dark Blue

I sat at the center of Lucas' bed as I waited for him to finish his shower. I was browsing through magazines, as I heard him humming some tunes. I silently laughed to myself upon realizing what Lucas could possible thinking and doing right now in the shower. I hurriedly cleaned up my act as I heard him turn the shower knob off.

_**I have, I have you breathing down my neck, breathing down my neck  
I don't, don't know what you could possibly expect under this condition so  
I'll wait, I'll wait for the ambulance to come, ambulance to come  
Pick us up off the floor what did you possibly expect under this condition  
So slow down, this nights a perfect shade of**_

A minute later, a very hot Lucas Scott emerged from the door. Beads of water were still trickling from his sculpted chest onto his chiseled abs. After all these years, Lucas Scott has still managed to maintain a jaw- dropping, eye- turning, and heart- melting body. I felt my breath hitch my throat. My breathing became short, and my mind suddenly went blank. I felt my heart racing and pounding wildly within me. I had to calm myself and remind myself to breathe.

Lucas must have noticed my gaping. I heard him chuckle.

"**Like what you see?" **he teased.

"**Not really. I heard things are much better seen closely." **I teased back.

On a swift move, Lucas was at my sight, still with the towel tied securely around his waist.

"**Better?" **He asked again; his voice husky and deep. I felt myself drown into his eyes that were staring deep down into my soul.

"**Much, much better." **I said, equally seductive. I positioned myself onto his lap and kissed him in the lips.

The kiss was soft and warm. It was inviting. It was full of passion. I missed kissing Lucas. I missed the soft feeling of his lips; the lips that whispered sweet nothings in my ear, and the lips from which a thousand of promises have escaped. Soon enough, the kiss became more aggressive. Lips against lips, mouth against mouth. I smiled to myself. He was challenging me. With no intentions of backing down, I pushed myself further to him and deepened the kiss. I kissed more passionately and fiercely. His mouth was hungry. It was desperately seeking. I felt his arms snake around my waist, and, with much force, closed the distance between us, if there was still any. I suddenly found the difficulty to breathe, so I hesitantly pulled away. But, in a split second, I was moving on to his neck. I was showering him kisses here and there. I nibbed at his skin lightly, betting it was going to leave a mark. I felt him kiss my shoulders, and his arms were now moving up and down my thighs.

I smiled to myself. I was victorious again. Lucas Scott didn't know what he was in for. He would be surely pissed.

"**What are you going to do today?" **I murmured against his skin, while kissing his oh- so delicious neck.

"**Anything. With you. Actually, this could be all I would be doing all day." **He said, his voice thick and deep.

"**I like that idea." **I whispered in his ear.

"**Me, too." **

"**But, I have to go." **I whispered while him kissing square on the lips. Almost at an instant, he pulled away; shock very evident on his face.

_**Dark blue, dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning and burning down  
Dark blue, dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning  
'til there's nothing but dark blue  
Just dark blue**_

"**What?"**

"**I have to go. I have work. Duh!" **

Then he made a face- puppy- dog eyes and lips pouting. I laughed hysterically.

"**Broody, that face won't work on me."**

"**I don't want you to go. I want you here. With me. On this bed." **He said, obviously teasing me. Two can play this game.

"**I would love to. But you can come with me to work." **I whispered to his ear, seduction enveloping my voice. I proceeded to his lips again and kissed him softly.

"**What's in it for me?" **he asked.

"**I could change my mind. Plus, my very presence would probably drive you nuts. So, what do you say?"**

"**Brooke Davis, are you challenging me?"**

"**I don't know. Are you challenged?" **

"**On second thought, nah! I'd rather have you here." **He said, pinning me on the bed. He was on top of me. He ambushed my lips this time, and I was caught in a daze. This boy was driving me crazy! But, no, I wasn't going to be defeated. Once Brooke Davis starts a battle, she makes sure she comes out victorious.

_**And this flood, this flood is really rising up,  
Swallowing the ground beneath, my feet.  
Tell me how anybody thinks under this condition so  
I'll swim, I'll swim as the water rises up sun is sinking down and now  
All I can see are the planets in a row suggesting it's best that I  
Slow down this nights a perfect shade of**_

We were kissing like there was no tomorrow. Then, we reversed positions. I was on top of him right now. Temptation was taking over me like hell. I so wanted to untie that freakin' towel of his and have my wicked way with him. But I fought back. Suddenly, I pulled away.

Lucas opened his eyes and saw me on my feet.

"**What the hell, Brooke?" **He asked frustratedly.

"**No can do, Broody. I have to get to work." **I said, while looking at the mirror and arranging my clothes.

"**You know, that was very mean."**

"**I know." **I smirked at his reflection from the mirror.

"**Brooke Davis, you better watch your back. You may be winning today, but you'll be going down. Trust me."**

"**Aww, Broody. Don't keep your hopes up. Once a loser, always a loser. You can't win over me."**

"**Oh, we'll see, Cheery. We'll see."**

"**Game on, Lucas Scott. Anyways, are you going to take my offer?"**

"**No. I think I'll just stay here in the house." **He said, putting his hands behind his head, and resting comfortably on the bed.

_**Dark blue, dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning and burning down  
Dark blue, dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning dark blue**_

I felt sick. Like something punched me. I was sure it was a wave of disappointment and sadness.

"**What?" **I asked, turning around to face him.

"**I'm staying in the house. The bed is much more comfortable."**

"**Can't you come with me to work? Please? Pretty please?" **I begged him. I asked him with pleading eyes and the pout he couldn't resist.

"**Why would you want me to be there? I thought you have 'work'?" **He asked, using air quotes to emphasize the word "work."

"**Don't you like to be part of my work?" **I asked sarcastically.

"**Oh! So I'm part of your work now?"**

"**You don't want to? Come on! You know you want to." **I begged again.

Suddenly, a booming laugh erupted in the room.

"**What?" **I asked.

"**You are already falling for my trap, Brooke Davis."**

"**What is that supposed to mean?"**

"**You'll see."**

"**Wait, so does that mean you're coming with me?"**

"**Uh- huh."**

"**Really?"**

"**You don't want me to?"**

"**NO. It's just that I didn't think you'd give in that easily."**

"**Who says I'm giving in?"**

"**Well, that's what you're doing right now."**

"**For your information, I am not giving in. I'm actually doing you a favor. You actually owe me one."**

"**Oh, wow! Thank you! Very much!" **I said with heavy sarcasm.

"**No worries. Just be careful. You don't know what you're in for." **He warned me.

What is that supposed to mean? I furrowed my eyebrows and though. Just as I was about to ask him what he meant, he suddenly vanished. That guy has something on his sleeves.

_**We were boxing,  
we were boxing the stars  
We were boxing (we were boxing)  
you were swinging for Mars  
And then the water reached the west coast  
And took the power lines, the power lines  
And it was me and you (lights over my) and the whole town underwater  
There was nothing we could do  
And it was dark blue**_

The ride to work was quiet. I let the music surround the whole environment. He was driving with one hand. The other was clasped firmly with mine. I smiled as I looked at our tightly entwined hands. He looked at me.

"**What?" **He asked.

"**Nothing. Keep driving." **I said, while turning my head to look outside.

We arrived at the office a little past 10AM. The office was already busy with employees running here and there, heels click- clacking everywhere, and phones ringing off the hook almost at every table.

"**Broody, why don't you head down my office, and I'll be there shortly." **I said as I gave him a peck on the cheek..

"**Jess, what do I have to do today?" **I said, asking my assistant, Jess.

"**Umm…you have 2 meetings with the CEOs of Kitson and Barney's. And then, Ms. Kim Kardashian called a while ago, arranging a meeting between the two of you. She said it was regarding her shop. I think it was "Dash" or something. Then, you have lunch with Karl Lagerfeld, regarding the line you're going to be doing with him. And by 8PM, you have a reservation at Butter with Nina Garcia, since they'll be featuring your Spring collection in Elle Magazine."**

"**Wait, how come I haven't heard of these stuff? Kitson and Barney's? Dash? Karl Lagerfeld and Nina Garcia? Since when did I confirm meetings with these people?"**

"**Last week."**

"**Last week? When?"**

"**I asked you to sign these letters of confirmation. You signed them almost in a hurry. You were saying about finding somebody."**

Then it hit me like a speeding truck. The night when Lucas was missing and when Jacob was leaving for Italy.

"**Those were letters? Why didn't you tell me?"**

"**I did tell you. I was explaining, and you signed them like crazy. I thought you got the message."**

"**Uhhh! This is so messed up!" **I groaned in frustration. I buried my face in my hands.

"**Do you want me to cancel?" **

"**Can you?" **Then my face enlightened! Can she? Her eyes widened in horror.

"**Brooke, with all due respect, you have cancelled a lot of meetings already. Victoria was attending them all for you."**

"**Can't she just attend them for me again?"**

"**I don't know. She has a handful for today already."**

"**Ok. I'll see what I can do. Just tell me when I'm missing something."**

"**Ok. Do you want coffee or something?"**

"**No. I'm good. Can you check wit the Art Department when they will show me the proposed cover for next month's issue of the magazine? Their deadline is way over."**

"**Ok. Will do."**

"**Thanks, Jess." **

I groaned again in frustration. How come work has to be this tiring and stressful? Sighing, I proceeded to my office. At least, there was something I can look forward to, and it's waiting for me in the office.

_**Dark blue, dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning and burning down**_

_**Dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning now there's nothing but dark blue**_

I went inside and was surprised to see Victoria there- with Lucas. It looked like they were talking. Victoria had a smile on her face, while I couldn't decipher Lucas' expression. As soon as my presence was recognized in the room, Victoria stood up to leave.

"**It was nice talking to you, Lucas." **Victoria said. Then she proceeded to leave the room.

"**So that was my mom. And you were talking. What were you talking about?" **I asked suspiciously.

* * *

Brooke and I arrived at her office. Even if it's early in the morning, the people were running crazy. It's like a fashion madhouse or something. I chuckled to hide my amusement.

"**Broody, why don't you head down my office, and I'll be there shortly."**

I nodded and went to Brooke's room. I sat on the couch and looked around. There wasn't much I could busy myself in her room, since there wasn't much anyway. Good thing I brought my laptop! I was on the road to writing my fourth book. I haven't heard any news regarding my third, but I figured they are just on the publishing process. But nevertheless, I decided to start on a new one. The idea was still vague and incomplete, but I was determined to write. Just as I was about to open it, the door swung open. The smile that was glued on my face since this morning faltered as I realized who just went in.

"**Brooke, Michael Kors called--" **she trailed off. It was Victoria.

What was she doing here? Didn't Brooke fire her? She looked just as surprised as I was.

"**Oh. I have a feeling I would be seeing you more often." **She said. I didn't answer.

"**Couldn't say the same." **I muttered softly enough that she wouldn't hear.

"**What was that?" **She asked.

"**Nothing." **I said icily.

"**Where is Brooke?" **She asked obnoxiously.

"**I think she was out there, talking to her assistant."**

"**Good." **She said simply. I was confused. My face scrunched up in utter confusing. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"**What do you mean?"**

"**I didn't think this will be much easier than I thought. Since you and Brooke seemed to be so attached to the hip, I didn't think I would get this chance."**

"**What? What are you talking about?"**

"**There's something I have to tell you. About Brooke." **She said, closing the door.

I suddenly had the gut feeling that wasn't good. A lot of thoughts suddenly raced through my head. My heart was beating rapidly within my chest. I could feel the faint thudding of my ears. I felt my body went hard, and stiff. Cold sweat seemed to have formed across my forehead.

Why am I getting the feeling that this isn't great? Like something bad was about to happen whatever will transpire from this conversation…

_**If you've ever been alone you'll know dark blue  
If you've ever been alone you'll know, you'll know**_

**AN: Did I almost kill you guys with the previous chapter? LOL! It's cruel, I know, but I loved hearing that I scared you to death. Just a warning, don't forget that chapter just yet, it MIGHT recur.**

**So what do you guys think Victoria wants from Lucas? Why did Lucas feel that way? Send me your theories and thoughts! I MIGHT just pick one up!**

**OneTreeHillForeverLover- **here's my update! Hope you enjoy!

**copperboom321- **Did I scare you? LOL! Sorry! But I'm so glad I did, it was a very good feedback for a writer. Thanks for reading!

**oxjessioxonetreehill- **Something intense is about to happen, indeed. Just wait. You might not be happy about it, but it's going to be intense. Thanks for reviewing!

**BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE- **I'm pretty sure we all know that Brucas completes each other. And yes, one will be heartbroken if one dies or goes. But, things won't always go smoothly for Brucas. A premonition? Could be. Thanks for reviewing!

**hoeoverbros- **Aww…don't worry! I'm making a promise, I won't kill Lucas. Hold on to my word. Thanks for reviewing!

**brookenlucas4eva03- **I won't kill him! LOL! Don't worry…I have another plan for him. Thanks for reviewing!

**onetreefan- **Well, yah, that is foreshadowing. But I'm sure you'll be jumping out of your seat in one of these chapters. Thanks for ALWAYS revewing!

**Sophia-Chad- **Don't worry, it wasn't for real. I'm not promising anything about Brucas as of now. I'm going to let whatever comes to my mind happen to them. Pray that they'll be happy thoughts. LOL! But, kidding aside, you are the sweetest reader I have ever met! Thank you for calling my story "the best one ever"…I really, really, really appreciate it!

**IamCaroline- **Yes, Lucas can't die. But I won't kill him, promise!

**screwwithmyhead **and** Demi Vastille- **Thanks for the alerts! Really appreciate it! Reviews? Thanks!

A big shout out to: **whiters, GossipGirlLover, Bella, AmbroCoo and to the many others. **I miss your reviews, you guys! Hope to hear from y'all soon!

_Song: Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin_

**--cheery **


	17. On the Side of Me

_**I'm not the easiest person to love  
I'm often the one who lets things go unresolved**_

"**So that was my mom. And you were talking. What were you talking about?" **Brooke asked me.

For some unknown reason, I couldn't talk. It's like my tongue was literally tied with a knot. Brooke came to me face to face, but I was looking way past her. I was in a daze. I was looking at a very far distance. It was as if my senses blocked out on me. I couldn't hear anything, see anything, and I couldn't feel anything.

I just had my worst nightmare. I was afraid we were going to get to this point somehow. I just wished it wouldn't have to be now. I suddenly wondered if fate and life would be any crueler. Brooke and I, I believed, suffered so much already. Yet, we were still being thrown some curveballs, as if the past wasn't enough already. I was torn. I didn't know if I should do _**it**_. Sure, it was for Brooke's life. But, I was sure that the very thought of _**it**_ would leave both of us hurt and heartbroken. But, if I didn't do _**this**_, Brooke's company, her dream, would suffer, and I couldn't let that happen, either.

I was momentarily pulled out from my thoughts as I felt Brooke shaking me, pulling me out of my daze.

"**LUCAS!" **She was shouting. She was sitting beside me on the couch, and yet she was shouting at me.

"**Huh? Oh, Brooke. What is it?" **I said, completely oblivious as to what had just happened.

"**You zoned out on me." **

"**Oh, sorry. I just had a lot on my mind."**

"**Care to tell me?" **She asked lovingly. Worry and concern were suddenly creased on her beautiful face. It pained me to see her like this. My problems weren't her problems, and yet she had to make them her own. I looked away, not wanting to see that expression again.

_**Yet you choose to be  
On the side of me  
On the side of me  
Yet you choose to be on the side of me  
On the side of me**_

"**It's nothing." **I lied. Two words that could either destroy us forever, or destroy Brooke's dream.

"**Are you sure? You look pre- occupied." **She put her hand on my arm, and gave it a reassuring and gentle squeeze.

"**I'm sure. Now what were you asking a while ago?" **I asked.

"**Oh. It's just that I saw my mom getting out of my office. Obviously, you, guys, were talking. Or were you doing something freaky?" **She joked. Her face showed a mock horror. I laughed at her.

"**No, silly girl. We weren't doing something freaky." **I said, avoiding her real question.

"**Good to know. So what were you talking about?" **She asked again, putting her elbows on her knees.

I scrambled my brain for an excuse. She thought I was Brooke? No. She wanted to use my laptop? Won't work. She wanted to talk to me about fashion? Nope. She wanted my autograph? That is just plain ridiculous! I couldn't find anything.

_**I'm not too proud of some things  
I've done in my life  
The skeletons in my closet  
Are too big for me to hide**_

"**Lucas, what were you and my mom talking about?" **She asked again, in case I didn't hear it again.

"**We…uh…she…came…to…to apologize! Yah, that's right! She came to apologize!" **I said triumphantly. That was a lame excuse, but, whatever. It was still an excuse. I hoped she'd buy it.

"**My mother? Apologize?" **She said, disbelievingly.

"**Uh-huh. You know, with the whole "shouting at you" incident and all." **The lie seemed to roll off my tongue easily.

"**Lucas, this is my mother we're talking about it here. In case you haven't met her yet, she's this vicious and scary monster, which just happened to be my mother and the CEO of my company. Now, are you sure that's my mother you just walked with a while ago?"**

I laughed. Now that was a detailed description. **"Yes, Ms. Davis. That was your mother. And she came to apologize." **I said, tapping her nose with my finger.

"**Wow. Is it the end of the world or something? I never thought this would happen." **She said incredulously. Her mouth had a perfect shape of an "O", and her hand was clutched to her heart, as if she was going to have a heart attack over the news.

"**Well, believe it. You're mom is not that horrible. She still cares for you. She has your best interest at heart. She loves you, you know?" **I said, not quite believing myself. It was as if I was convincing myself that that was Victoria's reason for telling me _**that**_. I was hoping it's for Brooke, not for the company. Sadness filled my heart again as I was faced with probably the most difficult decision of my life, and Brooke wasn't even there to help me get through it. But, this was not her problem. It was mine, and it sucked because whatever my decision was, it would affect us greatly.

_**Yet you choose to be  
on the side of me  
on the side of me  
Blessed Charity  
You're on the side of me  
on the side of me**_

"**Did my mom bribe you or something?" **She asked amusedly.

"**No. I was just stating a fact." **I said in a "as- a- matter- of- fact" tone.

Just then, her assistant, Jess, entered the room.

"**Brooke, I went to the Art Department. They said you had the cover approved already, just last week."**

"**I did? When?" **She asked.

"**Last week. They told me that you told them that you approved of anything they would come up with."**

"**I said that? Really?"**

It pained me to see Brooke this way. She was completely oblivious at to everything that was happening to her company. It was like she was forgetting all these meetings and deals she had with other companies. She was supposed to be thriving, not missing out on all the big decisions the company had and has to make. Ever since I got here to New York, she was canceling meetings here and there, ignoring calls from the office, and spending most of her time with me. This wasn't the life I wanted for her. She didn't need to do that for me.

_**Everyone needs a friend to hold  
When it's cold outside  
And there's no place to go  
Everyone needs a friend to hold  
All alone I cried  
There was no place to go  
I remember when nobody cared  
But you**_

"**That's what they said."**

"**Well, could you get them up here? I need to see it and look for changes."**

"**Too late, Brooke. They're with the publishers already."**

"**Since when do they give that to the publishers without my permission?"**

"**With all due respect, Brooke, but that was our routine ever since. Once you have approved the cover, they go to the publishers."**

"**Jess, could leave me alone for a moment, please?" **She said, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"**Uh, sure. Brooke, Kitson and Barney's at 1PM." **

"**Whatever. Just give a moment alone." **

Jess hurriedly went out of the room. I rushed to Brooke and gave her a comforting hug.

"**Brooke, you're stressed out." **I said as I pulled away, and looked at her worried face.

"**I know. It's just that I don't know what's happening to my company anymore. I didn't know I had to attend these freakin' meetings. Apparently, I had confirmed these meetings and I didn't even know it. And now, the cover of the magazine was approved and I had no recollection that I did. It's just frustrating, you know?" **She said as tears welled up on her eyes. I brushed them off, not wanting to see her shed tears again.

"**I know. Don't be angry at me for saying this. But you have been canceling your meetings for me. You have been spending a lot of time with me lately, while you're completely forgetting your company. Do you understand that?"**

She nodded her head. **"But I want to spend time with you."**

"**I know. Me, too. But your life has always been around this company and this ream of yours, and you were doing a very good job at it. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. We still get to see each other, don't we?"**

"**Thanks. I need that."**

"**Welcome to be of help. I, on the other hand, am going to leave now. It seems like you have a handful already." **I said, letting go of her.

"**Nooooooooo! I don't want you to go." **She said, not letting go of my arm.

"**I have to, Pretty Girl. You have a lot on your plate right now, I'm not going to add up to that." **I said as I brushed her cheek with my thumb, admiring her beautiful face.

"**How about you help me finish them off? And then I'll give you your reward later." **She whispered to my ear, obviously seducing and tricking me.

"**Nice try, Missy. But I'm not falling for that. I'll see you at home."**

"**Fine. Lucas, I really want to thank you for this. For everything." **She said, looking at my eyes sincerely.

_**I'm not the easiest person to love  
But you, you've opened your heart to show me what I'm worth**_

I suddenly lifted my hand up to smoothen her hair. My thumb brushed along her forehead. Then to her eyebrows, memorizing the curve of them. Then to her eyelids, that covered her beautiful eyes. Then to her eyelashes, which tempted me everytime she fluttered them. Then to be bridge of her nose, which I loved tapping everytime she acted like a silly girl. Then to her cheeks that went red even without the make- up. Then to her full, red lips that I wanted to kiss everytime; and the pout that easily melted my heart. I studied her face, memorizing every inch, every centimeter of it. She looked up to me, with a genuine smile.

"**What was that for?" **She asked amusedly.

"**I'm going to miss you." **I whispered, knowing that there was a deeper meaning to it.

"**Broody, I'll only be gone for half a day. I'll drop by your house, ok? Besides, you're the one who wanted this."**

"**I know. But I'll still miss you."**

"**I'm going to miss you, too."**

Then, before I even knew it, I was hugging her with all my might. I was holding her head against the crook of my neck. I closed my eyes and let a few tears fall. I was savoring each second I was doing this with her.

_**Cause you choose to be  
on the side of me  
on the side of me  
What a mystery  
You're on the side of me  
on the side of me**_

"**I wish we could stay like this forever." **I whispered. I only felt her nod.

"**Broody, you're suffocating me." **I let go of her head, but not her hand just yet.

"**I love you, Brooke." **I said, kissing her forehead with all the passion within me.

Then, I proceeded to the door.

"**I love you too, Luke." **She called out.

_**I remember when nobody cared  
Nobody cared  
But you...**_

I only managed to smile at her. Tears were welling up at my eyes, and I let them fall once I had my back turned at Brooke. I couldn't let her see them, because that will blow the whole thing up. I said I was going to miss her. Brooke had no idea what I was talking about, obviously. Once I went out of Brooke's office, I was left alone with my thoughts. I was left to face the decision I was dreading to do. My mind was still conflicted. I had no idea what to do. I couldn't even start to weigh the pros- and- cons of this, knowing what they would be. I was scared to do this. I was scared more than I was ever in my whole life. I thought I finally got what I wanted. I didn't realize how hard I had to work for it to finally and truly get it. It was as if I was making a deal with the devil.

When I talked to Victoria this morning, she told me what was going on in the office. She told me that Brooke's been missing a lot of important meetings for the company. A lot of deals were lost because Brooke was not able to do them. I went back to the time Brooke spent the night in my house. That morning, her phone was ringing off the hook, but she kept on ignoring. A sickening feeling washed over me – guilt. Brooke was spending so much time on me the last few days. It was either she was distracted because we had a fight, or she was not in the office because we were spending a lot of time together. I trusted Brooke when she told me it was nothing. But I never imagined that this would be the toll for us to be together. I never wanted her company to be in a downward spiral. I never did. But I trusted Brooke when she told me that the office was doing fine even without her. I never wanted her to exchange the success of her company for a day with me. She worked hard for this company. She worked hard for this dream. She deserved it. So, then, I saw what Victoria wanted me to realize. It was the most heart- splitting decision I had to face in my life. I wished there was an alternative. But I knew Victoria was right. Ironic as it sounded, I knew it was right. Whether it was for her sake or Brooke's, she had a point. I was grieving. I was grieving for my last days were to come. It was in a matter of days- not weeks- that I knew I had to do _**this**_.

I had to do this. For Brooke. Not for us.

_**Yeah you choose to be  
On the side of me**_

* * *

**AN: SO, what was Lucas talking about? Give me your theories, guys! Oh! I remembered, please have a box of Kleenex beside you from now on. I'm on my climactic part already. I love it! I love the angst! I'm so excited to write it!**

**And I'm making a deal, I review after **10** reviews…please, please give me 10 or more reviews! Thanks! But if I'm itching to update, I will. But please, please give me at least 10 reviews! Thanks so much!**

**OneTreeHillForeverLover- **I'm saying right now, it's not that. It's so much bigger than that. You have to figure out what was Victoria's side of the bargain. Thanks for the review!

**iloveothmica- **HI! I missed you! LOL! Where were you, by the way? Nope, Brooke didn't fire Victoria. That incident was just one of their occasional arguments. Thanks for the review!

**BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE- **Yah, that would be horrible. Don't worry, that wasn't it. Thanks for the review!

**hoeoverbros- **Figure it out! LOL! Thanks for the review!

**whiters- **Ah! My favorite reviewer! LOL! Yah, you're right what Victoria said to Lucas changed it all. How? Figure it out! LOL! Thanks for the review!

**Sophia-Chad- **Don't be scared, be sad. LOL! The next chapters until the end will be FULL of angst. Thanks for the review!

**onetreefan- **sorry I didn't get the chapter in 10 minutes! LOL! I hope this makes up for it. Yeah, stupid Victoria! Always ruining Brucas! Thanks for the review!

**IamCaroline- **We all love fun and flirty Brucas! But, I'm afraid I'm going to deprive all of us of that. Tune in! Thanks for always being my first reviewer!

**PouringDownRain- **Thanks for the alert! Review for me? Thanks!

_Song: On the Side of Me by Corrinne May_

**--cheery**


	18. Bottle It Up

**AN: ****POLL:**_If you were Brooke Davis, what would be the biggest loss to your company? A slot in Paris Fashion Week? A deal with Michael Kors? Sales are going down?_** Let me know! And also, if you have other ideas, send them in! I need them for the next chapter. Your replies would be GREATLY appreciated! I'm going to use it for the next chapter.**

* * *

_**There'll be girls across the nation  
That will eat this up babe  
I know that it's your soul but could you bottle it up and  
Get down to the heart of it,  
No it's my heart you're shit out of your luck  
Don't make me tell you again my love, love, love, love.  
Love, love, love, love.**_

"**Fine. Lucas, I really want to thank you for this. For everything." **I said. I was really thankful that Lucas was there beside althoughout my work. He was there to comfort. He was there to help with anything he could do. He was my friend. He was my comforter. And most of all, he was the love of my life- the _**only**_ love of my life. I had no idea how I would manage if ever he went away- well, it's not like he's going to get away soon, right?

Then he touched my face. But his touch was different. His hands had an unusual feeling to them. His eyes looked different, too. Usually, they shadowed happiness and love. But, now, they were shadowing sadness and pain. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. This wasn't normal for us. Lucas didn't caress my face like this before- not that I'm not enjoying it. There was something. I knew it. It was as if he was memorizing my face. He was giving me that look like he was going to leave anytime soon. Something at the pit of my stomach told me this gesture of his was a way of saying goodbye. No! Nothing was going on. He would tell me if there was something going on. He didn't have plans of going anytime soon. He wasn't going to leave. No, that was just my imagination.

But, then, why was I feeling like this? Why did my gut feeling tell me that something was going to happen soon? I brushed away the thought. Lucas must have really missed me that much. I was looking on the bright side. We just loved and missed each other this much. Yeah, that's right. That was the reason- the _**only**_ reason to explain his actions. Nothing else.

"**What was that for?" **I asked with a cheerful, but confused tone. I didn't want to show my nervousness.

"**I'm going to miss you." **He said.

OK, let's back up a minute there. He's going to miss me? Was he going to leave or something? Again, the thought entered my head. As fast as it came, as fast as I pushed it away. No, he was going to miss me because we won't see each other for half a day. Then again, I had to be sure that was it.

"**Broody, I'll only be gone for half a day. I'll drop by your house, ok? Besides, you're the one who wanted this."**

"**I know. But I'll still miss you."**

"**I'm going to miss you, too."**

His face wasn't the usual bright face I had seen in him. Sure, he was smiling and everything. But that wasn't his usual face. His usual smile would have been dimpled and would have reached his ears. But this one didn't. His eyes were giving him away either. His eyes looked droopy and sad, though they were still the tantalizing blue eyes that I loved. I didn't know what was happening. All I knew is there was something different about him. I wanted to ask him, but I didn't want to push it. He probably wanted some time alone to think, if there was even a problem. He would tell me these things, right? He would tell me if there was something going on, or if there was something wrong. I knew he would.

_**I am aiming to be somebody this somebody trusts  
With her delicate soul  
I don't claim to know much except soon as you start  
To make room for the parts  
That aren't you it gets harder to bloom in a garden of  
Love, love, love, love  
Love, love, love, love**_

Then, I was caught off- guard. Lucas was hugging me, like a bear. I had to actually breathe deeply to live. He was crushing me against his chest. He was holding my head like a captive, not wanting it to escape. He was kissing my hair a lot of times, like it was the first time he had done it. Lucas was confusing me. What was happening to him? Did he have the same nightmare as mine- the one where he died? I had no idea as to what was happening right now. If only I could interpret Lucas' actions, I would say that he was saying goodbye. But he wasn't saying goodbye, was he? This was just the affectionate side of Lucas that I had yet to see, or had not seen for a very long time.

"**I wish we could stay like this forever." **He said. I just nodded in response.

"**Broody, you're suffocating me." **I finally said, after having the difficulty to breathe.

"**I love you, Brooke." **He said.

Then he kissed my forehead. My forehead? He kissed my forehead? Just the forehead? No offense, I liked the gesture and all. But this wasn't the "normal" Lucas. The Lucas I knew would have kissed me full and square on the lips, like what we were doing this morning. Lucas has never kissed me on the forehead unless…he was leaving.

I didn't know what was happening. I was in my imagination when I saw him leaving. I didn't know what came over me. I suddenly felt like I had to savor this moment. Somewhere at the back of my brain gave in to the idea that he was actually leaving…leaving me. Though I didn't want to believe it, half of me surrendered and opened myself to the possibility of it. But, I was betting my life that it wouldn't happen anytime soon. It was _**just**_ an idea; an idea that was formed by my irrational, and ridiculous imagination. There wasn't any truth behind it. I was sure. I was decided. It was not going to happen soon.

I suddenly felt the urge say those words back, just in case I would never say them again. No, that's foolish! Stupid! Bizarre! Of course I would be able to say those words again! We had the entire eternity to say those things back and forth! Nevertheless, I said them, just for the sake of telling him how much I loved him.

"**I love you too, Luke."**

Were those tears I saw on his beautiful, god- like face? Was Lucas crying? I didn't get to see his face that much. Something must be really bothering him. I decided not to push it. I'll just ask about it later, or whenever he was ready to talk about it. I wanted him to know that eh could talk about anything to me. I wanted him to be open to me. I wanted him to be honest. But, I didn't want to push him, either. If he wanted to talk, he would come to me, right?

_**Only thing I ever could need, only one good thing  
Worth trying to be and it's**_

_**Love  
I do it for Love  
Love  
**_

I laid off the thought for a while and focused on my work. I sighed. How come there are so many things for me to do? Was I out of schedule? Was my piling up? Nevertheless, I decided to get on to it.

Then, Jess barged in my door again.

"**Brooke, the head of the Fashion Department, Nicole, wanted to know if you have proof- read her department's articles for the next issue? They're kind of on a crunch time."**

"**Well, did they give me their articles already?"**

"**Yup. I put it on your table two weeks ago.**

"**Two weeks ago? I don't remember anything, Jess. Are you sure?"**

"**Uh- huh. I'm sure, Brooke. I'm sure it's just there."**

"**Well, could you help me look for it? My table is going nuts!"**

Literally, it was going nuts. Lots of papers, folders, magazines, and what- nots are scattered on it. And they were on a very high pile. Really! Had I miss this much? Where was I when these things were put on my desk? Finally, we managed to find those articles. They were on the most bottom part of the pile, squished under other papers that needed my approval. What happened to this office?

"**How come I didn't see these things before?"**

"**Brooke, to be honest, you were barely here."**

"**Jess, I was here all the time, all days last week. I was working my ass off."**

I snapped. I wasn't usually like this. To be honest, I knew, deep down there, that Jess was right. I might be physically present in the office, but I knew my mind was on somewhere else. I just didn't want to actually admit that in front of my assistant. I didn't want them to think that I was a scumbag of a company president, though I really was.

"**I'm sorry, Jess. I was just stressed out and I felt so hectic about all these work. I didn't know they would pile up this much. But, I really appreciate you being my assistant."**

"**Thanks, Brooke. And I completely understand your situation. I would be acting like that if I was in your shoes. If there's any more that I could do, please, just tell me."**

"**I will, Jess. Thanks, really."**

Time flew fast before I even knew it was flying. After so many hours, I was ready to ditch everything else and go home. It was 6 in the evening, and I was beat. I was able to meet with Karl Lagerfeld, and Kim Kardashian. I was able to do the meeting with Kitson's, and I managed to approve some stuff for the magazine. Then, I was decided to go home. I called Jess again.

_**We can understand the sentiment you're saying to us  
Oh, but sensible sells so could you kindly shut up  
And get started  
At keeping your part of the bargain aw please  
Little darlin'  
You're killing me sweetly with love, love, love, love  
Love, love, love, love**_

"**Jess, I couldn't go on any longer. I would have to reschedule the other meetings for tomorrow. Call Nina Garcia, and tell her to meet me earlier tomorrow. I couldn't do dinner again. Tell Barney's I'll have lunch with them tomorrow. I'm going home."**

"**Brooke, you can't."**

"**What do you mean I can't? I can, and I will."**

"**No, what I meant was you can't reschedule everything for tomorrow. I had your schedule done for tomorrow already. It's jam- packed."**

"**What?! What do I have for tomorrow?"**

"**You have to meet Lauren Conrad because we will be featuring her line for our magazine. Then, Vanity Fair called. They wanted you to be part of their cover, since they would be asking fashion designers to be on the cover, and they'll like you to be part of it. Then, you have the monthly meeting with the staff to discuss next month's issue. All I can squish in is the Nina Garcia meeting."**

"**Jess, do what you have to do to squish everything in. If you can't, call off the meetings. I don't care. Just give me breaks in between. And I'm still going home. I'm tired. I could hardly think anymore. Do whatever you have to. I trust you."**

"**Brooke, are you sure you want me to cancel these meetings? They're kind of a big deal, and a big asset to the company."**

"**Whatever. Do whatever you think is right. I'm leaving everything in your hands. Just tell me what I have to do." **I said almost exasperatedly. I'm tired, I'm pressured, I can think coherently. What else does she expect of me?

"**I'll try."**

"**Ok, thanks. I'm going to go."**

I was practically lifeless when I arrived home. I laid my bag onto the couch and proceeded to the door. I kicked off my heels and opened my bedroom door. Suddenly, all my tiredness and agitation went away at the sight in front of me. There at my bed was a black dress, matched with jewelry, and a pair of red heels. I looked around to see any sign of the culprit. Though I knew very well who did this, I was hoping _**he**_would show up. I was hoping Lucas was there in my bedroom. Sadly, he wasn't. I leaped to see my dress. There was a note on top of it.

_**Pretty Girl,**_

_**Wear this. I'm going to pick you up at 8. I'm taking you out to dinner. Please be ready.**_

_**Love you.  
**_

_**Lucas**_

I have to give it to Lucas. He sure knew what my taste in fashion was. The red heels were a killer! I smiled while reading the letter. Only Lucas could ease my stress and instantly remove any anxiety and fatigue that I was feeling. I looked at my watch. It was already 6: 30, which meant I only had 1 and a half hours to dress up. I almost ran to the bathroom and cleaned myself quickly.

_**Started as a flicker meant to be a flame  
Skin has gotten thicker but it burns the same  
Still a baby in a cradle got to take my first fall  
Baby's getting next to nowhere with her back  
Against the wall.  
You meant to make me happy make me sad.  
Want to make it better, better so bad.  
But save your resolutions for your never new year  
There is only one solution I can see here.**_

Tonight was the most romantic night of my life. Nothing could ever ruin it, right?

* * *

If I was going to do _**this**_, I had to be prepared. I figured to take Brooke out for dinner. This would probably be my last day before I would start grieving again. I made a reservation at **Daniel's **restaurant. I bought her favorite flowers, red daisies to be exact.

Tonight, I deserve to be happy. I need to be happy. If I was going to do _**this**_, I need to do this right- well, not that I had decided already. I figured I was going to let Brooke decide for me. I was going to see how much the company meant to her, how much she valued her mother, and where was I in this whole scenario.

I hoped Brooke would fight against the odds, and completely change my mind. I was never this nervous in my entire life! When this night ends, either my life would break, or it would sail just fine.

Brooke's heart, or Brooke's dream? It's all up to her.

_**Love you're all I ever could need only one good thing  
Worth trying to be and it's  
Love  
I do it for love, love, love, love  
Oh, only gonna get, get what you give away,  
So give love, love  
Only gonna get, get what you give away  
Love.**_

* * *

**AN: Sorry for the very short update, guys! I just need a filler chapter like this before I go to the dinner, which is coming in the next chapter. And still, I need you guys to figure out what Victoria bargained with Lucas! Send me your theories!**

**And also, don't forget the poll I posted at the beginning of the chapter! Thanks!**

**You know the drill, after 10 reviews or so, I'll update. If you have other die- hard Brucas allies, please tell them to read my story, too, and review them. That way I'll update faster! Benefits all of you, and me!**

**OneTreeHillForeverLover- **Ummmm…don't make Brucas end? I don't know about that. Let's just say that it can't ALWAYS be smooth sailing between them, but there will be some smooth sailing between them. Hope whatever happens doesn't disappoint you. Thanks for the review!

**BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE- **What does Lucas have to do? You'll find out in the next chapter, or the chapter after the next. But, you'll find out soon enough! Well, that is if I get enough reviews…it'll probably the biggest shocker in the whole story.

**hoeoverbros- **Thanks for the great reviews!

**Sophia-Chad- **Is Lucas going to break up with her? Hmmm…you'll find that out sooner! Is that "good excited" or "bad excited?" But thanks for loving my story and the great reviews!

**onetreefan- **Oh! Don't worry, I'm not going to put the HCM storyline in here. It makes me sad just by thinking of Lucas' heart condition so I'm not putting it in here. No offense, but the idea of making your heart shatter is actually a compliment to me, believe it or not. I know a couple of ways how to make your heart shatter, metaphorically speaking, of course. Thanks for the review!

**brucas2gether- **Brucas is a masochistic couple, so you know what to expect from them, right? Thanks for the review! Thanks for the alert, too!

**IamCaroline- **OMG! You have just been added to my "favorite of all favorite reviewers" list! About your theory, you're REALLY close…like you're 80 close! Just a little flaw about something, though. But good job on coming up with it! Thanks for the great review!

**oth234234- **You are so right! "Suspense" is the name of the game! Watch out for more!

**iloveothmica- **What did Victoria say to Brooke? I'm wondering if I'll say it straightforward, or leave it hanging and let you guys figure it out. I'm still thinking, though. Thanks for the review! (P.S I completely envy you! I want me some beach!)

**brookenlucas4eva03- **I can't promise you anything. So sorry! But thanks for reviewing, though.

_Song: Bottle It Up by Sara Bareilles_

**--cheery**


	19. Innocence

_**Waking up I see that everything is OK  
The first time in my life and now it's so great  
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed  
I think about the little things that make life great**_

I finished preparing myself at around 7: 55. OK, 5 minutes. Lucas would be here any time soon. I found myself shaking very slightly. I was constantly asking myself about how I looked. My mind was racing and thinking a million of thoughts. I started pacing around my room. Why was I acting like this? I was never like this. I had a lot of dates with different guys already, but why did I feel like this was the first time I would ever go on a date? And it's Lucas for heaven's sake! The man I had gone to numerous dates with. Why did this feel different?

7: 59. 1 minute.

My heart seemed to beat more rapidly than ever! My thoughts and worries intensified as the seconds ticked by. I paced faster, my heels click- clacking here and there. I started to bite my fingernails. I would stop for a few seconds to check myself in the mirror. So far, so good. Then, I paced again. Gosh! Why was I this nervous? Butterflies were fluttering in my stomach- big and mature ones, may I add. A few seconds ticked by, then the doorbell rang. I stopped abruptly and stiffened. This was it. The moment I was waiting for. I breathed deeply and walked slowly to the door. I opened it and was greeted by a very ravishing Lucas.

It seemed like he, too, was pacing- or should I say brooding- on my front door. When I opened, he stopped and looked up to face me. A wide grin broke into his face. I felt myself blushing, but kept a grin on my face, too. Moments went by but neither of us said a word. Both were too busy admiring the sight in front of them. Lucas looked as taken aback as I was. We both snapped out of our daze as Lucas brought something from behind him.

"**Red daisies for a fine, young lady." **He said with an oh-so formal voice. I decided to play along.

"**Oh. Why, thank you, kind sir." **I said. He chuckled for a moment.

"**You look very nice, Brooke." **

"**All thanks to you, Broody. You picked out a killer outfit."**

"**My pleasure. You don't need to have those clothes to look nice, though. You're a natural beauty." **He complimented. Was Lucas flirting with me? Still, a warm feeling crept up to my cheeks as I knew they were painted red again.

"**You cleaned up pretty well, too."**

"**Well, I have to look as equally hot as my girlfriend."**

"**Oh. Don't worry. I think you're way past the standards. We're one hot couple." **I joked.

"**That, we are. So, are you ready?"**

"**Yup. Where are we going, by the way?"**

"**You'll see."**

I looked up at him and smiled. He, too, was smiling back at me. He guided me towards the car, and opened the passenger seat for me. I got in and waited for him to get in. When he did, he turned on the CD player, and the sweet sound of bossa nova filled the air. My favorite type of music was bossa nova, and this was my favorite CD. The vibe was so relaxing, and the one that would relieve your stress. The quiet purr of the car sounded.

"**How did you know that these were my favorite songs?" **I asked.

"**I just knew. These were my favorites, too." **

"**Lucas, thank you very much for this. For everything." **

He said nothing. He just smiled back. He took my hand and laced it with his own. He was driving single- handedly.

_**I wouldn't change a thing about it  
This is the best feeling**_

The ride in the car was quiet. Both of us were just enjoying the soft music that was sounding in the car. Occasionally, Lucas would take our entwined hands and kiss it. I would smile back and give it a gentle squeeze. I was looking outside most of the time, engulfed in my thoughts. This night was the best night I had ever since I moved here to New York. I never noticed how alive and bright this place was during the night. As the car sped through the city, I found myself appreciating it more. Of course, this was the birth place of my ultimate dream, Clothes over Bros. Not only that, this was the place where Lucas and I reunited.

We rode in the car very quietly, none of us speaking a word so as not to ruin the peaceful vibe we have created within ourselves. Once in a while, I would feel Lucas' gaze on me. I would turn my head in his direction, and there he was, looking directly into my eyes. I was more preoccupied with the thought that he was staring deep into my soul, than the thought that we might get into a car accident if he didn't focus his eyes on the road. Lucas was staring at me lovingly, his eyes were so warm, his blue orbs looking more inviting than ever.

"**Broody, if you want us to see your surprise in one- piece, you better keep your eyes on the road." **I joked. He chuckled.

"**Right." **He said.

We were silent again, the positive vibe surrounding us again. I liked this. If this is what we would always be, I wouldn't trade anything to give this up. This was the life I wanted with Lucas. Quiet surroundings, a home filled with love. I would feel Lucas brush his thumb over the knuckles of our entwined hands. He would lift them up and kiss them. This would cause me to look back at him and smile.

_**This innocence is brilliant  
I hope that it will stay  
This moment is perfect  
Please don't go away  
I need you now  
And I'll hold on to it  
Don't you let it pass you by**_

Then I felt the car slowing down. We must be near, I thought. The car came to a halt once we reached the valet parking of a very familiar restaurant. I furrowed my eyebrows in thought, thinking hard where I first saw this place. I was so lost in my thoughts that I failed to notice that Lucas was already out of the driver's seat, making his way over to my door. I felt the door open, and was a little bit startled.

"**Pretty Girl, we're here." **He said, offering his hand for me to take.

My forehead was probably creased in thought as Lucas thought something was wrong. I was still thinking hard. **Daniel's, **the name of the restaurant said. Its elegant script lit up from the front of the restaurant in a very bright shade of red. The feeling this restaurant gave me was so familiar. It was as if I had been here before. I glanced around the area, trying to pick out some clues. Everything was a blur. I knew I have seen this before, I just didn't know when and where.

"**Brooke, everything alright?" **Lucas asked as he ushered me inside the restaurant. His hand was on the small of my back as he guided me through the doors.

I was still lost in my thoughts.

"**Table for two. Under Scott." **Lucas said. His voice was faint, like he was from a far away distance.

"**This way, Sir." **

I found myself being guided to a table. I could feel my feet moving walking, but I was sure the force from Lucas' grip was pushing me more. I felt like being dragged. Why couldn't I remember this place?

Lucas stopped for a moment in front of my supposed to be seat. He pulled it for me and motioned me to sit. I was still unconscious as I did this. I didn't even find the voice to thank him. Oh, how rude of me! Then, I felt Lucas' gaze at me from his seat that was directly across from mine. He took my hands to his own, and rubbed them soothingly.

"**Brooke, is everything alright? Do you not like this place? We could go if you want." **He said, worry now seen on his face.

"**No, no. I love it. In fact, it's the best restaurant I have ever been. I just feel like I have been here before, you know. I just can't remember when. It's making me frustrated." **I said exasperatedly.

"**Is that all you're worried at?" **Lucas asked. I didn't know if it was just me, or I really heard Lucas chuckle. He thought this was funny?

"**You think this is funny?" **I said, my blood starting to boil.

"**Calm down, Brooke. I took you here. It was me who went with you to this restaurant, remember? It was the night that I got the news that my book would be published. I called you up and took you here to celebrate. Now, do you remember?" **He asked, his eyes full with sincerity.

"**Oh! Now I remember! Gosh! I knew I knew this place! I'm sorry for springing on you." **

Lucas held up one hand. **"No worries. I'm just glad that you liked this place."**

"**I loved everything you have planned out even from the start. Thank you, Lucas. Really."**

"**Enough thank you's, if we must. You deserve all of this. So, shall we order?"**

In an instant, the waiter was at out side. Pen and paper in his hands, waiting for us to place our orders. I was impressed.

_**I found a place so safe, not a single tear  
The first time in my life and now it's so clear  
Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here  
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere**_

The night was going well so far. Lucas ordered almost all the food there was on the menu. Conversation flowed through us endlessly, never running out of things to talk about. We even found ourselves laughing so hard at some things that we had to stop ourselves from smiling and grinning. We ate everything from pastas to chicken to fish to pizzas. I was so stuffed, but found myself unable to resist the foods that looked and smelled so enticing and delicious. Everything just invited me in.

"**So? How was office today?"** Lucas asked, taking a mouthful of pesto.

"**It was ok, I guess." **I said simply, not wanting to delve in the details. OK was so far from what happened in work today. It was horrible, to say the least! I knew my face betrayed me. I was so happy and joyful one minute ago, and in just a snap of a finger, all of that went away.

"**OK? Brooke, when did 'ok' become such a negative word? You don't look ok. Come on. Tell me." **He pushed.

"**Fine. Jess said that I was barely at the office nowadays. I had this meeting with Karl Lagerfeld about him wanting me to do a fashion line for H&M. I mean, he wants me to pass the sketches next Monday! Lucas, it's Wednesday and he wants me to pass them on Monday! What the hell?! Then that Kardashian girl wanted to sell my clothes in their shop, which is the best thing that happened to me, I guess. I have to do a meeting with Nina Garcia about God-knows-what, which was supposed to be today, but I cancelled on the last minute because I was too stressed. Hell! I was supposed to have lunch with Barney's! And I'm fully booked tomorrow!" **I let out a breath of frustration that I didn't know I was holding. I probably said all of this in one breath. I was breathing so deeply after finishing my rant. My head dropped into my hands, shaking it in disbelief. I brushed away some tears that formed in my eyes. Thank God I was wearing waterproof mascara!

_**I wouldn't change a thing about it  
This is the best feeling**_

I looked up to see Lucas dumbfounded. He was like a sculpture etched on his seat, not moving, not even breathing. He was just looking at me weirdly. His eyebrows were furrowed, his forehead creased, his eyes were droopy and emotionless, and his lips were pursed into a hard line. His jaw was rigid and clenched, like he was holding back an emotion. I found this all weird. The Lucas I knew would take my hands in his own and say comforting words to soothe me. But that wasn't the case right now. I instantly become worried for him.

"**Lucas, are you ok?" **I asked, shaking him out of his daze.

"**Of course." **He said tersely. His jaw unclenched for a tiny bit, but his whole face remained the same. I wondered why.

"**Are you sure?"**

"**Yah, yah. Wow, Brooke. That was a lot." **He said distractedly. I knew he tried to be happy and smile, but his face failed to do so. I was surprised at his reaction. It was like he knew I had these problems all along. It was as if he knew them already, and was expecting them to happen. He looked downright miserable.

"**I know. Tell me about it." **I muttered, taking a sip of my wine.

"**Brooke, can I ask you some questions? If you don't mind, of course." **He asked, the same façade on his face.

"**Of course. Go shoot!" **I said, half- nervous.

"**What is 'Clothes over Bros' for you?" **He asked tersely.

"**What do you mean, Lucas?"**

"**I mean, how much do you value it? How much does it mean it you? Where does it stand in your life?"**

"**Oh my gosh! You have no idea. It's, like, my ultimate dream. I knew I wanted this from the start. I would have traded anything to get it when we were still in highschool. Now that I have it, I would trade anything not to give it up. It's too much to give up. I mean, it opened a lot of opportunities for me. It gave me self- fulfillment. Hell! My life revolves around it. And you're asking me where does it stand? Let's just say that I wouldn't be like this if it wasn't born. I owe so much to it that I just cannot simply let it go." **I said, snapping out of my daze, which I didn't know I was in. I found myself smiling while speaking. It took every fiber of me just to answer Lucas' question clearly. Words really couldn't suffice the worth of Clothes over Bros in my life. Simple words weren't enough to explain it. They just can't. Even if it gave me sleepless night and early mornings, even if it kept on beating me to death, I loved it more passionately than I loved anything in my life.

_**It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming  
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling  
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry  
**_

I didn't know if my eyes were playing tricks on me. I thought I saw Lucas' face fall. It was like he was rejected, defeated at some battle. In a second, a shot of pain and loss flashed through his face, more evidently on his eyes. But I wasn't sure. It only happened in a fraction of a second. The next time I blinked, the unreadable face was on again.

"**Mmmm…" **He said. He fell into deep thought, probably thinking of his next question.

"**Any other investigatory questions for me, Broody?" **I asked, trying to lighten the weird feeling that surrounded us, which I failed to do.

"**How much do you love Victoria?" **He asked deliberately. He looked up and threw the question at me in an instant.

I was taken aback. I didn't know how to respond. It wasn't a question I did not give a thought of as of now. I did not really think about these things.

"**Can you wait for a moment? I'm trying to compose my thoughts. That was pretty straightforward, I'll be honest. I wasn't expecting that." **I said. He just nodded in response, which was pretty weird because Lucas would've just laughed at my reaction. Nevertheless, I stopped for a moment to think about my answer, thinking carefully so as to be honest to him.

"**Well, Victoria is still my mother. Even if the world turns upside down, she is still my mother. There's nothing I could do about that. I mean, yah, she could be a bitch if she wants to, but she is still my mother. She's still my own flesh and blood, you know? I cannot just simply abandon her. She may have abandoned me when I was young, but she came back. I have wanted to be with my mother for so long now, and now I got it. It's here…she's here…my wish was granted. Somehow, I am thankful for having her. I know she has my best interests at heart. She was pushing me so hard to work to the best of my abilities because, I believe, she knows that's right. She only wants the best for me. Though it may seem like she only cares for herself, I know that deep down, she cares for me, too. I could feel like she really loves me. I'm really just trying to focus on the positive side of her." **I said thoughtfully. I have never poured out this much about Victoria. In fact, that was the first time I was asked about that. I didn't know that was how I felt. Part of me was glad that this happened. This helped me decipher what I really was thinking and feeling.

Lucas' face became sadder and sadder each time I answer his questions. I didn't understand why. Then, a thought from this morning suddenly flashed into my mind. His face this morning. That was the same face that he had now. The feeling of worry and curiosity kicked in me again. The thoughts from this morning came rushing inside again. I didn't know why, but it seemed to me like there was a puzzle I had to solve, and these were the pieces. The way he touched and caressed my face; that was what I felt when our hands were locked in the car this morning. It was the same feeling that I felt when he touched it, and when he traced patterns on my hand. It was like he was memorizing them. Maybe I was putting too much thought into this. Maybe I was overreacting. I didn't know. I wasn't sure of anything just yet. I wanted to find out so badly, but I held back. I wanted Lucas to tell me if there was something bothering him at his won accord. I didn't want to push him. I wanted him to come to me. I tried to focus on what's happening now. I pushed back these worries, seriously hoping they would haunt me some other time, when I was in a much better mood, when there was something in the present that had to be dealt with, like the way Lucas was acting now.

"**I get it." **He said carefully and softly.

"**Get what?" **I asked, confused.

"**Never mind. Are you done?" **He asked, the same front again, not wanting me see through it.

"**Yup. I'm pretty much full."**

Lucas got the bill, and we went out of the restaurant. Lucas had his hand on my back as he led me back to the car. He opened the passenger door for me without a word, and I quickly slid in. He went over to the other side of the car, and got in. the engine came to life in a quiet purr, and the driving began.

"**Is there somewhere you like to go? The rest of the night is up to you." **He said, his eyes fixed on the road.

"**Nope. I think I just want to go home. I'm pretty much beat." **I said as an unconscious yawn escaped my mouth.

Lucas didn't speak another word. He just kept on driving. The feeling that surrounded the inside of the car was different, _awfully_ different. There was definitely something wrong. I could just feel it. I didn't know what it was. I just knew there is. I unconsciously fought with myself as I deliberated on whether to ask Lucas what's wrong or not. I pursed my lips into a hard, thin line to stop myself from speaking without my knowing. I decided to just give it up, and stick with the original plan: Let Lucas come to me and talk about it. Part of me told me that knowing Lucas, that talk would never come. Most likely, he would just keep it to himself, and let me know when he was already in too deep. The least I could do right now is to be there for him.

_**It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry  
This innocence is brilliant  
Makes you wanna cry  
This innocence is brilliance  
Please don't go away  
Cause I need you now  
And I'll hold on to it  
Don't you let it pass you by**_

There were times that I reached out my hand to entwine it with his own. But, somehow, his other hand would either be playing with the stereo buttons, or on the steering wheel. I found this all funny considering the way he acted so affectionate while on our way to the restaurant. Once again, I didn't push it. Maybe he was just tired, too. I convinced myself that.

We reached my house. Lucas silently turned off the engine and got out of the car. I arranged my things as I Lucas opened my door.

"**Come on. Go inside for a while." **I asked, grabbing his hand and leading him to the house, before he could even refuse.

I opened the door and proceeded to my bedroom. I walked past my vanity table and hit the button of my answering machine. The voice said I had 5 messages. Somehow, I didn't find this surprising. I stopped in front of my mirror and took out my jewelry, while listening to the messages play.

"_**Brooke, it's me. Call back."**_The first message said. It was from Jess, obviously.

"_**Call me back AS SOON as you get this."**_

"_**Brooke! I need you to call me ASAP. Please." **_My face scrunched up in confusion. Jess never sounded like this, unless it was something so important. What did I miss?

"_**Are you there? Call me the second you get this."**_

"_**Brooke, Jess here. I just called to say that the President of Barney's, one of our biggest deals, just pulled out all their investments, and I mean ALL. I know it's bizarre, but I'm working on it. Just stay put, we're going to get them back. When you get this, call me." **_

Jess' voice was clear as glass. Barney's just pulled out their investments on our company. Barney's, who owned almost half of the investments, just pulled out. That's right, the company would be losing money and I was screwed. Just one innocent meeting that I failed to do.

I found myself dropping to the floor, and shaking. Oh. It was my sobs that were shaking me. Uncontrollable loud cries echoed in the room. I couldn't see anything from the tears. All I knew that a pair of strong hands were hugging me.

Everything was spinning. Then everything was black. I was drowning into an ocean of darkness.

_**This innocence is brilliant  
I hope that it will stay  
This moment is perfect  
Please don't go away  
I need you now  
And I'll hold on to it  
Don't you let it pass you by**_

* * *

**AN: OMG! Yay! This was, so far, my longest chapter! Yay! I was so inspired to write! Dunno why...**

**Yah, I know. I haven't updated in a long while. Trish and Mica were already hinting me. LOL! So, what's wrong with Lucas? That's everybody's question! What deal did he make with the devil- the devil being Victoria? You'll find out in the next chapter or so. The next chapter will contain aftermath of this in Brooke's POV, and the dinner and the aftermath in Lucas' POV. If that gets long, I'll reveal everything in the next chapter after the next. You guys really have to wait! Thanks!**

**Brucasfan23- **Thanks for the review and alerts!

**hoeoverbros- **I used your idea in the poll. Thanks!

**BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE- **I'm not saying that Lucas won't choose. There is definitely something that pushes him to choose the fate that he doesn't wish for, it's just there, it's pushing itself to him, and there's nothing he can do to but to take it, you know? I think I've given way too much. LOL! Thanks for the review.

**Sophia-Chad- **Thank God it's "good exciting." Proposal? No. Not in the very near future, but that MIGHT come. I don't know yet. Promise me you'll maintain the "good exciting" althroughout the story? Thanks!

**OTHbrucas4ever- **Hi Trish! Oh, sorry for killing you. LOL! I think you might be buried 12 feet under the ground after reading this, seeing that I haven't revealed what's happening to Lucas _**yet**_. LOL! Thanks for the review!

**IamCaroline- **I took your idea on the poll, too! LOL! I'm sure everyone's feeling Brucas' pain. But everything will be cleared out very soon. Hmmm…since this is your second try, I'm not going to say if you're right or wrong. You're a good guesser, though. wink Thanks!

**onetreefan- **Brooke? Fashion mistake? Never! LOL! Thanks for always tuning in!

**iloveothmica- **LOL! You're just like Trish! You'll find out soon!

**whiters- **Thanks for being excited! Please keep that excitement coming. A lot more tricks up my sleeve. Thanks for the review!

**brookenlucas4eva03- **I'm definitely continuing! LOL! Continue reviewing? Thanks!

_Song: Innocence by Avril Lavigne_

**--cheery**


	20. Coffee and Cigarettes

"**Fine. Jess said that I was barely at the office nowadays. I had this meeting with Karl Lagerfeld about him wanting me to do a fashion line for H&M. I mean, he wants me to pass the sketches next Monday! Lucas, it's Wednesday and he wants me to pass them on Monday! What the hell?! Then that Kardashian girl wanted to sell my clothes in their shop, which is the best thing that happened to me, I guess. I have to do a meeting with Nina Garcia about God-knows-what, which was supposed to be today, but I cancelled on the last minute because I was too stressed. Hell! I was supposed to have lunch with Barney's! And I'm fully booked tomorrow!" **Brooke rambled for a whole minute, without breathing. She let out a sigh of frustration as her head dropped into her hands. I saw a few tears welling up in her eyes.

_**I gave up coffee and cigarettes  
I hate to say it hasn't helped me yet  
I thought my problems would just dissipate  
And all my pain would be in yesterday**_

I couldn't react to that. I couldn't even move at all. Hell! I couldn't think straight, either. I should be comforting her. I should be holding her hand, telling her that everything would be ok. I was dumbfounded. I was awestruck. I knew this was coming. I knew it. I told Brooke many times to put her job above me. Yet, she kept on spending time with me. Now this happened. Her company was suffering. I was slowly letting myself give in to the _**fate**_ I did not decide for myself. Fate decided to interfere with my life and force _**something**_ that I had no choice but to follow. I was succumbing to the idea that _**what**_ it was saying and forcing me to do was right; that it was for the best. But there was still a faint spark of hope. It was still there. I was going to take on all chances to see if there was still something for me here. I was looking for a sign that would tell me I had to choose otherwise.

"**Lucas, are you ok?" **Brooke asked. I could see the worry in her eyes, reflecting them.

"**Of course." **I said. I decided to speak no more. Otherwise, my words would betray me. I knew my face would give it all away, but I was wishing Brooke wouldn't notice.

"**Are you sure?"**

"**Yah, yah. Wow, Brooke. That was a lot." **I said. I decided to make a light mood out of it. I was forcing myself. I was pushing myself to be happy, and not to aggravate things. I really was. But, somehow, I wasn't making progress. I knew it would be only a matter of time when I couldn't hide the sadness in me any longer. But, I had to keep it as long as I can. In just a snap of a finger, my future was decided; my fate was etched on a stone. The happiness inside of me was all sucked out. I searched within every fiber of me for some sign of happiness. I looked everywhere in my brain for a thought that would bring me happiness. I found nothing. Sadness and remorse were all there were.

"**I know. Tell me about it."**

"**Brooke, can I ask you some questions? If you don't mind, of course." **I asked, staring down at my food so as not to break my façade.

"**Of course. Go shoot!"**

"**What is 'Clothes over Bros' for you?" **I asked, faking my innocence.

"**What do you mean, Lucas?"**

"**I mean, how much do you value it? How much does it mean it you? Where does it stand in your life?"**

"**Oh my gosh! You have no idea. It's, like, my ultimate dream. I knew I wanted this from the start. I would have traded anything to get it when we were still in highschool. Now that I have it, I would trade anything not to give it up. It's too much to give up. I mean, it opened a lot of opportunities for me. It gave me self- fulfillment. Hell! My life revolves around it. And you're asking me where does it stand? Let's just say that I wouldn't be like this if it wasn't born. I owe so much to it that I just cannot simply let it go." **She explained.

I was selfish. No, I was worse than selfish. Call me greedy. Call me everything that is synonymous to that, for every word would be fitting for me. Alongside that selfishness that was slowly devouring me was the feeling of helplessness. I couldn't do anything. Brooke was in her own "happy world" when she was explaining. Her dimpled smile reached to her ears. The saddest thing was I couldn't take that away from her. I couldn't just take away that dream of hers. She herself said that she would do anything _**not**_ to give it up. My answer was there! My answer was dancing in front of me all along, just waiting for me to grab and accept it. But I wasn't. I was still holding on for dear life to that faint spark; that spark that seemed to be losing its glow as the night progressed. Why was I hurting myself? I knew the answer all along. I was just stubborn enough not to accept it. I was thinking I had a chance, that her dream was nothing compared to me. I was wrong. I was completely wrong.

I knew my face was betraying all this time. At that moment, I felt that my heart was taken away from me. It was beating so faintly, but it suddenly stopped, like it had gone from existence. I felt like something hard punched me in the stomach that would probably send me flying to the other side of the continent. I could not suppress the feeling. It was etched in me. It was engraved on a stone, a stone that was my heart. It was a scar that would take never to disappear. Still, I pressed. If I would have to suffer some more, bring it on.

"**Mmmm…"** it was all that I could muster. I was afraid that if I spoke some more, I would give myself completely away. It was my problem after all, not Brooke's.

"**Any other investigatory questions for me, Broody?" **

"**How much do you love Victoria?" **I asked carefully. The second I said it, I wished I could take them back. I knew the answer. My stupidity just got the better of me. I was close to losing.

"**Can you wait for a moment? I'm trying to compose my thoughts. That was pretty straightforward, I'll be honest. I wasn't expecting that." **She said. I just nodded, holding on to the very small ounce of relief that flowed through my veins. Maybe I wasn't losing just yet. I waited.

"**Well, Victoria is still my mother. Even if the world turns upside down, she is still my mother. There's nothing I could do about that. I mean, yah, she could be a bitch if she wants to, but she is still my mother. She's still my own flesh and blood, you know? I cannot just simply abandon her. She may have abandoned me when I was young, but she came back. I have wanted to be with my mother for so long now, and now I got it. It's here…she's here…my wish was granted. Somehow, I am thankful for having her. I know she has my best interests at heart. She was pushing me so hard to work to the best of my abilities because, I believe, she knows that's right. She only wants the best for me. Though it may seem like she only cares for herself, I know that deep down, she cares for me, too. I could feel like she really loves me. I'm really just trying to focus on the positive side of her."**

I'm dead. I just knew. In that brief second that she spoke, the faint glow lost its light again. My hope just became a dot, like that of a sniper gun. Once again, I felt beaten. I was punched again at my stomach that I felt like I flew across the world and back. From this moment on, it would only be hours before I would be completely defeated. But, I still wasn't. The dot was still there. Call me a wishful thinker, but I wasn't giving up until that dot would be gone. I had to savor this moment. I had to treasure this; memorize every scene, the smell, the sight, the feeling, everything! I had to take a mental picture of this, if this would be last happiest moment of my life- if this even fell under the category of "happy." But, then again, I figured I shouldn't. I might be regretting it. It would only bring back the hurt, defeat, and loss I was feeling now. I couldn't take this. I had to get out of here.

"**I get it." **I said. I really did get it.

"**Get what?" **She asked. Confusion filled her voice.

"**Never mind. Are you done?" **Close call.

"**Yup. I'm pretty much full."**

I paid the bill and went out, not wanting to take in some more of the scenery. I was blocking out any remembrance of it. I guided Brooke to the car, and took her in. I knew she was bothered by me. I could feel it. I could sense that she has a lot of questions. I wished she wouldn't push it as I wasn't ready to answer them yet, nor would I ever be.

"**Is there somewhere you like to go? The rest of the night is up to you."**

"**Nope. I think I just want to go home. I'm pretty much beat."**

The silence between us was uncomfortable. But I barely noticed it. I was still drowning in my thoughts. Deep inside, I was wallowing in grief and remorse. I wouldn't dare show it. I couldn't even face Brooke right now. I could feel like she was battling within herself whether she should talk or not. I kept on praying, or chanting, that she won't. Once she would, I wouldn't stop myself. I would spill all the beans, completely blowing this façade I worked so hard on building, and I was not going to let it crumble that easily. It took every cell within me to create this. I didn't want this, but fate pushed itself on me, and there was nothing I could do to take it off from me. I was glued to it forever, with nothing to do but to accept it, though it was against my will. Before I knew it, we were already at Brooke's house.

_**I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain  
And watched my bad habits get flushed away  
I thought that that would keep my head on straight  
And all my pain would be in yesterday**_

"**Come on. Go inside for a while." **She said, grabbing my hand and taking me inside. The gesture took me off- guard. I wasn't prepared. She wasn't supposed to do this. She wasn't supposed to hold my hand. I fought within myself to stop right there and hug me with all my might. I had to be strong.

Once we were inside, she proceeded to her bedroom. Once she was out of sight, like, completely out of sight, I made my way to the door. I couldn't stay here any longer. My will would crumble if I did. But something stopped me. I heard a loud thud that seemed to come from the bedroom. I didn't stop myself. My will created cracks on it, but I didn't care. At this moment, I was Brooke's Lucas Scott, but only for this moment. I was Lucas Scott, not the monster that Brooke was seeing all this evening.

I rushed frantically to her bedroom. Then, I saw her. I saw my Brooke, my angel, sobbing uncontrollably on the floor. She looked like a young girl who just lost her doll. I rushed to her side and cradled her in my arms. I tucked her head on my neck as I constantly kissed her head to comfort her. I wondered why she was crying this hard. Then, another sound filled my ears. It was Jess' voice from the answering machine. Then it dawned on me.

Brooke just lost one of their biggest dealers. Guilt was the first emotion that washed over me. I completely blamed myself for letting this happen. I knew it would. A voice at the back of my head told me it would. But I ignored it. I chose to completely have Brooke to myself, an act of selfishness that was taking its toll on me now. At an instant, I, too, was crying. But I wasn't sobbing. I just let my mask fall to the ground, and let the tears come out. They were fighting their way out of my eyes at that damned dinner, but I didn't let them. Now, I just lost control. Now would be the perfect time since Brooke would not see my tears. I was crying for many reasons. One was for Brooke. This was her dream. She didn't deserve to lose it. She didn't do anything to deserve this. Another reason was because this was the last straw. I kept on asking God to give me a sign that I should do _**it**_, that I should follow what fate told me to do. This was the sign. Brooke missing out on a lot of work was the first. Victoria was the second. Brooke's answers to my questions were the third. Now this was the fourth. The voice that told me that I should do it, the one which I was ignoring ever since it existed, was the fifth, and the last. I wasn't going to ask for more signs. These were enough, and if I did ask for more, I knew I would only get hurt. My heart couldn't take some more. Brooke's pain was my pain. But my pain wasn't hers to bear. I had to make her happy, knowing that it would also ease me.

_**But it's true  
I'm still blue  
But I finally know what to do  
I must quit, I must quit, you**_

I completely resigned to my fate. I decided to do _**it**_. I decided to let fate take its course on me. The small dot of hope was gone. There was nothing I could see. I just officially lost the battle. My men were down, a white flag above my head. I surrendered. I didn't care anymore. The monster was back. The selfish monster was back. The monster who thought everything revolved around him, the one who thought of only himself was resurfacing. I was heartless. From now on, I was Lucas Scott, the heartless monster, like the one before all this happened.

After some minutes, I wiped my tears away. I positioned myself and carried Brooke to her bed. She stopped crying, too. Now, we were snuggled up on her bed. Her face was buried at my chest, while my hand was at her waist. I wasn't letting any emotion flow through my veins. Not only was I heartless, but also, I was emotionless. Numb. Dense, if you please.

"**Please don't leave me." **Brooke whispered through silent sobs. I couldn't answer. Brooke was bringing out the old Lucas Scott, the one which I just killed moments ago. She was resurrecting it. I could feel it. It was finding a way to escape the darkness to where it was trapped.

"**Please?" **She pleaded. It was getting stronger. It was searching every place of my body to escape. I couldn't let it escape. I couldn't, and I wouldn't.

"**Please promise me you will." **She begged some more. I had to stop myself from screaming. I thought I was Superman, the worst kind that was. I thought I was indestructible. My will wouldn't crumble. It just wouldn't. But, Superman had a weakness, too. It was kryptonite. I had my own version of kryptonite, too. And I was sitting beside it. It was weakening me. I was creating holes for the old me to escape. The holes were getting bigger now. It was slowly getting out.

"**As long as it's the best for you." **The monster said. It was a lie. I knew it was lie. A monster wouldn't say things like that. A monster would always go for the kill. Its aim was to hurt people. But I was only hurting myself, something a monster wouldn't do to himself.

"**You're always the best for me." **She said. The kryptonite just kept on glowing, signaling the intensity of its power, signaling the great effect it was making on me, the weakness it was affecting on me.

_**I thought that if I didn't go and play  
The sadness would get bored and go away  
I thought that if I didn't go astray  
That all my pain would be in yesterday**_

Then my kryptonite lost its power. It went to sleep. Her words kept on repeating in my head. It was making me nuts. It was making me explode. I wasn't the best for her. How dare she say that! A monster wasn't the best for anybody!

I was detaching myself from my kryptonite. I had to regain my strength. I completely resigned to my fate, didn't I? There was no turning back. I had to separate myself from her. I had to detach myself. It would only get harder if I just kept on sticking to her. I would only hurt her if I got this close. I couldn't let my angel be hurt. I couldn't let anything destroy her perfect face, her angelic face. This was all me. She didn't have anything to do with it. She would be perfectly fine. I had to make her perfectly fine. The sooner I do this, the better it would be. I couldn't take hurting the both of us. If anyone would have to be hurt, it would be me. I deserved it. I started this, and I would finish it. Give all the appropriate punishments of my selfishness to me, everything to me, but not her. I acted on my own accord. She had nothing to do with this. Spare her from everything. Give it all to me.

It would only be hours again before she would wake up. In these sleepless hours, I had to completely transform myself. If I was going to be a monster, so be it. No turning back. This was my choice. I had to live with it. I wouldn't let anything destroy me. Not even my kryptonite.

I had to do this. I would only be hurting the both of us if I didn't do this now. It would only kill me.

_**But it's true  
I'm still blue  
But I finally know what to do  
I must quit, I must quit, you**_

* * *

I woke up feeling sore. My eyes felt heavy and my body was limp. I stretched my arms above my head. Last night's events came back to me all of a sudden. I just lost Barney's, the company's biggest investor. Losing Barney's was like losing Clothes over Bro's. But I couldn't let that happen. I have come this far to reaching my dream, and I surely won't let go of it just yet. But, then, I felt hopeless. All the hope within was drained out. I couldn't feel anything. I felt my eyes well up with tears, and I brushed it away.

Lucas. Where was he? Did he leave? He promised he would stay, didn't he? I felt dependent on him. It was him that I was holding on to for life, for support. I scrambled out of my bed, frantically searching for him. I began to feel helpless. What if he left? What if he didn't keep his promise? What if all my nightmares were slowly becoming true? I was going ballistic.

A wave of relief flowed through my veins. There he was. He was sitting on the couch of my living room, watching TV. I slowly took a seat beside him, and laid my head on his shoulder. He didn't move, not even an inch. He was motionless. He was like a sculpture planted on the couch, staring through the television. I turned to take a good look at his face. It was the same. It was the same mask he had on- eyes droopy, forehead creased, lips on a thin line, and jaw clenched. It was the same look he had on ever since we had our dinner, the same look that gave me shivers, the same look that bothered me so much.

The feeling of curiosity shook me again. The questions I had for a long time now kept on boring through my brain, as if pushing me to say them, to ask them to him. But I dare not. If there was a problem, he would come to me. He would tell me and we would talk about it. But I wish he would come sooner. I couldn't stand seeing him like this, defeated and hopeless. I couldn't read what's on his mind. Only his face would show me what was going on inside him. But it was vague. I could hardly read him. One thing I was sure, though, he had a problem that he wouldn't tell me.

_**I sold my guitar and my piano  
I thought that it was these that kept me low  
I thought if only I could try and change  
That all my pain would be in yesterday**_

Then it hit me like a gun. Lucas was feeling guilty for all of this. He was blaming himself for everything that happened. Jess' messages told me that she left me a million of messages on my phone, telling me about the news. But, wanting that night to be romantic, I turned my phone into a silent mode. I didn't look at it even once. I just focused on Lucas. Now, Lucas was probably feeling responsible for all of this. But he was wrong. He was dead wrong! If there's got to be someone to blame, it would be me. It was my company after all, right? Not his.

Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. I wasn't even sure if my hunch was right. I had to confirm it. I would only be giving him the idea if I was wrong. But I couldn't think of anything else. What would be bothering him? This is frustrating me! I wished he would open up.

"**Let's get you to work." **Lucas said in a lifeless tone. I had to shake myself, wondering if I heard it right, or if it was just my wishful thinking that he spoke.

"**What?" **I turned to look at him.

"**Take a bath. I'm taking you to your office." **He said, turning to meet my eyes. His eyes were nothing, looked nothing. His face was unreadable, vague. I was confused.

"**Why? I'm not going to work." **I said stubbornly. Truth be told, I wasn't in the mood to go to work today. I couldn't face the problem yet. Yes, call me a coward or whatever. But that was just how I feel.

"**Brooke, I'm taking you to work whether you like it or not." **Lucas said sternly. He spoke through gritted teeth. He pronounced every word carefully, posing a threat on me. I was scared. I was intimidated. Why the hell was he angry? I decided not to push it. It would only anger him more, and that's the last thing I need right now.

"**If anything happens badly, I'm going straight home." **I challenged. He didn't say anything. He just slumped back to the couch. I sighed. I stood up and prepared myself for the worst day of my life.

Everything that happened was a blur. An hour and a half later, I was in the office. I wasn't paying attention to everything that was happening inside the office. I was more preoccupied with what happened with Lucas this morning. So, he was kind of in a bad mood this morning. I decided not to ask him yet, wanting him to cool down first. He drove me to the office. The vibe that surrounded us in the car was unnerving. I could feel the tension coming off him. It was enough to drive him nuts. I wanted to ask him so badly. When I found the courage to do so, I chickened out. I was scared to ask him. His eyes were narrowed into thin slits, his hands were clenched on the steering wheel, and his lips were still pursed into a thin, hard line. It was like he was fighting something within himself. He was stopping something. In addition to this, he was brooding- that was definitely his "brooding mode."

Then we arrived at the office. The car just turned into a silent purr. But Lucas wasn't making any effort to go out of the car. I took this as my cue to help myself out.

"**I'll see you later." **He said in that tone again. He was staring straight ahead, not even bothering to look at me. I just nodded and got out. There was not even a kiss! Not even a peck on the cheek! Or on the forehead! What the hell was happening to him?!

_**But it's true  
I'm still blue  
But I finally know what to do  
I must quit, I must quit, you**_

That was it. I couldn't take anymore of this. It was either I'm going to push him over the edge just to tell me what's going on, or he would have to tell me himself. Either way, I was going to find out from him tonight. I wouldn't settle for tomorrow, just this day.

OK. So now I'm in the office. I was looking for Victoria. After I had that talk with Lucas about my mom, I was determined to make things right with her. if we would have to work together for the better of this company, we would have to sort things out. She was my mother, after all.

Then, I found her. Perfect timing.

"**Mom, can I talk to you for a second?"**

She looked at me curiously. **"Brooke, how many times do I have to tell you not to call me mom? And, can this wait later? As you probably know, we are in a crisis right now. You just lost Barney's, remember? Bother to get them back?" **

"**Yah, yah. I know. I just wanted to say something to you." **I hesitated, watching for her reaction.

"**Well? What is it? Hurry up. I haven't got all day for this."**

"**I just wanted to thank you for apologizing to Lucas. You know, about the outburst you had with him. I just want to thank you. It really meant a lot to me." **I said wholeheartedly. Now that didn't seem too bad.

"**What apologizing are you talking about?"**

I was confused. **"You know, when I found you two talking in my office. Lucas said you apologized to him. Isn't that right?"**

"**Me? Apologize to Lucas for how I acted? Ha! If there's someone who should be apologizing, that someone should be him. That boy didn't know how rudely he acted. Is that what he told you?"**

OK. I was truly, utterly confused. Who the hell was telling the truth? **"Yes. Then, if I was wrong, what were you two talking about that morning?"**

"**That, you have to find out from him. I wouldn't want to be the one telling you, honey. I didn't want to break the news to you myself. He should tell you. Funny, I thought he told you already." **Victoria said with a mocking face and voice that I just wanted to rip out.

"**Told me what?" **I demanded angrily.

"**Ask him. He'll tell you. Especially now that you have just lost Barney's. Well, I have work to do. And you, have tons of work to do, too. You better get on it." **She said, walking away.

Especially now that I have lost Barney's? To hell what she means! Who was I supposed to believe? Who was telling the truth? One thing I know for sure, Lucas wasn't telling me everything.

I felt my blood boiling. Anger pulsed through my veins. I knew something would happen badly, and my agreement with Lucas was that I would go straight home. I knew it! I needed to get out of here. Without wasting another minute, I left my office. I left the scramble my office has become. I was about to get this down with Lucas- whether he liked it or not.

I arrived at my house, hoping he was still there. And he was, his car was parked on my driveway. I entered the house and dropped my purse on the floor. I was half- running to search for him. Then I saw him in my living room. He looked so nervous. He kept on pacing back and forth. I guessed he sensed something was coming for him.

"**Lucas Eugene Scott!" **He didn't wince at the mention of his second name. Instead, he just looked up, the same face he had this morning, the same face that gave me the creeps ever since last night. He waited for me to continue.

"**You better tell me what you and my mom talked about! Or so God help me, I would crush you to death just to force you to tell me!" **I said angrily. My nostrils were flaring. I could feel my lower lip tremble. My eyes narrowed into him, piercing and throwing him daggers. I was shaking with fury. My hands curled into balls of fists. Anger beat at my every pulse.

He didn't relax. He didn't tense up, either. His jaw was just clenched, his face smooth and emotionless. I waited.

"**I'm leaving, Brooke." **He said.

Everything changed in that millisecond. In just a snap of a finger, the anger that was pulsing through my veins changed into dread. I stopped shaking. My hands slowly uncurled themselves. My eyes widened and welled up with tears.

This was the bomb I knew I had all along, and now, it was just dropped on me. And I'm afraid I couldn't stop it from exploding.

_**I must quit, I must quit, you**_

* * *

**AN: Yay! New longest chapter! Yay! LOL! Did you guys see this coming? LOL! I bet some of you did. Everything else would be explained in the next chapter.**

**OneTreeHillForeverLover****- **What you want to know would be revealed in the next chapter. Everything will be in there. Thanks for the review!

**Sophia-Chad****- **Ok, so do you still have that "good excitement?" I hope! LOL! Now, you've seen half of it. The other half is in the next chapter.

**BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE****- **Yes, Barney's just did that. Sorry, it can only be one way or the other. But Brucas has a way of choosing things. Thanks for the review!

**IamCaroline****- **Hmmm…you'll find out in the next chapter whether your theory is 100 percent correct. As of now, I'll say that you're 50 percent correct. Thanks for the review!

**hoeoverbros****- **We'll see if Brooke balances work and Lucas. Or would someone have to balance that for her? We'll see. Thanks for the review!

**brookenlucas4eva03****- **You are so right there! LOL! Drama is the word! Thanks for reviewing!

**onetreefan****- **Well, Lucas is really sad, as all of you have seen in the previous chapters. Hmmm…Lucas wouldn't leave just that, but he could. Thank for the review!

**iloveothmica****- **Poor Lucas, really! LOL! Well, I hope you're not close to death. Oh! About your theory, hmmm…I'm saying you're MOSTLY correct. Thanks for reviewing, Mica!

**OTHbrucas4ever****- **Hmmm…the similarity with Twilight will be in the next chapter. Brucas is really in a unknown shape right now. Thanks for the review, Trish!

**NEXT CHAPTER 10 reviews…wink**

_Song: Coffee and Cigarettes by Michelle Featherstone_

**--cheery**


	21. Happy Ending

"**I'm leaving, Brooke." **I was awestruck. Dumbfounded. Why did his voice sound so distant, like he was light years away from me? I felt like my tongue was literally tied which caused my inability to speak. I could feel that my heart stopped beating. I couldn't feel anything. The blood has stopped flowing through my veins.

_**This is the way you left me,  
I'm not pretending.  
No hope, no love, no glory,  
No Happy Ending.  
This is the way that we love,  
Like it's forever.  
Then live the rest of our life,  
But not together.**_

Why was I not _**that**_ surprised? Had I known this all along? Was I just waiting for him to say it? Somewhere at the back of my mind, I knew this was coming. I was just too stubborn to ignore it. I thought it was just one of my crazy imaginations, those which were never bound to happen. But this one did. What I'm feeling right now was more of stupidity. My gut feeling told me a long time ago that something was up, something oddly up these past few days. But I shrugged off the feeling. I waited for Lucas to tell me if there was a problem. I knew it; he would only tell me when he was already in too deep. That was so typical of him. I felt stupid for not initiating. I could have asked first, didn't I? But I didn't. And now this happened; the one which I was scared of the whole time.

"**Brooke, I'm leaving." **He repeated, cutting a knife through my heart once more. As if I didn't hear it the first time!

"**I thought you left my house a long time ago. You know, to change." **I said, playing dumb. I was trying to alleviate the feeling. Maybe I was overreacting.

"**Brooke, you know what I mean. I'm leaving, as in leaving New York." **He said firmly. His eyes were expressionless once again. His eyebrows were furrowed, as if in deep thought. His forehead showed lines, an evidence of his heavy brooding. His lips never smiled, nor frowned; they were just into a thin, hard line. Though he looked at me, I knew he was staring right past me.

"**Why?" **I whispered. I couldn't speak more fluently now, as if I just lost my voice. I could feel the tears at the brim of my eyes. I wouldn't stop them from falling. If my tears would stop Lucas from leaving, then I'm going to use them to my advantage.

"**Brooke, I'm sure you know why." **He said smugly.

"**No. I need to hear it from you." **I pleaded. My voice croaked and I was sobbing heavily now.

"**Brooke, if I continued staying here, you would only lose your company."**

"**Lucas, that is my company! You didn't have anything to do with it. You and my company are two different parts of my life, ok? What brought all of this on?" **I demanded. I was shedding tears of anger. I could feel my voice running.

"**Really, Brooke, have you been that oblivious? Didn't you see what was happening to your company?"**

"**Lucas, I have seen what was happening. So, I lost Barney's. I missed some meetings. I have a lot of work on my desk. So what?! What does that have to do with you?"**

"**Uggghh! Brooke! Don't you get it? All of those happened to you because of me!"**

"**No! Don't you dare blame this on yourself!" **I had to free him; free him from this…guilt. He was having the apprehension that all of this happened because of him. I had to erase the guilt from his heart. None of these was his fault. If there's someone to be blamed, it had to be me.

"**No! You don't get it, do you? Brooke, you have been spending an awful lot of time with me! Time that should have been spent with meetings with your big clients! Time that should have been spent grabbing opportunities for your company to venture in! But, instead, you spent time with me! And what did you get in return? This!" **He said. He threw his hands in the air, frustrated. He pinched the bridge of his nose, closed his eyes, and sighed deeply.

"**Wait, so you regret spending time with me?"**

"**No! No, that is so not it! Don't you get the point? You lost your company because we spent most of your time together!"**

"**Prove it! Prove me that you should be the one to blame!"**

"**Ok. Let's start from the very beginning, shall we? OK. Remember the time when I took you out to lunch and we spent the day at the park? You spent the night at my house. Next morning, when I got up, your phone was ringing like crazy. You even shouted at someone while you were at it. Remember?" **He asked. He stopped pacing around my room, and turned to me for an answer.

"**Yah. So?" **I said, keeping my composure. I knew I was going to lose this battle. Lucas would show me, in every way, that he was in the wrong.

"**You were obviously needed at work that time. But you ignored those calls and stayed with me- not that I'm complaining or anything."**

"**That day was nothing. Just a couple of things I needed to approve for the magazine. Any other proof?" **I said coldly at him. That was lie. That was supposed to be my meeting with Nina Garcia, who was trying to get a hold of me for the past month already.

"**At the dinner, you said that you had a lot of meetings that you had to reschedule the others for the next day. Tell me, did those meetings just come out of the blue, or did you have them for a long time already, that you just keep on postponing them? Please tell me the truth, Brooke."**

"**So I just kept on postponing them. So what?!" **

"**I knew it! Why the hell would you do that?! This dream of yours, it came first! I just came in second. I do get that. I really do. That's why I want you to prioritize this over me. Why the hell did you think that?!"**

"**I wanted you to be always the first, Lucas! You were always my priority! Screw Clothes over Bro's! Screw everything! All that matters to me is you! And if you're not kind enough to appreciate that, then I'm sorry! I'm sorry for always putting you on top of my list!" **I said with heavy sarcasm.

"**Brooke, you just told me over at our dinner that nothing would ever make you give up that company. And that nothing includes me!"  
**

"**No! That nothing did not include you! I would give up everything just for you."**

"**But I don't want you to do that. I will never ever forgive myself if you give up your dream for me."**

"**So you're just sending yourself away to Exile Island?! You're making the decision for me?"**

"**If that is what's needed, then yes. I would do that."**

"**I can't believe you! What pushed you to this?! What the hell gave you an idea that you should do this?!" **I demanded.

He just looked away. Shoot! I knew it!

_**Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life  
Can't get no love without sacrifice  
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well  
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell**_

"**Does this concern Victoria? Lucas, you have to tell me right now if this concerns my mother!"**

"**Brooke, all I wanted is for you and your mother to be normal! To be civil with each other!"  
**

"**That was not what I was asking for! And for your information, I have accepted long time ago that my mother and I would always be like this. Whatever I do, however I initiate, she would never warm up to me!"  
**

"**That's why I'm trying!"**

"**Lucas, you did not answer my question! Did my mother say anything to you?! You better tell me right now, or I would beat my own mother just to let her tell me!" **I was raging. Anger was pulsing through my veins.

"**So she said **_**some**_ **things." **He said tersely.

"**What things? Lucas, please, just tell me!"  
**

"**She told me that I better stay out of your way before your company crumbles down, which she was sure that I would not like to happen." **He said in a deadpan voice.

"**And you heeded her advice?! Lucas! What were you thinking? If there's anyone **_**not**_** to follow, it would certainly be my mom! You, of all people, should know that!"**

"**Oh! So you think I just took her advice without thinking about it? Wow. How stupid do you think I am, Brooke?" **He said sarcastically.

"**So…you…agree…with…her?" **I said carefully, tears threatening to spill over again.

_**This is the hardest story that I've ever told  
No hope, or love, or glory  
Happy endings gone forever more  
I feel as if I'm wastin'  
And I'm wastin' everyday**_

"**Brooke, this was something that was on my mind for a very long time already. Victoria or no Victoria, I was going to do this." **He said warmly.

"**You were going to leave me either way?" **I said disbelievingly.

"**If for the sake of you and your company, then yes." **He said, sounding quite proud of himself.

"**You were going to leave me again? I can't believe this!"**

"**Brooke, I was left with no choice! I don't want you to lose your company! I have to save it somehow."**

"**By leaving me?! Lucas, that is the dumbest and the most stupid thing I have ever heard! Didn't you think of something else?"**

"**My presence here is the only problem. Once I'm here, you'll never focus on your company. You'll always be distracted."**

"**So you're saying that I'm easily distracted by you? That I can't focus on my work whenever you're around? How professional do you think I am, Lucas? Please, give me a little more credit."**

"**Brooke, I know you're not like that. But that is what I'm saying. You have your assistant calling you every five minutes."**

"**I do not believe this! At all! I can't believe you're saying this! Of all people!"**

"**Tell me, Brooke. Why did you lose Barney's?"**

_**This is the way you left me,  
I'm not pretending.  
No hope, no love, no glory,  
No Happy Ending.  
This is the way that we love,  
Like it's forever.  
Then live the rest of our life,  
But not together.**_

"**What? Why?"**

"**Just answer the damn question."**

"**Because I missed the meeting they set, which was supposed to be about their deal with us."**

"**When was the meeting supposed to be?"**

"**Yesterday night."**

"**And why weren't you there?"**

"**What the hell, Lucas?! Are we playing 20 questions here?!"**

"**Answer it. Why weren't you there?"**

"**Because we had dinner!" **I said exasperatedly. Where was he taking this?

"**And why didn't you know that you had a meeting?"**

"**Because I turned my phone to a silent mode."**

"**And why would you do that?"**

"**Because we were having dinner and I don't want anything to intrude it."**

"**Finally! Now do you get my point?"**

"**Barely. Why do I have to choose? Why can't you just stay and I'll run my business."**

_**2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind  
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around  
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep  
I can think that we just carried on**_

"**Technically, Brooke, you're not choosing. I'm the one that's choosing. And why can't I stay? I guess…" **He sighed. **"…it's not meant to be." **He finished.

"**It's not meant to be? No way, Lucas! I'm not going to go through that 'not meant to be' crap again! Lucas, we are meant to be! Why won't you get that through your head?!"  
**

"**Brooke, if we're meant to be, why is this happening? Why am I always told that I had to separate myself from you? Why is fate telling me that I can't be with you?"**

"**I don't know, ok? All I know is we are meant to be."**

"**Probably it's really best that I leave."**

"**Wait, let's back up a minute there. You are not leaving."**

"**No, Brooke. I have decided. I made up my mind. I'm leaving."**

"**So you're leaving just like that? In a snap of a finger, you're just leaving. Isn't that a little insensitive, Lucas? What about my feelings, Lucas?" **I pleaded.

"**You'll be just fine. You'll forget about me and move on. There are other guys out there."**

"**You make it sound so simple and easy when it's not! Are you that eager to leave me?"**

"**It's only the truth, Brooke."**

_**This is the way you left me,  
I'm not pretending.  
No hope, no love, no glory,  
No Happy Ending.  
This is the way that we love,  
Like it's forever.  
Then live the rest of our life,  
But not together.**_

"**Didn't you learn from the last time you left me?"**

"**What about it?" **He asked, as if not knowing the answer.

"**I can't believe this! Who are you? Lucas, I was mess when you left me! I couldn't think, sleep, eat, work, whatever! I was a living zombie, ok? And when you came back, you resurrected everything in me! Don't those things mean anything for you?"**

"**Brooke, that was because you were so attached to me! Let's say it was Nathan that left you, I'm sure you would have felt the same way. That's why I'm detaching myself from you. Didn't you notice that?"**

"**I did. I did notice that. I thought you had some problem that you didn't want to tell me."**

"**This was my problem! This hurts me, too, you know. I was living in my own personal hell these past few days after Victoria told me that. I knew she was right. I knew I had to bring myself to do this. For your sake, not mine. I just didn't know if I could do it. That's why I was restraining myself from you. It would be easier that way. It would be easier if I'm not so attached to you anymore."**

"**If this is hard for you, too, then why are you still leaving?"**

"**Because I had to. Like I said, for your sake."**

"**Lucas, you leaving me is not for my sake! It would only cause my death!"**

"**I'm sure you'll be just fine."**

"**How can you take this so lightly?"**

"**I don't want to make this harder to either of us, so I'm taking this lightly. I have no intentions of hurting you, Brooke."**

"**But you just did! You just hurt me, Lucas! And you're saying I can easily move on to other guys? Lucas, you're the only guy! You're my guy! Goodness' sake! Can't you get that?"**

_**A Little bit of love, little bit of love  
Little bit of love, little bit of love**_

"**Then why is this happening? If we're meant to be, why am I always pulled away from you?"**

"**I don't know, ok? This idea is so absurd! Lucas, you promise me last night that you won't leave me. You promised!"**

"**I promised with a condition. I said I'll never leave you as long as it's the best for you."**

"**And I said you're always what's best for me."**

"**No, Brooke. I'm not what is best for you. Look at your company right now. My presence here is not the best for you. You're only suffering because of me. You're slowly losing your dream because of me. This is not what I wished for you. This is now what I believe is best for you."**

"**Fine! I get it! I'll shut down Clothes over Bro's right this very minute. If that's the only way that could make you stay."**

"**You're being absurd! You and I both know you're not serious with that idea. It would both of us if you do that."**

"**Is there no other way I could do to make you stay?"**

"**No. I'm leaving. I have decided. If we meet again in the next years, so be it. we'll figure something out. You will have a clean break from now, don't worry. It will be as if I never came back to you…for you."**

"**As if you never came back?! That's going to be hard to pretend, Lucas. It will be twice as hard to remove that from my memories."**

"**I'm sure you'll fare just fine. Busy yourself with work. Do whatever you can. Brooke, I need you to promise me one thing."**

"**What?" **A faint glimmer of hope sparked within me.

"**Please do everything in your power to forget about me. Please."**

"**Lucas, I can't promise you that. You know I can't promise you that."**

"**Fine, then. Promise me you'll try."**

"**I can't answer that right now."**

"**I'm making you a promise in return. I'm promising that I won't interfere in your life any longer. That, I can say true to you."**

"**Please don't say that. Why are you doing this, Lucas? To me…to us."**

"**This is for you, Brooke. Remember, I'm doing this for you. Not for me. You'll see soon what I mean. But I need you to forget about me."**

"**Are you giving up on me?" **I whispered. Tears spilling over my cheeks.

"**For now. I don't know if this is for forever."**

"**Don't…" **I trailed off. I couldn't bring myself to ask the question. I couldn't make the words escape from my lips. It would only slice my heart completely. But if I didn't, I wouldn't know my answer forever.

"**What?"**

"**Don't you love me anymore?"**

I finally breathed out the words, they barely escaped my lips. I closed my eyes, praying he would answer no. The tears ran down more freely than the last minute. I was crying a river here.

Several seconds ticked by. Still no answer. As more seconds ticked by, fear trickled through my blood. I was dreading to hear the answer every second. I was preparing myself for the worst, or for the best.

"**No." **He finally said. My heart was just cut into two in that millisecond. I sobbed harder. I didn't even bother to look at him. I just fell to the ground, sobbing as I went. Then I heard footsteps coming near me. It was Lucas. I felt him kiss me on the head. But still, I didn't look up. I was too busy digesting his answer. Who knew that a one word like that could cause so much pain and heartbreak?

I heard the front door shut. My head shot up. Lucas left already. I tried to run as fast as I can. But when I reached the doorstep, nothing was there. The neighborhood was carrying on like nothing happened…like Lucas never showed up here at all.

Then I noticed it. The October snow is falling from the New York skies…like the world fell from my universe.

_**This is the way you left me,  
I'm not pretending.  
No hope, no love, no glory,  
No Happy Ending.  
This is the way that we love,  
Like it's forever.  
To live the rest of our life,  
But not together.**_

* * *

**Hi guys! New chapter! Please review!**

**BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE, **oth234234, **brookenlucas4eva03, **Sophia-Chad, **IamCaroline, **onetreefan, **Bazzle, **iloveothmica, **whiters, **and hoeoverbros.

Thank you guys so much for the awesome reviews! I'm kinda running fast that's why I cannot thank y'all personally!

Oh! **Iloveothmica **and **IamCaroline, **congratulations are in honor to the both of you! You guys guessed what's happening right before I actually told everyone! Congrats! LOL! I just didn't tell you that you were both right so as not to spoil! LOL!

**--cheery**


	22. Coda

OK

OK. Before you start shooting me with your guns, or bows, or whatever weapons you have, let me explain.

Ok. So the reason why I was not updating for AN AWFUL LONG time was because a new idea dawned on me. This idea told me to purposely end this story HERE. As in right now. Let me explain why. Reason number one: **Don't you all just love cliffhangers?** Where's Lucas? Did he really leave New York? How was Brooke? Was she coping well, or really bad? Did she get Barney's back? How was the company? What would become of Brucas? I know, these are probably some of your million questions that you just want to throw at me right now. But sadly, all of these would be answered in the sequel. Yes- there would be a sequel. Repeat: A SEQUEL IS COMING YOUR WAY!

Reason number two: School is coming up. It'll only be a few weeks before school starts, which means I will update at a much later time. I don't know if I'll be able to do school, AND update regularly. School's going to be soooo busy, and I'm afraid I might not update. From which, I knew idea was born: I'm going to have to co- write the sequel with someone else. Yes, you head me right. I am open to ANYONE to wants to co- write this story's sequel with me. Anyone- and I mean ANYONE- is so welcome to ask me. Let me know!

Ok. So I guess this is the end of the road of this story—for now. You'll be seeing more of me in the sequel, which I'm sure you're dying to read now. So those who want to co- write with me, tell me! I'm not guaranteeing a first come, first serve basis. Just tell me if you want to co- write with me, and I'm going to pick, if ever there's a lot of you who want to.

As my final act, I want to thank **EVERYONE **really tuned in to this story. I'm hoping to see all of you again in the sequel.

**Thank yous….**

**ALERTS: **All Stories Have Happy Endings, BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE, Bazzle, Brooke Davis-Scott, Brucasfan23, Colleen3200, DCOTHfan80, Demi Vastille, FrenchOthFan, GossipGirlLover, Hot Boy Wayne, Ice-CooL-11, Kinky1, LoveLin, PouringDownRain, PrettyGirl826, babymomo79, brookenlucas4eva03, copperboom321, etfanalltheway, gilmoregrly4life, harroc83, hoeoverbros, iloveothmica, onetreefan, onetreehillgirl066, oth234234, othfan22, schu1844, thosbabybluez, tifa1984, and whiters

**FAVORITES: **Artemis no Himitsu, Brucasfan23, Ice-CooL-11, Kristin1416, M190192, OTH GURL, OneTreeHillForeverLover, Sophia-Chad, brucas2gether, hoeoverbros, iloveoth3, iloveothmica, madcap312, othfan22, oxjessioxonetreehill, screwwithmyhead, and thosbabybluez

**REVIEWS: **OneTreeHillForeverLover, iloveothmica, hoeoverbros, BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE, brookenlucas4eva03, Sophia-Chad, Sophia-Chad, IamCaroline, oth234234, SophiaFan05 **(Nicole, I SUPER LOVED YOUR REVIEW!), **onetreefan, Bazzle, whiters, OTHbrucas4ever, Brucasfan23, Jessica, brucas2gether, copperboom321, oxjessioxonetreehill, brucas3, bella, M190192, SV, gilmoregrly4life, GossipGirlLover, othfan326, AmbroCoo, evergloweyes, M190192, Brucas True Love, othfan22, onetreehillgirl066, and MaDShiPPA

Thank you to everyone who put me in their alerts and favorites, and to those who gave awesome reviews! You all rock! I will forever be grateful to all of you!

Till then…

So I guess it's safe to say that this story has reached its coda, its final act.

Thank you again, and till next time…_**bows**_

**--cheery**


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